Go To Hell
by PikaGirl260
Summary: Never trust a cute face. That's a lesson Rin learned the hard way when he was fooled into a ghoul's trap and had a hole punched through his lung, left for dead. Until a white-haired stranger saved him, though it came at a cost: Rin has to give up the last amount of humanity he has to become a creature that everybody fears. To return home, he must fight his new hunger. But can he?
1. Chapter 1: No Air

_**A/N**_

 ** _I'm not gonna spend forever here but I just wanna say hey! I hope you guys enjoy this idea that I have; I can't wait to write more and, as soon as exams are over, then I'll be updating quite frequently. Until then, though, this is probably going to be the only chapter for about a month. But that all depends on you. I'd love to hear what you think of this first chapter if you have the time ^^_**

 ** _Anyhoo, enjoy the chapter ^^_**

 ** _Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX_**

 ** _(Also I'm gonna use horizontal lines to break up any small time skips I might make in the chapter. And by small, I mean minutes or hours... Basically changed in location and stuff like that. You get it, right?)_**

* * *

"Damn I swear this freaking sun hates me!" I growl with a distasteful pout to Yukio, who's sat at his desk whilst his pen lazily darts over the papers before him, most likely running through and marking the latest test we took in cram school. He may as well just give me my F right now; there's not really any point in waiting in anticipation since there's no hope of me getting a better grade. Everyone knows I work better on the field anyways! Being an exorcist isn't about all the little facts; it's about beating the crap out of demons! But apparently grades matter, which is something I never understood.

When I get no response from my twin, I puff out my cheeks, huffing loudly as my eyes stare out of the window, able to see the way that whatever lies in my vision ripples due to the sheer heat. It's so freaking warm in here! And, because our dormitory block is most likely as old as our old man was, it doesn't have any AC at all. So all we have to rely on to keep us cool is a shitty little fan that just spits the hot air back in my face at a faster speed. Again, Yukio doesn't shift, so I roll my eyes and lean forward, my elbows connecting with the wood of my desk as my tail dangles limply behind me; there's no way I'm keeping it bottled up under my shirt in weather like this. Plus, it's just Yukio and I, so it doesn't really matter. Screw that whole 'a real gentleman keeps his tail tucked in tight' bull that Mephisto preaches; if I want it out, then out it shall be.

Feeling sweat starting to bead on my forehead, I grasp the small silver clasp that I borrowed from Bon when I first joined cram school last year and use it to pin my hair out of my face, wiping the back of my hand over my skin and pulling a face of distaste before rubbing it on my shirt. I then fall back into my chair, sighing loudly. In doing so, Yukio suddenly slams his pen down and my entire body jumps, a startled look spreading over my features as my eyes widen. And, when I focus my gaze on him, his eyebrow is twitching in irritation.

"Rin, if you're so hot, just go out for a freaking walk! I'm trying to mark these papers and I can't with your constant moaning!" Yukio yells, causing me to flinch in reaction. I've really pissed him off, haven't I? Scrabbling up from my seat, I quickly get to my feet before he can shout at me any more, though a pout riddles my lips.

"Well if you're gonna be an ass about it," I retort before spinning around on the spot and proceeding to exit before Yukio can respond, leaving him alone in that hellhole of a room. Then again, it's not like it's much cooler out here either; if anything, it's probably worse! The corridors are so stuffy and I can barely swallow my breaths without it feeling as if the air is clinging to my throat as it slips down to my lungs. I hate summer.

As I'm descending the steps, I have to quietly tread past a slumbering Kuro, his mouth hanging open whilst a little bit of drool dribbles from it. Though I crinkle my nose as if to say 'eww', I still crouch down to give him a small scratch behind his ear, smiling to myself when he begins purring in his sleep. I swear, if I didn't have him around most of the time to keep me company, I'd probably already be insane; as hard as it may be to believe, the differences that have developed between Yukio and I over the years has kinda made it more difficult to live with him. But it's not as if I mind; I have Kuro and he has his test papers. I guess we're both pretty happy is what I'm getting at.

Finally, I make it to the outside world, though I instantly want to retreat indoors when the heat hits me like a wave, the sun's unforgiving rays attacking my skin the second it's exposed to the light. Huffing, I roll my eyes and begin my walk towards town; perhaps I'll be able to get an ice-cream or something to cool off. Though it'll probably cost a shitload because the sellers are gonna have to make a profit somehow, using the weather to their advantage, I don't doubt that it'd be totally worth it in the end. Anything to rid myself of this stinging heat for at least a couple of minutes.

As I walk, I allow my mind to wander, my hands idly fiddling with the strap that holds my sword against my back, the coarse material rubbing on my skin, though I kinda just ignore it. Though it's only been about a week, I'm already missing everyone from cram school; they've all gone to Kyoto to visit Bon and Shima's families. I'd have gone with them, however, no matter how much I begged, Yukio refused to let me, stating that I needed to 'catch up with studying'. As if! He's just bummed because he couldn't go since he has mountains of work to do, meaning that he wouldn't have found the time. Even still, it pisses me off that he had to drag me down with him.

Sighing, I fold my arms as I enter town, soon becoming surrounded by swamping crowds until I begin to feel a little claustrophobic, people pushing me here and shoving me there just so that they can get past. It's like trying to walk around in a huge sardine can; everyone's so tightly packed together, it's nearly impossible to go anywhere without bumping into another person or stepping on their foot. And, given my record of being a clumsy idiot, I always manage to do a combination of both. Plus, to add to the already sweltering heat, the more people there are around me, the more my body warms up with my agitation. What does it take for a guy to get some personal space here?!

Since I'm so wrapped up in my own thoughts, I accidentally find myself colliding with yet another person, though this one is a little shorter than me, her forehead being forced against my chest upon impacting with me. Instantly, she backs up, her wide, magenta eyes sparkling in the sunlight whilst her sakura hair frames her round face in tight ringlets.

"S-Sorry! I lost my purse," she mutters quickly with a bow, an awkward laugh escaping from me as I nervously rub my nape, my cheeks taking on a pinkish tint. When I lower my hand, I shrug again, smiling kindly.

"It's no biggie. Do you need help looking?" I offer to her, thinking it's probably the only thing I can do to make up for walking right into her due to me not paying attention to my surroundings. Upon hearing my request, her eyes widen a little with what looks to be hope, her irises glimmering.

"Y-You'd do that?!" She gasps, a smile appearing on her features and bringing out a ghost of a dimple on her right cheek, something that causes my blush to deepen. Damn, she's really cute. However, I don't understand why she seems so shocked that I'm willing to do such a thing; I'm not _that_ intimidating am I? Nodding in response, she suddenly grabs my hand and begins pulling me through the crowds, my eyes scanning for the purse that this girl has lost. "My name's Shoki by the way," she mutters in that same cheerful ring, a smile tickling my lips as I realize that her name is pretty much as adorable as she is.

"Rin," I respond, Shoki turning around to face me, her salmon-coloured hair fanning out with the momentum until her glistening eyes are locked with mine, most likely able to make out my blushing cheeks. Well, there goes all of my dignity.

"Nice to meet you, Rin! I think I know where I might have dropped my purse!" Shoki suddenly exclaims, her face lighting up with realization, as if the whereabouts of her clearly treasured accessory has suddenly popped into her mind, enabling us to locate it. "But it's gonna be hard finding it," she mutters with a pout, confusion managing to dart onto my features for a few seconds before she pulls me towards exactly where it is that she's talking about, the narrow entrance to the back alleys staring me in the face. Frowning, I allow my eyes to investigate, wondering why she'd even go back there. Such a small and innocent girl such as her surely wouldn't find comfort in the creepy dwelling-place of demons, would she? Who knows; chicks these days have all kinds'a hobbies.

"I'm sure we can if we work together!" I reply, shoving all doubt out of my tone so that I can reassure her; I'm not about to be a downer by interrogating her about why she'd go near a dank place such as the back alleys. I guess I'm just going to have to accept it. Giggling a little with glee, confirming that I gave the right answer, she once again starts tugging on my arm, leading me down the winding passage.

* * *

An hour, yes an hour, passes and still no sign of this freaking purse. I've tried to stop myself from getting worked up about it; I was the one who offered to help in the first place, but this is just getting ridiculous! I'm hot, sweaty, and the humidity of these alleys is though the roof! I swear, trudging around back here is like trying to walk through water! Eventually, Shoki and I regroup, both of us clearly exhausted since we're both panting like crazy, sweat lining our skin. "I don't get it; we looked everywhere!" I breathe, rubbing the base of my neck as I frown, my eyes flickering down the several routes that branch off from our current position, wondering if there was something I missed. No, I'm pretty sure I checked every possible location, both high and low. This isn't making any sense. "I've been meaning to ask, though. Why would someone like you be hanging around a place like this?" The second I ask that question, everything changes.

All of a sudden, there's a hand pressed firmly against my throat, forcing my body up against the brickwork of the nearest building that constructs the pathway that we're down right now. Letting out a strained breath, my eyes flicker to meet with Shoki's, though what I see sends spikes of uncomfortable ice into my blood, chilling me in a way that I don't appreciate.

Glaring back at me, a pair of ebony eyes bearing flaring, crimson pupils rage, Shoki's face twisted into a sadistic grin as she squeezes my neck tighter, a strangled scream slipping free from my slightly ajar mouth. I can't breathe. She's suffocating me! I can't fucking breathe! Air. I need air now! The blood in my face begins to burn, pressure starting to increase by the second until it feels as if my head's going to explode. Dammit, I need to breathe!

All the while, Shoki just laughs as my legs flail around in an attempt to kick her away, hoping that she'll release me and I can gasp down the oxygen that I'm beginning to desperately require; my lungs are already searing, along with the rest of my body. How is she so freaking strong?! Soon enough, I'm unable to draw even the tiniest scrap of air into my system, my legs going limp as weakness gradually takes over my limbs, preventing me from fighting back in any way. Is this really how I'm gonna die? No! I'm not going to! My friends... If I'm ever gonna die, I need to say goodbye to them first! This isn't how I'm gonna go, no way!

The second I let my anger free, my body erupts into a flare of blue flames that attacks Shoki's arm, a demonic scream tearing from her as she releases me, my body tumbling to the ground whilst I let out a pained cry. As I'm busy trying to regain breath, my weak hands fumble with the clasp on my sheath, trying to free my sword so that I can fight this bitch and kill her before she gets to me first.

"Demon... I can't eat you," I hear Shoki spit, my stomach falling in on itself when she does. What does she mean 'eat'?! What the fucking hell is she?! Shaking my head to rid myself of that question, not wishing to waste any time at all, I finally unbuckle the final clasp, the crimson material falling away to expose the scabbard that houses Kurikara, my hand instantly ensnaring the hilt. True, I'm about to use my powers in public, however, I think it's kind of an emergency! However, before I can tug my blade free, a suddenly feel a slicing sensation tear through my torso, a few seconds passing before I release a scream of agony. And then comes the inability to breathe again. Collapsing onto my front, I start gasping like a fish that's been dragged out of water, desperately trying to claw some oxygen into my lungs. What has she done to me?!

It takes next to no time for my blood to begin pooling around me, insane laughter echoing off of the walls to counteract my shrieks of pain, though I'm soon silenced as I run out of breath to fuel my cries. I don't understand! What's happening to me?! Why can't I breathe?! "What's it like trying to breathe with one lung? I've always been curious. Hahahahahaha~!" Shoki giggles manically, my pulse speeding up rapidly whilst my eyes widen in terror.

Using every out of strength I can muster, I roll onto my back, gasping sharply as I'm no longer able to scream when my eyes track down to where her arm tore through my flesh. And, just as she implied, there's a hole punched right through where my left lung would be, blood tumbling from the wound that twists and tears to cause an unbearable amount of blinding agony. And, no matter how much I try, I can't seem to suck in enough air to satisfy my body, my throat already starting to tighten as my ability to take in the required amount of oxygen has been removed. I can't die... I can't! Not if that thing lives to kill others!

Though it's extremely difficult and causes me insane amounts of searing and torturous pain, I manage to grasp the hilt of my sword in my right hand, my eyes glaring at Shoki as she cackles with the laughter of a truly insane beast. If I'm gonna die, I'm taking her down with me! Knowing that, if I stop to think about it, I'll never be able to do it, I yank my blade free and waste no time in plunging it through her stomach with a strained cry.

I know that I've made my mark when I hear Shoki's screams of agony rip through the air, my flames raging around her and burning her to what is hopefully a crisp, though I'm unable to watch her meet her demise since, the second I'm satisfied that she's going to die a horrible and fiery death, I flop back again, my back roughly colliding with the harsh ground. So this is it, huh? After everything... After all the shit I've suffered, _this_ is how I'm going to die. All alone, choking to death on my own blood before anyone that I know or love will be able to find me. I'm all alone.

I wish I didn't have to be, but I guess I was stupid. Stupid enough to follow that vile creature down here whilst ignoring what all of my instincts were screaming at me. I'm such a damn idiot! If I had the strength, I'd hit my head against the floor, but I can't even manage to carry out that simple action; I'm completely paralyzed. My body refuses to respond to my commands, no matter how many times I issue them.

So here I lay, gasping as I bleed out on the cobbles, my breaths getting thinner and thinner as I desperately try to provide myself with necessary air. But it's useless; living with one lung is impossible. And, considering where I am, there's no hope that anyone's gonna save me. As my breathing gets faster, I let a tear slip from my eye, on final twist of agony ripping through me until my vision finally starts to blur out to black.

But not before I see a sudden flash of white through the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2: Beating Heart

_**A/N**_

 _ **I just finished my second exam out of nine today and I'm a very happy girl so I thought I'd write this whilst the good feeling lasted ^^ It ended a little earlier than I hoped for, but I still know what's going into next chapter so I guess it's fine :3 I won't keep y'all long; I know that some of ya want to read more of this story ASAP, so here it is :D**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _Beep._

Wh-What the heck? What is that; aren't I meant to be dead? I died... I'm pretty sure I bled to death. Didn't I?! So why can I hear the cold beeping of a machine that breathes out mechanical breaths and whirs all around me, my ears starting to pick out more and more noises that I shouldn't be hearing. If I'm dead, how am I listening? If I'm dead, how am I thinking?!

 _Beep._

Again, a single sound among silence flits around the surrounding air, which I begin to suck into my being, able to feel the oxygen swirling down my throat and into my chest, which rises as it fills up with what I desperately needed earlier. Though I can barely believe it, somehow, I'm alive. I managed to survive! But... How the heck did I escape from that; I had a hole blown through my lung and was left bleeding to death in the filthy back alleys where nobody would have any chance of finding me unless they'd been with Shoki and I. And nobody was; I never spotted another soul. So how the heck was I rescued?! More importantly... Who by?

Using my new-found breath, I release a low groan from the back of my throat, gritting my teeth together before finally allowing my eyes to break open. However, the second the light attacks them with a harsh, white glare, I force them shut again, the heels of my hands rubbing them as I sit myself up. As I do, I feel a sharp tugging on the inside of my forearm, my eyes tracking down so see a small tube sticking out of my skin, a needle fixed into my flesh, which is connected to a drip. Damn, I must've been super beaten up when they got me here. Whoever did.

"Hello?" I call out hoarsely, sounding more like a croak than anything, letting my eyes spring open once again when my stomach lets out a wail of hunger, my hands pressing themselves to my abdomen as I frown. Man, I'm so hungry, I think I could eat an entire person! Not literally! Don't freak out. "Hellooooo~?!" I yell a little louder, basically reaching the maximum volume that my lungs will allow, my entire chest aching unbelievably. It's like someone's tugging at my skin, making it feel all tight and stretched over my torso. Unlike with the first time, I actually get a response to my request for information, a pair of running footsteps echoing through the hallway until two people burst into my room, Yukio's eyes wide behind his glasses whilst Shiemi's glow with relief.

"You're awake!" They both exclaim, Shiemi darting over to me so that she can launch herself on me, though, when she does, I let out a pained yelp as several of my nerves twist in agony. "Shiemi!" Yukio cries out, tugging her off of me whilst she blushes with embarrassment, biting on her lip as her eyes find the floor.

"S-Sorry, Rin," she whimpers, already sniffling, small splatters of silver falling from her eyes, making me panic. Crap! I didn't mean to make her cry; that just hurt is all!

"A-Ah it's fine! You just surprised me!" I lie, laughing nervously as I rub my nape, though I find myself scowling as the tubes tug at my arm, tangling around me. As I go to take them out, Yukio grabs my wrist and shakes his head, encouraging a frown onto my face as I rest back in the bed again, wondering why he doesn't want me removing these annoying needles. "What?" I growl a little aggressively, only now realising how panicked Yukio's eyes look, worry darting around his turquoise irises, which seem to quiver in a way that I've only seen a few times in my life before.

"You're still... Recovering," he explains, my eyebrows pinching together as I study him, my eyes soon tracking to Shiemi, who's avoiding all eye contact. Just their body language is enough to make my stomach squirm with uneasiness.

"What're you talking about?" I snap, starting to get a little tired of having a secret kept from me, which is clearly what's going on right now; I've known Yukio forever so I've managed to learn how to read him like the books he loves so much. And, right now, there's something he isn't telling me. However, instead of Yukio admitting the truth to me, Shiemi leans forward and softly takes my hands in hers, my gaze flickering up to meet with her troubled one.

"Rin... You've been in a coma. For a month." The second she says those words, my chest tightens even more than it already has, my pulse steadily increasing until I can feel it thumping heavily in my neck. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I stare down at the sheets, frowning.

"I guess that beats being dead. But I'm starving!" I whine, trying to distract them from the negative emotions that are welling within me so that they don't see what they feared play out in front of them; they didn't tell me because they knew I'd react in the way that I am internally. So I won't make a face. I won't let them know how it's really affecting me.

"I'll go get you a burger," Yukio mutters softly, giving my shoulder a light push in a joking way that earns him a glare from me, a light chuckle sounding from him as he leaves. However, Shiemi stays put, studying me as if I'm a wild specemin that she wishes to figure out. Dammit! I wanted her to go with Yukio; how am I supposed to have my mini freak-out with her here?

"A whole month, huh..?" I breathe solemnly, tangling my hands together as I try to warm my heart up again; it seems to have chilled as the truth really hits home, causing the lump that I swallowed in my throat earlier to resurface, my teeth biting down on my bottom lip as I try to steady my breathing. A whole month of just... Nothing. I'm never gonna get it back. I know it's a harsh way of looking at things, but it just sucks knowing that I was just laying here doing nothing for a whole month when I could've been out fighting demons!

Shiemi doesn't reply; she just sets her lips into a straight line, also clasping her hands together whilst she just looks at me with pity in her eyes. I wish she wouldn't. "How was Kyoto?" I then ask, leaning back on my pillow with a sigh, locking my eyes with hers as they widen, clearly not expecting to be asked such a thing when I'm lying in a hospital bed after being saved from either bleeding or suffocating to death.

But she answers nonetheless and, for the entire time that we're waiting for Yukio to come back, she enthuses about the amazing buildings; the pretty settings; the culture; the people. Everything. It just makes me regret not going even more; if I did, I wouldn't be here. But I don't point that out to her, just in case she feels guilty for not dragging me there by my ear.

Just as she's concluding a story about how she accidentally spilled ice-cream all over Shima in front of his whole family, making him the laughing stock for the entire week, I hear Yukio entering, a little hope filling me when I see that he has my food settled neatly on a plate. Finally! I'm so damn hungry!

"One burger," he announces, placing the plate in front of me with a smile, receiving one in return, though it doesn't last very long since I waste no time in sinking my teeth into the sandwich of meat, lettuce and cheese. However, as I swallow, I notice that something's not right; this doesn't taste anything like a burger at all! It tastes-

"I'm gonna be sick," I whimper, cupping my hand to my mouth as I feel the food rising into my throat, Yukio only barely setting the small bin from the corner of the room in front of me before I throw what I just ate up, my body shuddering as I wretch a few times. "I can tell this is your cooking," I growl, hesitantly pulling away from the bin just in case I get another wave of nauseousness, my stomach aching whilst my throat burns.

"Hey, I got it from the canteen downstairs!" Yukio protests with a similar hostility, my eyes rolling as I place the bin back on the floor, swallowing the horrible taste in my throat. What the heck was that? I've never had that reaction to food before, even shitty canteen stuff! I can stomach practically anything! Maybe being in a coma for so long has messed up my body.

"Fine, I'll get myself something," I mutter, pushing the covers away from me and swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, detaching the tube from my arm with a wince as I feel the twist of the needle leaving my skin. And, though I feel a little dizzy, I steady myself with help from Yukio and Shiemi, who have probably given up trying to argue with me. However, I eventually shrug them off and set out looking for a vending machine or something. You can't go wrong with chocolate, right?

* * *

I'm just gonna say this right now: I was in a coma for a month, okay?! Which is why, when I try to get down the stairs, it proves a little more than difficult since my entire world decides to spin wildly, messing up my vision whenever I try to put one foot in front of the other. Is this what it's like being drunk? Because I _totally_ have no idea how that feels! And I guess my hunger doesn't help; I heard that it messes up your head if you don't eat for too long, which is just great.

However, eventually, I make it down the flight of stairs, feeling way more proud of myself than I should. Shrugging, I start scanning around for a vending machine, my eyes locating one not too far from here in what looks to be a waiting room of some kind. Man, this hospital's really small. And whose bright idea was it to put the wards _upstairs_?! Still, I stop worrying about the layout of the building when I approach the machine, fishing my hand into the pockets of my jeans, which Yukio had brought for me to change into just before I left; I wasn't about to go walking around in a mint-coloured gown that showed off my ass! I still don't understand why they're designed like that.

Slotting the coin into the machine, I press the button that will give me my favorite chocolate bar, which tumbles down to the small opening that I reach my hand into to grab it, smirking to myself in anticipation. It's not exactly healthy and it won't fill me up, but it's better than anything, right? Well, those were my thoughts when I was unwrapping it. But the second I gulp down a chunk of it, just like with the burger, it instantly rises to my throat again, partnered by the bile that I vomit into the closest bin, getting disgusted looks from a few of the people around me. It's not like it's my fault! My body's acting weird!

Before I can even get up from my doubled-over position, I feel a hand suddenly land on my shoulder, my entire body jolting up whilst I cry out a yelp, though I calm down a little when I see who's after my attention. But only slightly. With an amused grin on his face, Mephisto bows once, that freaky purple curl on his head tickling my nose as he does, enough so that I sneeze a little under my breath. Kinda like a cat. "Mephisto? What're _you_ doing here?" I ask, frowning as he straightens out again, re-positioning his top-hat so that it's centered, a smirk playing on his lips whilst the constant look that I can never understand swirls inside his eyes.

"I want to speak to you," he replies simply, as if it was obvious, my head tilting to the side whilst the frown on my face just deepens; if he wanted to talk to me, couldn't it have waited? I mean, it's not like I plan on staying here any longer than I have to, really. Then again, if he's gone as far as to pester me, even in hospital, then it's gotta be important. With a simple shrug, I follow behind him as he leads me down through the twisting corridors, humming to himself as he does. Freaking weird ass clown.

* * *

Eventually, we stop at a perfectly normal-looking door, however, Mephisto then pulls out one of his keys and inserts it into the lock, twisting it before flinging the door open with such a force, I flinch, expecting it to crash into the wall. I'm not surprised to see his office before me, taking a few cautious steps through the door-frame until I'm on the other side, Mephisto promptly following before gently tugging the door to a close. Sitting down, I watch as he swirls around his desk, his ivory cape fanning out with the motion, though it's halted when he places himself on his seat, staring at me with that unreadable look. "How're you feeling? A month in a coma must be pretty rough," he inquires, my hand running itself through my hair as I roll my shoulders into a shrug.

"Fine, I guess. Apart from I haven't stopped throwing up-"

"-Whenever you eat something?" As soon as he finishes my sentence for me, I feel my nerves freeze up, my eyes widening a little whilst my stomach contracts, nervousness already taking over me. How did he know I was gonna say that?

"Yeah. But how-"

"-I thought as much," Mephisto mutters, as if to himself, smirking a little as he places his finger to his bottom lip like he's just heard a piece of good news, though I'm too busy freaking out on the inside. Does he know what's going on with me?

"How? Do you know what's wrong?" I ask rapidly, my worry taking possession of my actions, my body leaning forward a little in my chair as if it'll bring me closer to finding out why I can't stomach a single thing I eat. Chuckling a little, Mephisto sighs, taking his hat off and placing it on his desk before standing, his gaze not upon me, but instead wandering towards the world outside the window.

"That I do. You were brought back here by a white-haired chap who seemed concerned about you for some unknown reason. I didn't recognize him but I thanked him nonetheless before he disappeared. I noticed the damage that had been caused and I got you to the hospital ward instantly, where they were conferring about a girl that had been found in the alleys. They were saying that she'd died from a stomach wound made by a blade, burn marks all over her body. You wouldn't happen to know about that, would you?" Laughing nervously, I rub the back of my neck, shrinking into my seat a little as a blush spreads onto my cheeks.

"She wasn't human, Mephisto! She was... I don't even-"

"-She was a being known as a ghoul. You've been taught about them in cram school but I doubt you were conscious during the lesson. But back to my story. When the doctors took you in, they knew that you'd need to have a lung transplant as the damage was too great for them to fix. So they did exactly that, as well as gave you a blood transfusion," he explains, nothing but confusion filling me the more I listen.

"That still doesn't explain why I can't eat anything without puking," I state, irritation clear in my tone since I'm tired of him beating around the bush. It'd be nice if he just hurried up and said it! Turning around, he no longer has any look of amusement on his face; it's been replaced with a threatening, dark aura that chills my nerves, my bottom lip being nibbled by my teeth as panic bristles at my insides.

"Let me be clear. Ghouls are creatures that are born unable to digest human food. An attempt to do so will cause them to be sick, ridding their bodies of the unwanted substances. They diet only on flesh. Human flesh, specifically." At his words, fear slams into me almost as quickly as the air turns into compressed bricks that are impossible to gulp down. What's he inferring?! I'm a demon, not a ghoul! How the heck could I possibly be one? The simple answer is that I'm not; it's just impossible! I could never... I could never eat _people_! Just the thought is disgusting!

"What're you-"

"-The girl you met in those alleys, the one who destroyed your lung, was a ghoul. Her organs were also the only ones on hand when you were in need of the transplant." He's not making sense; why does it matter if her organs were the only ones that they had? How does that make any difference to _me_ in any way?!

"I don't get it. Why does it even matter?!" I yell, admittedly having my actions controlled by terror as I slam my hands down on the table, gritting my teeth until it feels as if they're going to break. Instead of giving me a verbal reply, Mephisto beckons me over to the window, the inky sky that marks nighttime being all that I can see, save for the twinkling lights of the town.

Hesitantly, I take a couple of steps around his desk before I'm stand next to him, my hands shaking for some unknown reason. And, when I look upon the glass, the darkness allows my face to be reflected back at me, my right eye swallowed in black whilst my pupil burns crimson against an ebony background.


	3. Chapter 3: Everything Has Changed

_**A/N**_

 _ **In case you weren't already aware, I'm trying to name most of these chapters after songs x'D The lyrics don't apply to the chapters, but they're song titles and I wanna take this up as some kind of challenge :D**_

 _ **CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!**_

 _ **But anyhoo, ya this chapter's up quick but meh... I got bored :3 Soooo**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

Staggering back with a sharp gasp, I find myself colliding with Mephisto's desk, which I grip onto with such a force, I manage to crush the wood completely, the splinters littering my palm whilst I struggle to hold in a scream. My eye... It's just like Shoki's! Does that mean... Does that mean I've become what she is?! Did me taking her organs and blood change me into a ghoul?! This doesn't make any sense!

"But I'm not... I-I can't be! I'M NOT!" I cry out, my eyes beading with fearful tears whilst my hands just tremble uncontrollably, my entire body shivering with terror towards what I've just seen. "There's no way," I whimper, not breaking my eyes away from my petrified reflection and the single ghoul eye that glares back at me, as if it's taunting me. Mocking me.

Unable to take it any more, before Mephisto can even hope to try and calm me down, I'm out of his office in a heartbeat, my legs carrying me through the hallways of True Cross at such a fast pace, all that surrounds me is jumbled blurs. Above my panting, I hear ominous thunder start to roll overhead when I finally break outside, already burning up and out of breath. But I still push myself, ignoring the dizziness that I'm beginning to feel from the lack of nutrition that I've had during the month that I've been in a coma. The month I spent changing into even more of a monster than I already am.

Only when rain starts lashing down from the sky in freezing veils of water do I realize that my cheeks are already sodden from my own tears, both the warm and cold liquids mixing together to completely soak my features in a sorrowful, silver hue. Despite the weather deciding to attack me head-on, I pump my legs to go faster, desperate to escape from here and the truth that awaits me at every mirror. From now on, I never want to see my reflection again. I don't think I'd be able to bear the torture.

In all honesty, I don't know where I'm going in the slightest; the storm's blinding me as it teams up with my tears to completely obscure my vision, though I still keep running, as if I'll escape the truth if I do. As another rumble rolls overhead, I flinch a little since my head is already pounding without the addition of any other sounds, the clapping of the thunder tearing through my skull.

Eventually, my legs start going rigid, desperate for rest whilst my body aches with exhaustion, begging me for just a second to stop and catch my breath. The second I notice the pain of the ringing tightness that constricts my limbs, I collapse to my knees, my jeans instantly becoming sodden from the rainwater that's pooled on the ground surrounding me. I must be in the town; there's the feeling of solid cobbles below my legs, which complain about the exertion that I've put them through, though I'm focusing more on the way that my heart seems to contract with every breath I draw.

"Why me? Why did this happen to me? My life has always been hell from the second I was born. So why...? WHY WAS I TURNED INTO A GHOUL?!" I scream into the storm, nothing but a flash of lightening cracking open the midnight sky in an ivory streak replying to me, though I'm too absorbed in my own sobs to acknowledge it, my emotions tearing into thousands of pieces within the space of just a few seconds. I just don't understand. It's not fair! It wasn't enough that I had to be the freaking son of Satan; I'm being punished again for a crime that I didn't commit. "What did I do wrong?" I whimper, hanging my head so that one of my tears can shatter against the puddle of silver that I'm kneeling in, appearing as broken as I feel inside.

"You did nothing wrong. Fate's just a cruel force that enjoys ripping lives apart," a voice responds, my head snapping up instantly whilst a gasp catches in my throat, my gaze falling upon the slender figure that stands before me, his features smudged by my tears. Swallowing, I grit my teeth, getting to my feet and turning my back to him; I can't let him pity me. I don't want to be treated like I'm broken, even if that's exactly what I am.

"Leave me alone," I growl with hostility thick in my tone, tightening my hands into fists, though they weakly tremble from both the way that my body's shaking and the cold that's lashing at me in silver bullets that rain down from the sky.

"I can help you," he says softly, urging me to mechanically turn around, my glare fixing with his face as I brush the tears from my eyes, allowing me to study him a little better. And the first thing I notice is his snowy-white hair, matching up to the description that Mephisto gave me of the stranger that took me back to True Cross. Despite what's happened to me, without him, I'd be dead. But now I'm a ghoul; a vile creature who's only able to consume human flesh in order to satisfy its hunger.

"I don't need your help!" I spit, the guy before me not even flinching in the slightest, as if he expected me to lash out. How the fuck would he be able to do anything?! He can't possibly understand how this feels. Without verbally replying, he brings up his hand, sliding it under the eye patch that's fixed over his left eye, tugging it away from his face to reveal what lies underneath. And, when he does, I feel a lump form in my throat when I'm met with what I saw in my reflection, his eye exactly how mine looked. Is he... Is he like me?

"You're hungry, aren't you?" He suddenly asks, my nerves going rigid whilst I bite down on my lip, trying to ignore the empty growling of my stomach that's screaming 'yes' at me. However, I keep my mouth shut, refusing to answer as I look away. "You don't have to lie to me. It's clear from the way your kakugan's active that you're craving flesh," he explains, my eyebrows furrowing into a frown at his words. Kakugan? What the heck's that?!

"Who the hell are you?" I inquire in a harsh voice, narrowing my eyes as he extends a hand towards me, smiling softly as he treats me exactly how I don't want him to. Like I'm nothing more than a shattered child.

"My name's Kaneki. And I wanna help you," he murmurs kindly, my eyes flickering between his hand and his now silver-coloured eyes, the element that gave away what he really is cloaking itself from view. I want to feel surprised that that's possible, however, I suspected nothing of Shoki when she first asked me to help her. She just seemed like an sweet, innocent girl. That's the last time I make that mistake again.

"I'm not gonna hold your hand!" I protest, throwing my head to the side with a pout, sternly folding my arms whilst Kaneki gently chuckles, pushing his wet hair away from his eyes so that he can see, though some of it gets tangled on his eyelashes. Damn... They're long.

"Whatever you prefer. But you're going to need to eat," he explains, my heart instantly going hollow as he does; I know what he's inferring. I'm a ghoul now. All I can eat is...

"No. I won't-"

"-You don't have to kill anyone."

"That's not the point! I can't eat a human! It's wrong! It's disgusting!" I argue, the perfectly timed thunder growling over my head as if in agreement, my teeth gritting together in defiance. There's no way I'm going to eat human flesh. I don't care if I go hungry. I don't care if it kills me! I'm not doing it.

"If you don't, you'll starve. And, from experience, it's agony. But it doesn't matter how strong your will is; eventually, you'll crack. Wouldn't you rather eat now knowing you're not hurting anyone or lose it and kill an innocent person?" Why does he have to know how to get through to me after only seconds of knowing me? I don't care about myself, however, when innocent people get involved, I can't just allow them to get hurt. And, if he's telling the truth, then a day will come when I won't be able to control myself. With a heavy heart, I swallow a deep breath before fixing my eyes with his.

"Alright."

* * *

"No way, Kaneki," I hiss at him after we stop at where he's led me to, being a place that I can barely look at without having my internal organs squirm uncomfortably, shivers racing up my spine since my nerves are tingling with a horrible feeling that I don't appreciate at all. Lying before us, littered on the ground like a rag doll, is the body of a young girl, probably around my age, her chocolate hair fanning around her head in a puddle of chestnut that stains the floor, though blood oozes from her skull. Placing my knuckles to my lips, I shake my head, backing away a little. "I can't. I-I just can't," I whimper, my arms staring to tremble a little as my eyes refuse to break away from her lifeless ones, which are staring off in front of her with a dead gaze that turns my stomach.

"I know it's awful, but you have to." Though Kaneki's trying to ease me into this whole ghoul thing, I can't help but oppose this idea. It's just wrong; her body doesn't deserve to be ripped apart by my teeth! How the heck can I just feed off of her flesh and then proceed to act as if it's perfectly normal?! After a slight pause, I turn away, shaking my head.

"No. I can't do it," I state solidly, curling my hands into fists until my nails are digging into my palms, causing an ache to run up to my wrist as I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to do anything I can to avoid looking at her again. I don't care if she's already dead. I don't care if it'll satisfy this hunger that's tugging at my insides to the point where it physically hurts. I won't eat her flesh.

"Fine. If you won't do it, then I'll just have to give you a little push," Kaneki growls, clearly irritated by my stubbornness already, which I can't blame him for. Still, I act as if I didn't hear him, holding my ground as I work on keeping my resolve strong, even though I'm slightly intimidated. Just how does he plan to do that? "Just don't spit it out," he then orders, causing me to be unable to hold this ignorant pose any longer. Frowning, I go to turn back to him, opening my mouth to ask him just what the neck he's talking about. However, before I can, I suddenly feel his lips locking with my own, a startled whimper coming from me as he presses our mouths together.

Instantly, my heart pounds furiously, my hands instinctively gripping onto his shoulders as I allow my mouth to open a little, accepting the kiss. But the second I do, I feel liquid snake onto my tongue, the metallic essence that partners blood lacing over my taste-buds.

Knowing that I'm going to try and break away to spit it out before I can consume any of the blood that Kaneki's forcing into my mouth, most likely stolen from the corpse of the girl, his hands clamp around my arms, preventing me from going anywhere at all. He's not letting me go until I accept the blood, is he? Squeezing my eyes shut and grasping onto Kaneki's shirt, my hands bundling into fists, I reluctantly swallow, feeling the crimson liquid swirl down my throat. It's cold. Blood isn't supposed to be cold.

Once he's sure that I've consumed it all, Kaneki finally breaks away, leaving me gasping for breath whilst I rub my wrist against my mouth, feeling the wetness that rests below my bottom lip. And, though I try to, I can't hold in the terrified gasp that hitches in my throat when my eyes lock with the ruby substance that stains the skin of my hand. However, though I expect to be repulsed, I feel warmth in my stomach, eagerness causing me to connect my eyes with the body of the girl whilst a certain desire gradually takes over me. Her blood... Why did it taste so good?

Not being able to help myself, I sink my teeth into her arm, tearing through her flesh with unbelievable ease until chunks are coming away each time I rip away at the limb. And, once my mouth's full, blood leaking down the side of my face from the corner of my lip, I swallow the chunk of flesh, not hesitating in taking another bite. And another. And another. Why do I find it so satisfying? Why is her flesh making me feel stronger? "Better?" Kaneki questions softly, his breathing still a little heavy whilst he works his tongue over his lips, removing any of the blood that stains it whilst I just let it drip freely down my face.

"Much," I reply after swallowing the final hunk of flesh that I'm willing to eat, pulling away from her body and getting to my feet again, beginning to pant as I finally take a breath. It was disgusting and horrible but at least I'm no longer suffering the effects of hunger, my stomach satisfied with the flesh that I've been provided with. Smiling a little, Kaneki casts a quick glace towards the body of the girl and I frown, following his gaze. "You gonna eat?" I ask, his head instantly snapping away again whilst he deliberately avoids eye-contact with me, his fingers gradually forming fists.

"N-No. Come on, there's somewhere I wanna take you. It'll be easier to help you there than it will here," he explains, though I'm still wondering why he acted so strange the second I asked him about taking the girl's flesh just like he'd forced me to. Still, I decide not to question it, accepting the change in subject.

"Where?" I question with a frown, peering at Kaneki's eyes as he locks them with my own, his glinting in the moonlight now that the rain has ceased its assault on us, the stars twinkling in his irises.

"I'm taking you to Tokyo."


	4. Chapter 4: Tokyo

_**A/N**_

 _ **So yeah, I literally wrote this the second I finished Chapter 3 x'D But I decided to leave it a day to upload it because, well, it's always nice to have a chapter on the side if you're behind on updates. And I'm not, but still :3**_

 _ **Anyhoo, I'll let you read . (Yes, Tokyo is a song by Owl City just to clarify)**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

"Woah!" I gasp as I step out of the train station with Kaneki right by my side, my lips tugged up into an astounded smile as I allow my eyes flicker around the hundreds of building that tower around us, unable to contain my wonder. "You really live here?!" I exclaim, unable to believe that this is real; I've kinda always wanted to come to central Tokyo before but never really had the chance to do so. And damn, it's freaking amazing!

"Uh huh. Sure do! You get used to the size," Kaneki chuckles, seemingly unable to stop smirking a little bit every time he takes a look at my face, which is constantly turning in different directions to take everything in. I don't want to get used to it; this feeling of being completely surrounded by a concrete jungle honestly fills me with a sense of elation that I can't really describe. What can I say? I love the city. However, as we start walking to where we're to catch the bus to Kaneki's place, I suddenly stop, Kaneki shooting me confused glance as I do. "What's up?" He asks, following my silent command as I beckon him over with my finger. When he's beside me, I lean a little closer to him so that no-one will hear us.

"Does that mean you're a Tokyo ghoul?" I say, Kaneki giggling and rolling his eyes, pushing me away from him with a playful shove, encouraging laughter out of me as well. "What~? It's a genuine question!" I protest with a pretend pout, though a smile instantly breaks through it when Kaneki's features fall into a false unimpressed scowl as he shakes his head. Nibbling on my bottom lip, I take my place next to him as we start walking again.

After I ate, I kinda let myself start to focus on all the smaller things that I missed when my hunger was all I could think about. Like the way Kaneki's lips felt. Don't judge me! I'm not saying I enjoyed the kiss or anything; it wasn't even that. He was just forcing me to drink blood. There's a difference. I'm just saying that his lips are super soft is all! I dunno what's up with me; usually I'd never even think about making out with a guy. But, earlier, I just... Didn't want to pull away.

"Earth to Rin!" Kaneki's voice fades back into my consciousness, my eyes blinking a few times to snap myself out of my thoughts, only to find Kaneki staring at me with a frown on his face and a pout on his lips. Okay, I need to stop thinking about them.

"What?" I snap a little aggressively, though he doesn't seem to mind, pulling himself away and tilting his head to look upwards at the clouds, my eyebrows furrowing together. He's different, but not exactly in a bad way.

"Nothing. You just zoned out," he replies simply, still staring at the cerulean sky overhead, the sun shining proudly at its peak like a golden pendulum, teasing through any clouds that dare to float over it. Sighing to myself since he's being a bit of a hypocrite, I shove my hands in my pockets and keep my eyes forward. Well... Eye. Yeah, before we got on the train, Kaneki gave me his eye patch to hide what's apparently called a kakugan, which is when my eye goes all ghoulish. And I'm glad; whereas he knows how to control it and keep it hidden, I'm not so good at that yet. So, eye patch it is.

However, though my vision's limited, I'm able to see the person that Kaneki's about to walk directly into, my hand instantly seizing his as I give his arm a rough tug, yanking him out of the way whilst he lets out a startled yelp. And, just to be even more of a klutz, he trips up on his own feet and falls right into me, both of us toppling to the ground in a mangled heap that draws more attention than I'd like.

"Who zoned out then?" I tease, Kaneki glaring at me before getting to his feet, holding his hand out for me to take so that I can get up again, my fingers gingerly slipping into his. He then pulls me up off of the ground before going to dust himself down, me doing the same, nudging him gently in the side as I giggle, though he still acts pissed off with me. "Kanekiii~!" I whine, leaning into his view with a cheeky grin on my face, one that he can't help but smirk at, causing a few giggles to slip from me.

"You're so immature," he comments, poking my cheek whilst I respond with more laughter, going back to my normal position as we carry on walking down the sidewalk, just looking ahead in silence. Well this is boring. Seriously, a few seconds of not talking really winds me up; I hate not doing anything. However, I think Kaneki's still a little mad at me; I know how awkward it feels looking like an idiot in public. But it wasn't may fault! I saved him from bumping into that stranger so he should be thanking me!

Still, I keep my lips shut, glancing at him from the corner of my eye, watching as the look of thought once more clouds over his irises, something that I've noticed happens a lot when we're not conversing. I wonder what he thinks about. Then my eyes track down to his hand, which just hangs by his side, a random urge to hold it taking over me. What the fuck? Jeez my head's messed up! I don't even know him... Not really. All I know is that, right now, he's the only person I trust with my life.

"So... Where d'you live?" I ask, desperate for some idle chit-chat to keep my mind off of whatever it's wandering to whenever I let myself look at him. With a small 'hmm?' sound, Kaneki's gaze is attracted towards mine, as if he's only just acknowledged that I asked him a question. He then redirects his eyes forward, a slight scowl knitting over my features as he does. Would it kill him to look at me when he's talking?

"Not far," he replies simply, irritation filling me because his reply was probably as blunt as boring as possible! Why isn't he talking to me? Did I really make him _that_ mad that he's just ignoring me now? "But that's not where we're going," he then states, my head now mentally counting how many syllables he's using to see if he's deliberately sticking to short replies. 7 syllables.

"Where're we going?" I question, tilting my head to the side a little, though he doesn't even glance my way, his hands slipping into his pockets whilst he shrugs, my lips pressing themselves into a line that shows how annoyed I'm getting.

"A coffee shop," he says in a monotone voice, being way too vague for my liking. I don't understand him; one minute, he's all happy and jokey, and then he's suddenly acting as if I just shot his friend or something! Maybe he's bipolar.

"Did I do something to piss you off?" I suddenly growl, too wound up to ask politely any more; I don't want him ignoring me! As stupid as it sounds since I only just met the guy, I really wanna be friends with him. I don't want us to be nothing but student and master as he teaches me how to control my new 'ghoul instincts'. But if he's gonna put up barriers left right and center whenever I mess up even in the slightest, then how will we we ever reach anything more? Maybe he doesn't want to, though that's difficult to believe since we've been getting on well up until now. Turning his head in my direction, Kaneki frowns a little, as if what I've just said has made no sense at all.

"What? No! I'm just thinking and I kinda get lost in my own head sometimes," he admits with a chuckle, my shoulders slackening as confusion fills me, Kaneki just laughing at my clearly perplexed face. "Sorry," he says, nudging me with his shoulder, that confused look erasing itself from my features as I smile, shaking my head whilst I nervously rub my nape. Well, at least he's not giving me the silent/'1-10 syllables in a sentence' treatment.

"So we're going to a coffee shop?" I ask, stretching my arms out with a yawn, pacing my hands behind my head as we walk, Kaneki bobbing his head into a nod, a sigh slipping from me. "I hate coffee," I grumble under my breath with a frown, sticking my lip out into a pout, acting like a spoiled brat. But hey, the truth's the truth.

"Trust me, Anteiku does the best coffee around. You won't be able to resist," he says somewhat eerily, a shudder running through me as his tone freaks me out. Uh... Can I still opt to stay at True Cross?

* * *

After several bus journeys, including an awkward encounter where some American guy tried to talk to me and I just had to nod and shake my head when it looked appropriate because I had no idea what he was saying, we finally get off at a stop that Kaneki states is only a short walk away from the coffee shop that he intends to take me to. As we walk, the trees that line the sidewalk rustle gently in the breeze, the sunlight splattering on Kaneki's face whenever he turns to talk to me.

At one point, he's mid-smile when we happen upon a spot where there's a break in the trees, casting a glow onto him so that his hair alone nearly blinds me. I need to stop letting my thoughts run away whenever I don't pay attention to what's coming out of Kaneki's mouth when he speaks; I'm always too busy analyzing different things. His facial expressions. His body language. The rise and fall of tone in his voice when he talks about different subjects. It's kinda fascinating really.

It doesn't really take us too long to get to Anteiku, Kaneki leading me up a small flight of stairs into the petite cafe, though I can't help but smirk a little when the humbleness of the shop makes me feel at home. Is that weird to say? However, the second I realize that I'm in a place that I've never been to before where I'm not going to know anyone, I start acting all shy, hiding behind Kaneki but not enough for him to notice.

"Touka-chan! I'm back!" Kaneki calls, taking a few steps into the shop, which currently doesn't have any customers, which doesn't surprise me since it's a Sunday, meaning that they're probably closed for the day. Either that or hardly anyone knows about it. Though he doesn't get a response right away, eventually, a girl with vibrant, indigo hair steps out from the back, her hands on her hips as she scowls.

"Took you long enough!" She spits, my body flinching a little as I take a single step back, cowering behind Kaneki like a scared kid. However, her eyes follow me, a frown knitting onto her eyebrows before he redirects her glare back towards Kaneki. "This him?" She asks, my head poking over Kaneki's shoulder at the mention of me; how could she be expecting me to show up? Then, I instantly feel like a dumbass when I remember that a little thing called a cell phone exists. He probably phoned ahead to warn her that he was bringing a guy like me to such a sweet place like this. I feel so out of place yet I couldn't feel more at home. It's strange.

"Uh huh. Is Yoshimura-san in? I need to talk to him," Kaneki inquires, the look of confusion on my face deepening as he starts using the names of people that I don't know, something that intimidates me a little. Instead of replying, the girl, Touka, gives a simple nod, pointing towards the back with one flick of her wrist, Kaneki making his way towards where she's indicated for him to go. However, as I walk behind him, Touka randomly puts her arm out in front of me, halting me right away.

"H-Hey! Why can't I go with him?" I whine, Kaneki looking back and breathing a laugh before disappearing from sight, most likely going to talk to the guy I don't know whilst I'm forced to wait here with a girl I also don't know. How could he just abandon me like that?!

"Because you're gonna help me out. Shop opens in five. Get your uniform on," she growls at me with hostility thick in her tone as she tosses me a neatly-folded pile of clothes, which I barely manage to catch. Looking down, I allow my jaw to slacken, unable to believe this. I'm gonna kill Kaneki!

"I HAVE TO WORK?!"


	5. Chapter 5: Coffee's For Closers

_**A/N**_

 _ **Fall Out Boy FTW :D**_

 _ **Sorry... But that song is fabulous :3 Anyhoo, here's yet another chapter that I wrote yesterday but decided to hold back until today...**_

 _ **Yup**_

 _ **I was busy today buying even more Attack on Titan posters (I have three now and my walls are now full of anime posters ._. I have an addiction I swear to God)**_

 _ **But whatever keeps me happy... Right?**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V**_

"Ah, Kaneki-kun. I gather you managed to carry out what I'd asked of you," Yoshimura-san's wise and aged voice sounds softly from the other side of the room as I hesitantly take a few steps into it, clasping my hands behind my back until I have to part them to push the door to a close. He beckons for me to take a seat and I comply right away, placing myself down whilst he slides a mug in my direction, my fingers curling around the handle so that I can bring it to my lips.

"Yeah. But I still don't understand why you sent me in the first place. I mean, I know it's a good thing I was there, but was that really by chance?" I can't help but wonder that each time I allow my mind to stray; he'd told me to visit True Cross Academy but never said why. And, though it was lucky that I was around when I was so that I could save Rin from death, it just seems to all fit together way too well to be nothing more than mere coincidence. However, it's not like Yoshimura-san can see into the future; there was no way he could've known what was going to happen to Rin. Just thinking about it makes my head hurt.

"It was requested of me by an old friend. That's all I'm able to say as it's all I know. I'm unsure of why he asked for me to send you, however, that's to do with him. It has nothing to do with me." Frowning, I curl my lip over the rim of the mug, sipping at the coffee inside it whilst I try to think of who he could be talking about. He's still being vague; who's this 'old friend' he's talking about? For some reason, my mind jumps to that guy I took Rin back to after I found him near death in that alley. I only think of him because, when I did, he looked as if he... I don't know. Expected it?

Allowing silence to settle, we both just kinda stare down at our mugs, my eyes being reflected back at me through the mahogany-coloured liquid, the look of uneasiness clear in my gaze. Something just doesn't feel right. I don't want to say that I feel as if whoever called Yoshimura-san intended for Rin to go through what he did, however, I just can't shake the feeling that that's the case. Maybe I'm thinking too far into it. Perhaps it really was just all an accident. A coincidence.

"So what're we gonna do? With Rin I mean. I can tell he's in pain 'cause every time he smiles or laughs, the look never leaves his eyes. But he refuses to admit it," I explain, running my hand through my hair as I sigh, getting agitated just thinking about it. I know Rin barely knows me, however, I just wish he'd open up to me. Show some sign of negativity. I don't like being lied to.

"Well I think it's obvious that you're the only one he's going to trust, Kaneki-kun. For now, I suggest you and him stay by one another." As Yoshimura-san suggests this, I nod in agreement, finishing off my coffee as I prepare to stand, stretching myself out a little. "As for you... How are you?" He asks, my entire body freezing up a little whilst my gaze flits away, my fingers curling around my chin as I shrug.

"I'm fine," I mutter bluntly, knowing that he's probably not going to believe me but also sure that there's no way he'll question me either. As expected, he doesn't say a word, setting down his mug as he crosses his legs.

"I see that Rin isn't the only one hiding emotions," he states simply, my eyes rolling whilst I shrug, trying to act like his words aren't having any effect on me. Shaking my head, I drop my hand to my side again, turning my back to him.

"I'm not hiding anything," I somewhat spit before making my way out of the room, though I'm stopped by one last sentence from Yoshimura-san, one that takes the entire subject of _my_ well-being away, thankfully.

"Perhaps it would be wise to allow Rin to stay in your apartment," he murmurs cooly, causing me to whirl around with widened eyes, unable to believe he just suggested that! I can't let Rin stay with me; what would everyone think?!

"But... I can barely fit myself in there! Isn't there somewhere else he can go?" Though it sounds like I'm begging, I don't really care; what I'm saying is the truth! My apartment's tiny, which is an understatement; my room barely houses my bed and there's probably only just space for my couch. How the heck are we going to make that work? Chuckling to himself, Yoshimura-san brings his mug to his lips again, probably to drink the rest of his coffee.

"I think we can both agree that he's going to need you to help him. It's logical to have him by your side at all times." Placing my head in my palm, I sigh because I know that he's right. It makes perfect sense to keep Rin around me 24/7 so his ghoul side doesn't prompt him to run away for a midnight snack without anyone around to hear him leave.

"Alright. I'll take him in!" I exclaim with a growl to my voice, letting my shoulders drop along with my hand after I've pushed my hair away from my eyes, which I roll out of irritation. Isn't this going to be fun; who knows how long it will take before Rin's tame enough to go back to True Cross? Still, I guess having him around wouldn't be _too_ bad. I could use the company and I really seem to enjoy his.

After watching a small smile form over Yoshimura-san's face, I turn my back and exit from the room, only to hear a sharp yelp sound from down the hallway, coming directly from the shop. And it sounded like Rin! Increasing my pace a little, I find myself running back to where I left him, however, I have to hold in my laughter when I realize what's really happened, as well as that it wasn't anything worth worrying about as much as I did.

Curled up on a chair in the corner, Rin has his knees pressed to his chest whilst his hand cradles his cheek, small whimpers coming from him as he just stares as Touka-chan, who has an extremely pissed off look on her face. That explains the redness that's blossoming over the right side of Rin's face. "Urm... What happened?" I ask, though my voice shudders with laughter, causing Rin to shoot a glare at me, as if this is _my_ fault. Then again, I _did_ leave him and Touka-chan alone in a room together. In all honesty, I'm surprised that all of the furniture's still in tact; with Rin's attitude and Touka's temper, it's a miracle nobody was seriously hurt whilst I was gone.

"That bastard refused to do what I told him so I gave him what he deserved!" Touka-chan spits, shooting daggers at Rin with her eyes over my shoulder, my hands pressed against her shoulders to hold her back from wringing out his neck. I'm pretty sure that, if I hadn't gotten here at the moment I did, Rin would either be dead or close to it.

"Chill, Touka-chan. I'll talk to him," I assure her softly, her anger seeming to subside a little since she knows that I'm probably the only one Rin's going to listen to. To be fair, I _did_ leave him in the presence of a total stranger from his perspective. So I guess this is my fault, in a way. Sighing, she whirls around and heads back towards the counter whilst I make my way over to Rin, who just glowers at me. It's not like I can blame him.

"She started it!" He wails before I can even open my mouth, defending himself right away by blaming someone else just like a child would. Breathing a laugh whilst I shake my head, I gently place myself down in the seat next to him, leaning into his view when he tries to look away from me. "I told her I'd break something if she made me work and she slapped me!" Rin then exclaims, clearly unaware of the fact that you don't refuse to follow an order that Touka-chan gives to you. Still, he's new here so I can't exactly blame him. Smirking, I nudge his shoulder playfully, that pout on his lips eventually breaking.

"She might seem bitchy, but she's really kind underneath the tough exterior," I explain, though Rin just rolls his eyes as if to say 'yeah yeah', so I drop it, folding my arms as I lean back in my chair. "Oh, by the way, I think you should come live at my place whilst you learn to control your ghoul side," I explain, watching as Rin redirects his eyes onto me, a frown of confusion gradually painting itself over his features, though it soon cracks when he realizes what I'm inferring.

"So I guess True Cross is a no go then," he sighs, twirling his thumbs around one another, though they soon start fumbling with the black strap that's fixed across his chest, keeping what must be a sword fastened against his back in a crimson cloth. I wonder why he carries it around with him everywhere. Nodding, I place a hand on his shoulder, able to imagine how hard it must be for him knowing that he can't go home. With the way that he is now, he's going to end up hurting or maybe even killing someone if I'm not around to look out for him; I can stop him. His human friends wouldn't have that luxury.

"Not until you're completely under control," I say, Rin hanging his head to stare at the floor, looking as if he's in deep thought. That's a first. "But hey, Tokyo's not all that bad. Once you look past the huge population of ghouls, it's actually a pretty amazing place," I enthuse with a slight laugh, trying my hardest to pull Rin out of the clear sadness he's suffering. Still, at least he's not keeping all of his emotions under a blanket of happiness any longer, though I'm not sure what I prefer. Sadness is an ugly truth and happiness is a beautiful lie. It's difficult to decide which is best. However, at my words, Rin lifts his head up, a somewhat startled look flickering through his wide, cerulean eyes.

"You mean... There are _more_ ghouls out there?" He breathes, as if in disbelief, my eyebrows furrowing together as I turn my body so that I can face him a little better, kinda shocked when I realize that he's genuinely surprised by this news. I then look at Touka-chan, who's studying us as we talk, before I turn my gaze back to Rin, nodding my head in her direction.

"Touka-chan's one. Yoshimura-san's one. Everyone in Anteiku's a ghoul," I admit, Rin's jaw slackening with each new word I utter, as if he's unable to believe that what he's hearing is the truth.

"Y-You're kidding!" He exclaims, forcing a laugh out of me as his reaction causes me a significant amount of amusement; did he really think that me and him were the only ghouls out there, as well as the one that attacked him? If so, that's just too adorable! Shaking my head whilst giggling, Rin leans back in his chair, eyebrows raised and eyes widened. "Jeez, you learn something new every day!" And, with those words, both he and I fill the shop with our laughter, not really caring if we look like nutjobs. For the first time in a long time, I feel genuinely happy. Maybe it's not always such a beautiful lie after all.

* * *

 _ **TOUKA'S P.O.V**_

When was the last time I saw Kaneki smile or heard him laugh? I can't even seem to recall, however, I know that, when I cast my gaze upon him as he and Rin tease one another with smirks on their lips that part to let their giggles sound, I can't stop the warmth from spreading through me. Though I'm not that big of a fan of Rin, I can't deny that he's done what I had thought to be completely impossible.

He made Kaneki laugh.


	6. Chapter 6: Battlefield

_**A/N**_

 _ **NO MORE REVISION FUCK YEAAAAHHHH :D**_

 _ **Sorry... It's just I'm so close to the end of exams and the two I have left don't require any revision so I'M FREE! You know what that means, right? More Go To Hell :D So yeah, here's the next chapter and I hope I can get Chapter Seven written soon :3**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

 _ **(Also if you know the artist for Battlefield I will love you 5eva. It's a female singer and that's all I'm saying)**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

Kaneki and I end up spending the entire day at Anteiku until the sun begins to sink in the sky, causing it to burn a furious amber that spans over the city of Tokyo. There wasn't any way of me getting out of work with Touka; she forced me to wash up, wait tables and probably everything you could possibly do in a coffee shop. And Kaneki just sat around watching me, constantly smirking whenever I passed by him, which earned him several glares in just the space of one day.

Just as I stack the final chair on one of the tables, I find that I'm too distracted by the fact that I can already see a few stars glimmering in the sky to place it accurately, the piece of furniture slipping from my hands. Letting out a startled yelp, I go to catch it, though Kaneki beats me to it, his hand ensnaring the leg of the chair whilst his other holds onto my hip so that he doesn't topple forward with the motion. Shaking his head with a sigh, he sets it on the surface, hitting me around the head with his palm the second his hand's free, causing me to whine.

"What was that for?" I wail, rubbing my head with a pout as he pulls away from me, still scowling at me whilst I catch Touka smirking over his shoulder, something that causes me irritation.

"You always have your head in the clouds!" Kaneki retaliates, though the smirk that forms on his lips tells me that he didn't mean it in a hurtful way, my shoulders rolling into a shrug before I stretch out, yawning.

"Well it's nice up there," I state, Kaneki breathing a laugh whilst he shakes his head, giving me a gentle nudge with his elbow, me responding by digging my shoulder into his bicep, both of us laughing like immature kids. As we do, I notice that Touka's no longer looking how she usually does; instead of scowling at me or mocking me with a smug glance, she's simply smiling in a soft way that makes her features seem somewhat peaceful. That's new. However, that look soon vanishes when she notices that my gaze has fallen upon her, the glower that I'm already used to knitting back over her face.

"Alright, you two. This isn't a playground. Beat it," she growls, practically shoving Kaneki and I out of the shop, both of us complaining that we have our own legs and know our way out. Even still, she doesn't release us until we stumble onto the sidewalk, the golden splatters that the streetlamps throw down onto the concrete pooling around our feet. "See you tomorrow," she mutters, throwing us a quick smile before she softly pulls the door to a close, Kaneki and I looking like stranded puppies as we just stand there in silence, somewhat baffled. I mean, she just threw us out... Literally!

After a short period of silence, Kaneki sighs, stretching himself out with a tiny squeal that causes my teeth to burrow into my bottom lip; I can't help it. That was kinda cute. Shaking the thought from my head, I move closer to his side, my eyes flickering around the buildings that encompass us.

"Now what?" I ask, frowning when I finally realize the scale of this city, feeling slightly daunted, as well as awestruck, that I'm really here. I'm really in the middle of Tokyo, aren't I? It sounds pathetic, but it feels so awesome to be in a place that's so different to what you're used to, just the sheer size of this place stunning me.

"Home," Kaneki replies, snapping me out of my daze so that I can focus on his face, his silver eyes taking on a copper tint due to the light that the sun casts down, a citrus hue glowing on his skin. "C'mon," he encourages, turning his back to me so that I have no choice but to trail behind him, though I decide to catch up to him so that I'm walking by his side, nibbling on my lip. Noticing this, Kaneki breathes a laugh, his gaze wandering in my direction, though he looks away the second my eyes fall upon him. "Your lip taste good or something?" He asks with a laugh, a glare quickly forming over my features, causing him to giggle even more as he leans away from me, probably thinking I'm going to hit him. But I have a better retaliation.

"You should know. You were quick to taste them," I spit, smirking to myself when I see a pink colour start to cluster in his cheeks, his eyes flickering away awkwardly so that they're directed towards his feet.

"I-I was just trying to get you to eat. It's not my fault you're so stubborn!" He cries out, a laugh slipping from me, causing him to scowl at me until I clamp my lips shut, my hands settling themselves behind my head as I continue to smile.

"Well you're a great kisser," I joke, a look starting to develop in Kaneki's eyes that strikes fear into my core; he looks like he's gonna kill me if I don't shut my mouth. Even still, this is too funny! Seeing him get so embarrassed isn't something that I'm used to, despite only knowing him for a few hours.

"Sh-Shut up, idiot," he mutters sheepishly, something that grasps my attention a little; he doesn't sound mad at me any more, which is confusing since, if someone kept pestering me like I'm doing with him, I'd have punched the shit outta them by now. The fact that he hasn't gets me thinking, though I eventually push the thought away. He's right; he was just transferring blood into my mouth. I should stop making it seem as if it was anything more since it's clearly making him uncomfortable. However, the reason why is something I can't think of. Maybe it's just Kaneki being Kaneki.

* * *

"Uhm... You really weren't kidding," I mutter with raised eyebrows when Kaneki lets us both into his apartment, my eyes flickering around the small area that he and I are going to have to share until I can finally go back to True Cross. Unless I scrape together enough money to buy my own place, which will probably _never_ happen! I guess it's not _too_ bad. We're just gonna have to... Make do?

"I don't like lying. Alright, you're gonna have to take the couch," he explains, drawing my attention right away whilst I furrow my eyebrows into a frown of protest. I've literally had one of the shittiest days ever and he's gonna make me crash on a freaking couch?! "What?" He whines, clearly taking note of the look of disbelief that riddles my features, his eyes narrowing as if he's trying to figure me out. Good luck with that one.

"Nothing! It's just... Well... I've had the day from hell," I murmur, not able to look him in they eyes since I feel kinda rude; this _is_ his apartment, after all. But still! It's so unfair that I have to sleep on an uncomfortable couch. Any other day I probably wouldn't mind too much, though it's not my fault that today has been particularly crappy.

"It's my apartment, Rin!" He retaliates, my focus flickering up to see that he's got his arms folded sternly like a parent would when scolding their child. Narrowing my eyes into a glare, I take a step closer to him, trying to think of how I'm going to go about winning this argument. If I can't convince him with words, I'm gonna need to take another approach.

"Oh come on, Kaneki. Who says we can't share?" I murmur flirtatiously, having to bite my lip to stop the laughter when his cheeks flare with a ruby colour within seconds, his eyes refusing to meet my gaze as he flicks his head to the side, refusing to look at me.

"I-I'm not gonna share my bed with a guy!" Kaneki exclaims, trying to push me away as I intentionally get too close for comfort, though I catch his wrists with an eerie and, let's be honest, perverted giggle. "Rin let me go!" He whines, trying to tug his hands back, though I don't let him, pulling him closer to me until our chests are nearly touching.

"Why not? I don't bite," I whisper, Kaneki biting on his lip as he just stares at me, unsure of whether I'm putting this on, which I am, or if this is really what I'm like behind closed doors. Just as he goes to open his mouth to respond, I burst out into laughter, freeing his wrists so that I can double over, clutching my stomach when it starts to ache. I can't even sum up how hilarious that was! He looked so confused!

"Y-You asshole!" Kaneki cries, my giggles only increasing when I look up to see his entire face bright red, his cheeks puffed out in anger as he just scowls at me since I'm clearly unable to stop laughing. This is too much! However, I'm soon silenced when I feel something curl around my ankle, only able to take a quick glance down before my left leg is tugged from underneath me, a startled yelp sounding from me as I feel my body leave the ground.

Only when I open my eyes do I realize what's just happened, my gaze falling upon a smirking Kaneki, though he's upside-down. Wait... No he isn't; I am! Looking up, I see a crimson appendage gripped firmly around my ankle, danging me above the floor so that I can't do anything to escape. What the heck even is that? Looking back to Kaneki, I notice that three other limbs, similar to the one holding me, writhe behind him, as if eager to assault me even further.

"What the-"

"-It's called a kagune, idiot," Kaneki snaps, increasing the pressure that his 'kagune' has on my ankle until I feel it cutting into the skin, a whine of pain slipping from me when blood begins to trickle down my leg.

"Kaneki... Th-That hurts!" I wail, gritting my teeth since the entirety of my lower leg is beginning to go numb as he cuts off the circulation, though that doesn't stop more blood from oozing from the wound he's created. But when I look at him, it's like he doesn't care that I'm in pain, his kakugan blazing in a way that intimidates me. And, for a split second, I swear I see him smiling.

Then, all of a sudden, his eyes widen as he realizes what he's doing, dropping me right away so that my body tumbles to the ground in a heap, my hands instantly poking and prodding my ankle that stings each time I apply pressure. As I do, I flicker my eyes in Kaneki's direction, his knuckles pressed to his lips whilst he just stares at me, a look of fear darting through his irises.

"I-I didn't mean to-" Kaneki whimpers, stumbling back a few paces, acting as if he's just freaking killed me! Shrugging, I breathe a laugh and get to my feet, holding back the wince that I feel pestering my features when I put pressure on my ankle.

"It's just a cut," I say with a smile, placing a hand on Kaneki's shoulder as I try to look him in the eye, though he refuses to let me read his face when he turns his head away. I don't get why he's beating himself up about it; it was just an accident. However, no matter how much I try to convince him, that look never leaves his eyes, which stay fixed with my bleeding ankle. Sighing, I place my other hand on his shoulder, a gasp hitching in his throat as I force him to look at me and the scolding glare I wear on my face. "Stop moping. It doesn't suit you," I command, that shocked look continuing to quiver in his irises, his kakugan gradually fading until both eyes are once again silver, staring at me with what seems to be disbelief.

"S-Sorry," he murmurs, finally breaking his gaze away when I take back my hands, positioning them by my sides as I shrug, still unable to understand why he's so torn up about something that he didn't mean to cause. Besides, by the time I look down at the wound, I notice that it's already sealed itself shut, my skin displaying no sign of damage at all. Even for a demon like me, it regenerated much faster than usual! "Well I think I know what kagune type you're going to have. I'll take the couch," Kaneki murmurs softly, earning a frown in return, though he doesn't focus on my reaction. Instead, he brushes past me to go an retrieve a blanket, my eyebrows still furrowed together. So I have one of those kagune things too? Huh... That's gonna be interesting.

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V**_

As I bundle my blanket up in my arms, I find that I'm still gasping down shaky breaths, my teeth constantly tugging at my bottom lip as I try to hold back any kind of emotions that wish to cross my face. Why did I do that? Why did I hurt Rin? It was just supposed to be a joke; I didn't mean to cause any harm. But I did. And, worst of all, I enjoyed it. I liked seeing him suffer from it, which terrifies me. There's no way I can let Rin know about my state of being; if he found out, I have no idea how I'd explain it without losing him. Hopefully, I'll never have to.


	7. Chapter 7: Bad Blood

_**A/N**_

 _ **See didn't I say I'd get this chapter up quickly? I keep my promises :3 But little story to go with this chapter...**_

 _ **So I was writing it and I got like 100 words in and then I decided to look to my right and there was a wasp right next to my face. I literally screamed so loud, threw my laptop onto my bed and my glasses across the room and legged it. I had to get my neighbor round whilst I just cowered in my PJs and Kaneki hoodie until he got rid of it x'D**_

 _ **Story time over**_

 _ **I can't help it I have a phobia! But I got the chapter finished anyways so...**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

 _This hunger. It's agony, which makes it so much more satisfying when I manage to fulfill it, no matter whose blood graces my lips in order for me to reach that goal. Flesh is like a drug; it's addictive. I wouldn't have realized that if it weren't for Kaneki forcing me to take it to begin with. I was so reluctant then. But now? I can't help but take pleasure from consuming as much as I can, never wanting to stop myself since only few things bring me such a euphoric rush. Blood. Flesh. Combined, it's complete perfection. Sanity may argue otherwise, but I no longer care for its opinion. All that matters is satisfying my lust. Everything else is irrelevant._

 _Sinking my teeth into the flesh of my newest victim once more, I allow myself to grin as a feeling of ecstasy overrides me, the crimson essence of my prey slithering down my throat after performing a symphonic dance over my taste buds, luring me to further devour more. So I do; I bury my teeth into his neck, ripping away at it whilst he screams in agony, though I pay him no attention. His well-being doesn't matter to me; flesh is all I care about. Humans are insignificant._

 _However, when I draw out again so that I can take yet another bite, gasping down a heavy breath, a hand grapples around my wrist, both of my own pressed against the shoulders of my prey to keep him pinned to the floor, incapable of resisting. But this small action forces me to focus properly upon who it is that I've chosen to feed from. And, in an instant, my complete and utter desire to consume his flesh is eradicated when my eyes fixate on burning, turquoise ones._

Yukio.

Gasping, I stumble off of his body, my hand gradually finding its way to my mouth as I stare down at the mangled body of my brother, blood pulsing from the wound on his neck at a dangerous rate, telling me that I probably bit into the artery. He's going to bleed to death! I can't lose my brother! He's the only family I have left! He can't die by my hand; he just can't!

"Yukio," I whimper, collapsing to my knees next to his battered and bloody form, my hand grasping onto his limp one as tears quickly prickle the corners of my eyes. His hand's so cold. It's like he's nothing more than an empty shell waiting for death to take him from me. "You can't die. I-I won't lose you too because of me!" I cry, though it's broken up by a sob, my canines piercing my bottom lip when I find that I'm biting down on it so hard that I'm able to draw blood. I can't help it; I don't want to cry. Because, if I do, I'm admitting to myself that he's gonna die.

"R-i-n," Yukio barely breathes, using everything he has to give my hand a small squeeze in return, my eyes never leaving his face as he shows me one of the smallest smiles I've ever seen upon his features, though it's warped by the blood that trails from the corner of his mouth. Choking in a breath, I hold onto his hand with a tighter grip, my free one forcing a few tears away from my eyes, though they're instantly replaced by fresh ones that tumble down my cheeks.

"I-I didn't mean to-" I whimper, only now remembering that that's exactly what Kaneki said to me when he injured me. I think of how scared he looked when he realized what he'd done. No doubt I have that exact same terror upon my face as I gaze down at my dying brother, who's using whatever final breaths he has left to talk to me. Sighing a little, he raises his other arm, pressing his palm to my face with a wince, my free hand cupping it instantly as if I can't bear to let him go. Because I can't. If I lose Yukio, I'll have no family to turn to. I'll be alone.

"S-Stop crying... Rin... Y-You didn't... With... Them," Yukio pants, looking as if he's finally about to give in to death. No! I can't let him! I-I won't let him leave! I don't want to lose him. I don't want to be alone. Though I should care about what he meant, I don't; all I can focus on is trying to wish with everything I have that he's not going to die.

"You can't go, Yukio. Don't you dare die!" I wail, gritting my teeth and squeezing my eyes shut when the sight of the blood that refuses to stop pouring from his neck becomes too much for me to handle. It was my fault. I let impulse take over me and now he's going to die as the result. And I was the one that did it to him. How many more people are going to die because of me?!

"It... H-Hurts, Rin. I'm... I'm so... S-Scared," Yukio finally whispers, the light that usually rages in his eyes starting to flicker like a dying bulb, life gradually abandoning him. I can't stop it. No matter how much I plead and beg, there's no way I'm going to save my brother from the death that he doesn't deserve. So, squeezing his hand, I let more tears fall, some of them dripping onto Yukio's face to combine with his own, my chest going tight whilst the ability to breathe seems to leave me.

"I-I'm sorry, Yukio. I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean... To kill you," I sob, though I'm forced to open my eyes again when I feel his hand fall away from my face, the one that's clasped in my own going limp. "Yukio?" I whimper, giving his shoulders a shake as emptiness starts to develop within me, a sense of hopelessness taking over when I get no response. He can't be... He's not gone! He can't be dead! "Yukio! Answer me, dammit! Wake up! WAKE UP!" I scream to no reply, shakily getting to my feet whilst every single limb trembles, my eyes unable to tear themselves away from his dim ones that show no signs of life whatsoever, his skin so pale, it looks as if he's nothing more than an echo of who he once was.

Stumbling backwards, I press my hand to my mouth, only to feel the blood that lines my lips, though I refuse to look down at it. That's the blood of my brother. The brother I just killed. This can't be happening. This can't be real. Please... just let this all be some horrible prank. I wouldn't even care. As long as it brings my brother back to me, I'll wish for it to be anything but the truth.

However, all of a sudden, I find myself halted in my attempts to escape when the back of my foot collides with something with a dull _thud_ , my head mechanically turning around to cast a glance over my shoulder in order to see just what I've walked into. However, when I do, I instantly wish that I never even looked.

Thrown around in many different twisted positions, appearing as nothing but rag dolls, the bodies of every single person that I've ever come to love like family are sprawled, blood, guts and flesh strewn about around their corpses. Gazing down, my eyes meet with Shiemi's lifeless ones, her chest torn apart so that her heart hangs out of it, ripped into shreds with blood dripping from the mangled organ. "No... Oh God... Please no! This can't be real! This can't be real! I-I wouldn't... I wouldn't kill them. There's no way. Please... They're my only family. Bring them back. BRING THEM BACK!"

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V**_

I'm barely indulged in slumber for a few hours before something terrifying tears me from my dreamless sleep, what sounds like screaming ripping through my apartment, sounding from my bedroom. Rin. Without thought, I spring from the couch, my drowsy limbs barely permitting me to sprint in to see him since they're begging for the relief that they require. But I don't care; something's wrong and I'm not going to do anything else until I know if Rin's okay.

When I finally break into my bedroom, the first thing I notice is that Rin's writhing around in his sleep, tears coating his cheeks whilst he has his teeth gritted together so hard, I can see the muscles straining in his neck. However, they loosen when another scream of terror breaks free from his throat, causing me to flinch since I wasn't expecting it right at that second.

Knowing I don't have any other choice, I grab Rin's shoulders to hold him in place, refusing to let him thrash around any more, my hands actually trembling as I try to wake him; I have no idea what's going on, though my best guess would be that he's suffering a nightmare unlike any that he's faced before. And it must be petrifying.

"Rin! Rin you have to wake up! It's just a nightmare. Wake up!" I call out to him, hoping that my words will be able to reach him, along with the way that I'm shaking him gently to encourage him out of the nightmare that has an iron grip on him. And, though I don't expect it to work, his eyes suddenly fly open with a sharp gasp, both sweat and tears covering his face so that it's difficult to determine which is which.

For a few minutes, he takes a while to adjust to the fact that he's actually awake, his eyes darting around, clearly searching for whatever he saw in his dream in order to check if it was reality or not. However, even when he's managed to understand that he's no longer in that nightmare, his breathing doesn't slow, nor does his pulse when I check it with my fingertips, Rin not seeming to even acknowledge that I'm right next to him.

That is, until his eyes flicker in my direction, only around two seconds passing before he clings to me, sobbing uncontrollably whilst I cradle him, my arms softly holding him against me as he weeps into the turquoise hoodie that I always sleep in. As his hands grasp onto the fabric, I start hushing him as if he's a child, my hand running over his hair as he cries, my teeth biting down on my lip to stop myself from doing the same. I never thought I'd see him look so broken beyond fixing; I know how that looks and this is an exact example. So I do all that I can and comfort him with soft words and gentle interactions, his sobbing gradually ebbing.

"I killed them, Kaneki. I-I killed them," he whimpers at one point, encouraging me to hold him closer until his head is pressed against my chest, a few of his tears leaking through the fabric of my hoodie.

"It was just a dream, Rin. It wasn't real," I assure him, though I can relate to how he's feeling based on what he's just told me; I've had similar nightmares about all of those I love dying by my hand. If he's had a dream similar, then I know exactly how terrifying it is. You always wonder if there's a possibility that it's going to come true some day.

Nodding feebly, Rin places his head against my shoulder again, though I still keep my arms around him, noticing that he's shivering, most likely due to the fact that he doesn't have anything on apart from his boxers, his entire torso completely bare. He must be freezing.

Unzipping my hoodie, I slide it off of my shoulders and wrap it around his, helping Rin into it until the fabric envelops him in warmth, which he seems to snuggle down into whilst the cold begins to nip at my skin. "You need to sleep," I murmur gently, helping him to lie back down again, though he stares at me with fearful eyes, clearly worried about having to suffer from the same nightmare if he does allow himself back into slumber. Even still, he's going to be exhausted if he doesn't rest.

Getting up so that I too can get back to sleep, I nudge Rin's cheek with my knuckle ever so softly, smiling delicately before I turn away from him. However, before I'm able to even take a step forward, I feel a hand ensnare mine, my gaze flickering over my shoulder to meet Rin's, his eyes wide with worry.

"Stay with me?" He whispers, sounding so weak in comparison to how he usually does. This is a side of Rin that I'm sure most people don't even know exists, yet he's displaying it to me already. Does he really trust me that much? Nodding a little, I once again place myself on the bed, perching on the edge as I run my hands through Rin's hair, trying to soothe him since he's still panting.

"I'm here, Rin. It's alright. You're gonna be okay. There's no way I'm gonna leave you," I murmur, Rin finally shutting his eyes, one of his hands curling around my own, holding onto it as if it's essential for him to do so, one final tear snaking down his cheek. I have to protect him; if I don't, something will eventually destroy him. Be it an external force or himself, that day will come. I can't let that happen; I just can't. Leaning down, I place a tiny kiss on his forehead, feeling the softness of his hair tickling against my lips, to seal my promise. "I won't let anything happen to you."


	8. Chapter 8: All We Know

_**A/N**_

 _ **Yo ima back! Yeah it hasn't been that long but still... I managed to get around a million ideas for both fanfictions as well as one of my original ideas that I really really hope I can either get published as a book or a manga (or both) in the future x'D But enough about that; you're here for Go To Hell!**_

 _ **And, just as a reminder for anyone who thinks so, I haven't forgotten about Rin being a demon and all the shiz that comes with being one (I've seen Blue Exorcist at least 4 times. I think I know quite a bit about my favorite anime character by now). I know it might look like I have but I promise that's intentional.**_

 _ **Also, it might seem like this story is basically what Kaneki went through with a different character, but that's also not the case. Things will change up but I have to build up to it first. Patience!**_

 _ **Anyhoo, rant over :3**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V**_

With a muffled groan, I feel my body gradually drag itself out of the slumber that I accidentally fell into last night whilst I was in the process of watching over Rin. And, going by the way that the morning sunlight is breaking through the window in gentle, silver rays, it's clear that having me here settled him enough to allow him to have a dreamless sleep that lasted the entire night. At least I can be thankful for that much; it's horrible seeing him in the pain that he was suffering last night. I never want to witness that again.

As I prepare myself to get up so that I can make Rin and I a coffee to begin the day with, I find that I'm being held in place by a pair of arms that link around my abdomen in a warm embrace, Rin holding me against him as he softly snores in his sleep. Instantly, I feel the heat blossom in my cheeks when I realise that he's spooning me, his body pressed against my own whilst he hugs me to his torso, not showing any signs of letting me go.

Though I don't understand it, my stomach squirms in hundreds of different directions, feeling like I have a flurry of butterflies fluttering around inside it whilst my face only gets warmer. I need to get up before I end up embarrassing myself; with the way that he's snuggling up to me, I know that, if I don't escape quickly, I'm gonna end up in an even more awkward situation. It's not like guys can control it, after all.

"Rin. Rin wake up," I mutter quietly at first, bringing my arm back a little to dig my elbow into his abdomen, though it meets with something much more solid than I expected. Does he... Have a six pack? Biting my lip, I nudge him in the stomach again, harder this time, desperately trying to drag him out of slumber. "Rin it's morning. Wake up," I say a little louder, getting a small whine in response, Rin only cuddling up to me even more with a whimper, his head rubbing itself against my back. Why is it that the only thing I notice is that his hair feels so unbelievably soft against my bare skin? Okay, I need to stop. This needs to stop. I can't... Fall for him!

"Ka-ne-ki," Rin suddenly mumbles in his sleep, shuddering a little and clinging to me more, tightening the grip he has around my waist whilst he groans, obviously reacting to something that's going on in his head. Whatever it is, it concerns me, which makes me slightly nervous. "D-Don't... I-I can't be... Alone," he breathes, warmth spreading through my chest whilst a small smile tickles my lips, tugging them up into a soft smirk. I guess he really does value my company, even though all we've done is bicker since we met. Even still, I can't shake the fact that I already care about him more than most people. There's just something about him. Is it because I see all of the pain I suffered represented in him, the only difference being that I can fix him? There wasn't anyone around to offer me such a luxury. "No! Leave him alone! STOP IT!" He cries out, my entire being jumping out of thought when he begins to scream out in a fear similar to last night, his arms gripping onto me so tight that I can barely breathe, the feeling of warm liquid splattering on my shoulders causing my stomach to cave. Another nightmare.

"It's a nightmare, Rin. It's not real! Wake up!" I exclaim urgently, my hands clamping around his arms to reassure him that I'm here, his body relaxing a little the second my skin comes into contact with his. "I'm here. It's alright. I'm here, Rin." With my words, I hear a muffled moan sound from between my shoulders, which is shortly followed by a sharp gasp, Rin's arms releasing me as he bolts up, ragged pants filling the air as he clamps a hand over his chest. However, his eyes eventually fall upon me and all panic seems to abandon his irises in an instant, making way for the tears that gradually cloud them, his bottom lip quivering ever so slightly.

"You're alive," he whimpers, a bead of silver running down his cheek as he presses his knuckles to his lips, clearly trying to hold back his sobs, though I can see him swallowing them with every breath. The second I open my arms in order to console him, he somewhat collapses into them, his hands clinging to me whilst his head falls over my heart, which is pounding against my chest due to the sorrow that his suffering brings me. I have every idea of how terrifying it is thinking that someone you know you need has been cruelly torn from your life, so I allow myself to embrace him softly, assuring him that I'm here.

"I'm not going anywhere," I murmur, my hand running over his hair whilst he continues to cry, letting all of his emotions pour out in front of me just like he did last night, his hands balling into fists against my bare torso. Gasping in a choked breath, he nods feebly, though he still refuses to let me go. I can only guess that he's convinced that, if he does, I'll suddenly disappear.

"You better not," he breathes with a shaky laugh to his tone, a light chuckle sounding from me as I give his shoulders one final squeeze, pulling away so that I can brush the tears out of his eyes, Rin not seeming to mind as I do. I didn't expect him to let me baby him like this, yet he seems perfectly content. However, I can't deny I'm a little dismayed when I notice that his kakugan has activated due to his warped emotions, my hand feeling for my eye patch. When my fingers ensnare the small square of ivory fabric, I press it into Rin's palm, a small smile falling onto his lips when he takes a glance at it. "Thanks. I'm gonna go take a shower," he mutters, about to get to his feet when something stops him, a look of sudden realization flitting around in his azure orbs before he discards my hoodie, handing it to me with a faint smile. "Thanks," he says quietly before slipping out of the room, my hands ensnaring the turquoise fabric as I press it to my chest.

"Glad I could help."

* * *

"How am I out of coffee?!" I exclaim as my eyes scan around in all of the little cupboards that litter my tiny kitchen, using my kagune to feel around in the higher storage units whilst my hands grace the ones closer to the ground, though I can't seem to find any coffee anywhere. I don't get it; I usually have a load of it on hand! Did I seriously run out?

With a sigh, my kagune flicks the cupboards to a close before retracting back into my skin, a frown quickly forming on my face as I place my hands on my hips, pouting a little. Maybe we're gonna have to go to Anteiku to get some then; apparently I'm out, though it doesn't make any sense to me. Maybe I sleep-drank it all since I sure as hell don't remember exhausting my supply whilst conscious. And who'd wanna steal freaking coffee?!

I'm probably overreacting way too much about this, though it slightly pisses me off; I'm already irritable and the lack of that particular beverage is just going to make it worse. The last thing I wanna do is lose my temper around Rin, especially after the turbulent night he's had. If I'm an ass to him because of this, I'll have no excuse. I don't think 'I didn't have my coffee this morning' is a valid reason for snapping at someone, which will probably happen if I don't watch myself. I guess I'm gonna have to hold my tongue until we get to Anteiku.

Stretching myself out, I make my way towards the bathroom, my mind clouded by way too many thoughts to remember that Rin told me he was going to take a shower to calm himself down. That is, until I push open the door and see him stood there with a towel dangling from his hands, no clothing on his body whatsoever. "S-SORRY!" I cry out, backing out of the room as quickly as I stupidly entered, my features buried in my palms whilst my cheeks burn with angry blood that attacks my face, turning me crimson. Holy shit I'm such an idiot! How did I _forget_ that Rin was taking a shower?! He's gonna freaking kill me!

But what the heck did I see just then; though, obviously, I saw Rin standing there completely naked, there was something else I swear my eyes noticed. Something black, long and curled at the end... Like a tail. Oh yeah, Kaneki, of course Rin has a fucking tail! I need to get my shit together, I swear to God.

As expected, when Rin exits from the bathroom, the towel wrapped tightly around his waist, his face is bright red with both embarrassment and fury, his eyes instantly glaring at me the second he notices me leaning against the wall, still recovering from the whole thing.

"DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FUCKING KNOCK?!" He yells, causing me to flinch, my hand finding my nape so that I can nervously rub it, shrinking into myself as I bite down on my lip, trying to avoid eye-contact. I messed up, that much I know. And now he's pissed off with me, which really doesn't surprise me. However, I can't deny that it kinda stings.

"I-I'm sorry! I forgot," I mutter, knowing how stupid it sounds the second the words leave my lips, my gaze flickering up for a second or two just to see the complete disbelief swamp Rin's irises, his arms sternly folding over his bare stomach. Well at least he hasn't hit me yet.

"Forgot?! How the fuck do you _forget_?!" Rin growls, my teeth increasing their grip on my lip whilst I clasp my hands together between my legs, shrugging like a kid being scolded like a parent. However, eventually, I gather the courage to connect my eyes with his, hoping that he'll forgive me.

"I dunno. My mind was all over the place and I just... Look I'm sorry, alright?!" I snap, taking myself by surprise as my own irritation tries to take over me, though I manage to push it down, brushing my hair out of my eyes. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap," I mutter, Rin sighing whilst a frown knits over his eyebrows, his arms falling to his sides again.

"You're real strange, you know that, right?" He says, causing me to look up quickly, my gaze meeting with the smirk that tugs at his lips, his hand giving my shoulder a light push until I breathe a laugh, once again sweeping my hair away from my forehead, the heat that had previously collected on my face starting to filter away. With a nervous giggle, I re-position my hand until it rests against the base of my neck again, nodding my head.

"Yeah I know," I admit, my teeth finding a home in my bottom lip, a habit that I seem to have already picked up thanks to Rin, who mimics me with a smirk, which is returned with a soft smile. "I guess that makes two of us," I murmur, Rin scowling in false offence, though he can't hold that look there for long when I start laughing at his attempts to stay mad at me, his facade breaking in an instant.

"True that," he says, turning his back to me as he makes his way back to the bedroom, most likely so that he can get changed into the uniform that Touka-chan had supplied him with yesterday. I hope he accepts that she's gonna force him to work for the entire time he's here; he has to do something with himself to distract his mind from all of the images it likes to conjure when he's unable to fight them off. And only now do I realize how alike his situation is to my own when this first happened to me. He has to work in a place that he doesn't know all too well, socializing with people/ghouls that he's never met personally before in an attempt to forget that he's currently going through hell. I guess he and I are more similar that I first thought.

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

Holy shit, that was way too close for comfort! I mean, I know that Kaneki saw me completely naked and everything, but I'm more worried about if he managed to get a glimpse of my tail or not. It doesn't seem like he has any idea about my demon side and I wanna keep it that way. I don't need there to be any more reasons for him to be afraid of me. I doubt he saw anything, though there's always going to be that possibility of such a thing happening again. But, for now, I'll do whatever I can to keep the truth from him.

After all, who would ever want to help Satan's son?


	9. Chapter 9: Fences

_**A/N**_

 _ **I'm so sorry! I know it's been forever since I updated but I've had a massive creative slump (and I've been addicted to Splatoon). But here's the chapter, which ended a little sooner than expected so sorry about that. But now that I think about it, the story will flow better if I put what I was gonna end this chapter with in the next chapter instead.**_

 _ **Anyhoo, I'll shut up now and let you get on**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V**_

After Rin's gotten himself dressed into his uniform, his cheeks still a little pink to match my own, he gives me the all-clear for us to get going, though I stop him just before we leave, a frown falling upon his eyebrows.

"What?" He whines, a sigh slipping from me as I direct my eyes towards his right one, realization flickering through his irises as he places his fingers to that area, his shoulders slackening. Seriously, how the heck did he forget to put his eye patch on when I literally gave it to him seconds before he went in the shower?! Then again, I forgot he was even _having_ a shower so I guess I can't judge. "Be right back," he mutters before quickly darting into the bathroom, the sound of him rummaging around in there bouncing off of the hallway's walls.

"Hey, it's your ass Touka-chan's gonna kick, not mine!" I call in response, laughter filling my tone as Rin pokes his head out of the bathroom just to glare at me, only causing me to giggle even more; it's so much fun winding him up, even though I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's the fact that I know that I'm definitely going to get a reaction from him that makes it so entertaining.

Eventually, Rin rejoins me and we quickly make our way to Anteiku, not wasting any time when we realize that we're already two minutes late. And, though that may not seem like much, to Touka-chan, that may as well amount to two years! So she's either going to kill Rin and spare me, or beat the crap out of us both for good measure. Either way, we're so screwed!

Which is why, when we approach the establishment, neither of us are willing to take a single step forward, both of us too afraid of what we're in store for if we dare to enter. However, we're not given a choice when the door swings open, an instant dark aura pulsing out of Anteiku from behind Touka-chan, who has a glare in her eye that even chills me to the bone.

"You're late," she growls, advancing towards us whilst Rin and I try to stumble away, though she quickly grabs both of us roughly by the scruff of our shirts, Rin letting out a scared yelp whilst I clamp my lips shut, not allowing Touka-chan any kind of reaction.

"It's my fault! Rin tried to wake me up but... I was being lazy," I lie right though my teeth, avoiding eye contact as she gradually releases her grip on Rin's shirt, causing him to tumble to the floor. Then, she shoots a glare at his crumpled form, a whimper of fear escaping from him as he scrabbles to his feet, her vicious eyes soon snapping back to me.

"Get inside, Rin; there are customers waiting to be served," she snaps, my stomach starting to coil the more I'm forced to stare into her irises, which seem to swirl with a fury that she only ever projects when she's about to beat the living shit out of someone. And I guess, thanks to my random desire to protect Rin, I'm her newest victim.

"But-"

"-Do as she says, Rin," I demand, his cobalt orbs finding my face whilst he frowns in confusion, clearly unable to understand why I'm taking the hit for him. To be honest, I don't even know myself. Maybe it's because I want there to be a chance of a friendship forming between him and Touka-chan some time in the future. Bobbing his head into a hesitant nod, Rin slowly turns his back to me after mouthing his thanks, my eyes watching him dart into Anteiku before Touka-chan can change her mind.

The very second he vanishes, tension instantly begins to swell in the surrounding air, my gaze locked with Touka-chan's furious one as she glowers at me with what I would definitely call hatred if we weren't as close as we really are. But that won't stop her from kicking my ass for showing up late to work; it wouldn't make a change from the usual. I know full well what the punishment is and, though I'm not really willing to accept it, I don't have much choice. At least Rin wasn't dropped in it.

"I think I'm gonna enjoy this," she snarls, venom dripping from her tone whilst an eerie smirk prickles on her lips, my lips still pressed into a line so that I don't allow her to make out my slight fear of what she's going to do to me. All I know is that it's going to hurt like hell!

* * *

And boy was I right! By the time we enter Anteiku once more, my body aches in several places, splotches of violet definitely blistering across the skin under my uniform, the wince on my face being refreshed with every new step I take. Touka-chan, on the other hand, skips into the shop as if nothing ever happened, instantly making her way to go and take orders whilst I try to recover. However, knowing that there's no way she's gonna let me slack off, I too get to work, going to different tables and taking orders like a good little employee. Just smile through the pain, Kaneki.

However, when I reach the bar once more in order to brew some coffee, whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, I find my eyes scanning around the shop, soon enough falling on a sight that, for some reason, turns my stomach a little. With a faded blush on his cheeks whilst he allows a small laugh to slip from the smile he wears, Rin jokes around with one of the customers, being an extremely pretty girl with huge, blue eyes and chocolate hair that falls to her hips. As she laughs in response to what he's clearly just said, I once again feel that horrible knotting sensation, though I'm unable to break my eyes away. Are they... Flirting?

No, they can't be; this is a coffee shop, not a place for casual flirting! Even still, I've never seen Rin blush like that, his cheeks seeming to get redder with each new word from this girl's mouth. I don't even realize I have the fabric of my apron balled up in my fist until Touka-chan approaches me, waving a hand in front of my face to get my attention.

"What?" I snap, Touka-chan frowning instantly at my tone of voice, obviously oblivious to what's currently going on. However, she soon riddles it out when her eyes track over to Rin, who, after five minutes, is still talking with that customer. How long does it take to get someone's order? Surely you don't have to have a huge conversation over it!

"What happened out there just now will happen again if you let your jealousy take over you," Touka-chan suddenly says, causing my eyes to snap away from Rin so that I can focus on her smirking face, my mouth opening to retaliate, though she cuts me off with a giggle that makes my blood boil, rising to my cheeks to turn them crimson.

"I-I'm not jealous!" I retaliate, folding my arms sternly like a pouting child whilst I glare at her, a small laugh escaping from her lips as she just stares at me with disbelief. Why would she think such a thing?! I don't see what would make her arrive at such a conclusion. "I just don't think it's appropriate for Rin to be wasting so much time on one customer when there are plenty of others waiting," I spit, not noticing the bitterness in my own tone. However, Touka-chan catches onto it immediately, jabbing a finger into my chest with a sadistic-looking smile.

"You're jealooous~," she teases, my hand raising itself to push her away whilst the other tends to the kettle, my fingers gracing all of the ingredients that I need to make the order I've taken, though I can't help but acknowledge this constant feeling of her eyes burning into me. Would she just drop it? I'm not jealous! Why would I be?

Just as I turn around to argue, my ears make out the familiar jingle of the bell that chimes every time a new customer enters the shop, both my own gaze fluttering in that direction, as well as Touka-chan's. However, the second I hear the foreign words fall from their lips, I know that I need not have looked his way to understand who it is.

"Quelque chose sent de nouveau et passionnant!" None other that Tsukiyama exclaims, striding into Anteiku with a wide smile on his face, taking a deep breath through his nose and sighing in content towards whatever scent must have graced it. Instantly, I find my stomach writhing, my sights setting on Rin in sync with Tsukiyama's, quickly understanding that he must have caught on to the new aroma that accompanies Rin. And, when he's curious, nothing good can ever come of it. I can only hope he doesn't try anything.

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

Biting onto my lip, I know that I have to stop laughing at this girl so that I can actually go and get her order together, though I can't really help it since she seems to know all of the right things to say in order to encourage laughter out of me. Well, there's that and... She's hot. Hey, I'm a guy so what else do you expect me to say?! However, I'm sure that, if Touka catches me talking to a customer for longer than I should, she'll do what she did to Kaneki to me as well.

I still can't believe that he took the hit for me like that; I know it was all my fault that we were late this morning, though he placed the blame on himself so that Touka would unleash her fury on him as opposed to me. Though I'm grateful, I feel a little guilty for doing that to him; I should've tried to argue with him and convince her it was down to me. Actually, I did, but Kaneki just cut me off. Perhaps he just really likes getting his ass kicked.

When I snap out of my thoughts of Kaneki, I focus again on the girl's wide, blue eyes, which stare at me expectantly, as if she's looking for some kind of response. Crap! What did she say? I completely zoned out! Shit, how do I reply?! Oh God I'm gonna look like such an ass for not paying attention.

However, the second I open my mouth to try and answer a question that I didn't even hear, a sudden chill races up my spine, the undeniable feeling of someone looming over me taking possession of my mind. Swallowing the lump that managed to form in my throat within seconds of noticing this sensation, I mechanically turn around to be met with the sight of a figure that towers over me, his body clad in a vibrant, indigo suit that bears a crimson shirt underneath.

"I couldn't help but notice that you're new here, oui?" He chimes in a tone way too sweet for a guy looking like him, however, when I take a second look at how his bright, purple hair sweeps over his forehead just above his swirling, lavender eyes, I wonder why I'm actually surprised that he sounds like this. Hesitantly nodding, he lets out a quick laugh, clapping his hands together whilst a smile that I can only describe as eerie knits onto his lips. "As I thought. You have this... Aroma about you that captures one's attention," he explains, my stomach starting to coil as I repeat what he just said in my head.

 _Aroma_?! What the heck is wrong with this guy? Now, just being in his presence makes me feel physically cold, as well as sick, a sudden impulse to escape filling my entire being as I continue to study him, a frown tugging on my eyebrows. However, before I can bolt, I'm able to breathe a sigh of relief when Kaneki makes his way over to us, rescuing me from this creep.

"Is everything alright, Rin?" He asks me, my eyes darting between him and the freaky purple pervert as I numbly nod, though my gaze is pleading him to get me away from this guy. I don't know how to explain it, but I just don't wanna be around him any more; any guy who goes around smelling people to see if they're new around or not can only be deemed as creepy! "I think Touka-chan wants to talk to you," he mutters, already starting to tug me back to the bar, away from the guy that gives me chills every time I look at him.

The second we're out of his hearing-range, the questions start falling from my lips, all in a panicked flurry as the horrid feeling I get when around that guy finally takes its full effect.

"Who the heck is that guy? What's up with him; he's so creepy! I-I think he sniffed me. I feel violated!" I whine, Kaneki's eyes flickering over to the purple pervert (which is my new name for him) with worry flickering through the silver flecks in his irises. Then, without warning, he pulls me into a hug which, if I didn't know any better, I would call protective. Appreciating the comfort, I wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head over his heart whilst I try to not look back at the purple perv.

"His name's Tsukiyama Shuu. And he can't be trusted, especially with someone like you who barely knows him. You need to keep away from him, Rin; he's bad news." Nodding against his chest, I pull away again, a crooked smirk weaving onto my lips as he gives me a reassuring smile. What would I do without Kaneki?

"Alright. Well, I'm gonna take out the trash. I need to breathe. Would you mind making that girl's order?" I ask politely, pressing the small notepad that holds her order into his palm as he softly nods, instantly getting to work whilst I empty the trash can, making my way outside so that I don't have to dwell in this crushing atmosphere. However, when I turn to exit, Tsukiyama's nowhere to be seen. Weird.


	10. Chapter 10: Weapon

_**A/N**_

 _ **So my friend abandoned me today so I had nothing better to do, apart from feel sorry for myself, so I got this chapter written :P I apologize if it's not great (though I'm hoping it's alright) since I'm feeling super run down. I'm not gonna go into detail, but I just feel terrible D:**_

 _ **But you didn't come here to hear me rant! So, ima shut up and let you read on x'D**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

I still can't help but shudder every time I think of that purple pervert, tipping the contents of the trash can into the dumpster out back, trying to get my mind off of the freak that goes around sniffing people. There's no way he can be human; the way that Kaneki spoke about him, saying that he was dangerous, means that there's no chance that he's going to just be some random customer. I'm going to have to do exactly what Kaneki says to avoid meeting with that guy again.

Sighing, I flick the lid of the dumpster down again, rubbing the base of my neck, wincing as I allow my fingers to roll into the skin, releasing the pent up tension that's trapped there. However, the second I turn around, all of it surfaces again, my blood chilling to the point where I freeze on the spot. Why?! Of all places, why here, where I can't really escape unless I want to risk making an absolute fool out of myself?

"Good morning, Rin-kun," Tsukiyama giggles, stepping out of the shadows so that I'm able to see his form in full, his body towering over mine by a good few inches, meaning that I have to look up if I want to glare at his eyes properly. However, I can't bring myself to even do that; the fear of whatever the perverted asshole has in mind to do with me keeps me rooted.

"Leave me alone, pervert," I hiss in response, Tsukiyama seeming to actually flinch, as if my words have hit him with a bigger force than intended, a discontented sigh huffing from his lips as he smooths over his hair, my limbs gradually gaining warmth again. Enough so that I can actually start trying to get away from him, turning my back so that I can attempt to make a run for it, using the element of surprise as my escape mechanism.

"Such cruel words to use against someone who knows what you _really_ are... Demon." The second that word leaves his lips, I feel every single one of my muscles go rigid, quickly whirling around to face his smirking features that look far too sweet. It's almost bitter. How the fuck does he even know about that?! I don't understand; I've told nobody here in Tokyo about me being a demon. Not even Kaneki knows! So how the heck did this perverted freak manage to figure it out?!

"How-"

"-Your scent. It's truly an enchanting aroma that holds a mystery I certainly can't help but admire," he chimes flamboyantly, opening out his arms as if he's not just speaking to me, but also the sky and the clouds that lazily dot it, a frown fixing itself over my eyebrows. Maybe I can just play this off as I usually do in situations like this, though I've never been in one quite as warped and distorted.

"Because _that's_ not creepy in any way!" I retort, backing away from Tsukiyama a little, though he takes a step forward every time I edge backwards, making sure that the distance between us never lessens. Then, he puts a finger to his lips, as if in thought, tilting his head to the side with a small smile that sends lashes of ice down my spine.

"I wonder... Does Kaneki-kun know?" He whispers, my eyes quickly widening the second my heart takes a sudden leap, a lump beginning to form in my throat as I once again freeze on the spot, unable to answer. My mouth feels so dry, as if all of the air has been sucked out all at once. Why does it feel like I can't breathe? All of a sudden, Tsukiyama lets out a crisp laugh, clapping his hands together as he leans closer to me, resting a finger on my chest. "Oh he doesn't! Isn't that just perfect pour moi?" Tsukiyama cries out, whirling around to turn his back to me, though it doesn't stop a confused frown from enveloping my features.

"What're you talking about?" I inquire, my hands quickly curling themselves into fists as his over-the-top attitude really starts to push my last nerve, anger tingling through my veins as he simply breathes yet another giggle, looking over his shoulder at me with a sickening smile that twists my stomach.

"You wish to keep the truth from him, non?" He mutters, causing my eyes to flicker away from him instantly, one of my hands flexing out again so that it can fiddle with the fabric of my apron, my teeth finding a home in my bottom lip. Of course I don't; if he found out about me being a demon... Would he be afraid of the monster I really am? "See! It's all over your face. I can make it seem as if I know nothing. That, to me, you're just the same as they all see. But I must warn you," then he quickly leans forward, grabbing my shoulders whilst his lips brush close to my pointed ear, "the padlock to seal these lips comes at a price." Gulping as he pulls away, I push my hair out of my eyes, trying to stop my hands from trembling by keeping them occupied in some way. I think I know where this is going and I'm sure as hell not looking forward to it. Because it probably means that I'm going to have to go against Kaneki's advice.

"What do you want from me?" I ask shakily, nerves clearly getting to me from the way that my voice shudders with anxiousness, my stomach pulling itself in a million different directions, though I try my hardest to keep the vomit from rising. Smirking, Tsukiyama presses his finger to his lips, which he licks, as if in anticipation.

"Your flesh. A few mouthfuls once a day to be precise; true, ghouls aren't supposed to acquire a taste for demon flesh. However, I see potential for a most divine experience with you!" He trills, smiling to himself as he pulls back a little, straightening himself out as I allow myself to think my way through this before accepting to do anything he wants me to. If I give him my flesh, he'll keep quiet about me being a demon, though it'll probably result in Kaneki getting suspicious if I get up to leave every single night with some kind of lame excuse. And that's when I get an idea that will allow me to stop that from happening, though it makes my stomach churn with guilt. But I have to do it. I have to protect my secret.

"When? And where?" I mutter in questioning, barely able to hold back the trembling in my tone any more, deciding that I may as well expose my nervousness to him; it's clear that, no matter what I want, he's got me wrapped around his little finger. As long as he knows about me being a demon, that's not going to change. I'm at his every beck and call now.

"Le soir at the cafe named Délice. Don't keep me waiting~!" He chimes, waltzing down the alley again with a giggle, my eyes flickering down to analyze my skin, which has become ghostly pale with fear. I don't have a choice; he's gonna reveal what I really am if I don't show. Now, all I have to do is keep this all a secret from Kaneki. And I'm dreading doing what I plan to do.

* * *

"I'm so damn exhausted!" Kaneki breathes, slumping down on the bed the second we get back to the apartment, both of our bodies sagging from the day at work that we've both had to endure, though I've also been suffering from the constant anxiety that's plagued me ever since my conversation with Tsukiyama. After that, I had to make sure that I prepared everything for tonight, by which I mean that I've ensured that I have what is required to knock Kaneki out for a good few hours. Long enough for Tsukiyama to sink his teeth to my flesh in exchange for secrecy.

So, though I wish to join him in resting, there's no way I can; I'm way too tense and I just know there's no way I'm gonna be able to relax until I get this over with. Tsukiyama asked me to meet him at nightfall, at least I think so, which means that I don't have long going by the way that violet is creeping into the amber tantrum of the sky, creating the medley of dusk that I know all too well by now.

"You relax and I'll make us both a coffee," I mutter with a smile, Kaneki frowning in confusion as he sits back up again, narrowing his eyes as if he's scrutinizing me.

"You're offering to make coffee, despite the fact that you've never made it before in your life?" He asks, my heart already starting to pick up its pace since it feels like, the longer I waste time, the quicker he'll find out what I intend to do.

"I've made coffee before! Yukio's addicted to the damn stuff!" I lie, feeling a twist of pain when I think about my twin, wondering if he's freaking out about me going missing yet. Then again, he has no idea that I've become a ghoul, so I'm betting that Mephisto has managed to cover up my disappearance. I honestly hope so; I don't want my own brother being frightened of me when he learns about what I am. If a demon wasn't bad enough, I'm now part ghoul as well. Who the fuck wouldn't be terrified of that combination?

"Alright. But I'm super picky so, for your sake, you better get it right," he threatens, though a laugh catches on his tone, causing me to nervously breathe a giggle before retreating to the kitchen so that Kaneki can't ask me any questions about my obviously weird behavior. I'm almost certain he's noticed, but maybe he's pinning it down to other reasons. I mean, there's no way he knows about Tsukiyama confronting me, right?

With shaking hands, I quickly prepare the coffees, taking myself by surprise when I actually know what I'm doing, sipping both of them to test that they taste at least decent, though I can't help but consume a mouthful when I find myself more than satisfied. Kaneki was right when he said that I'd develop a 'certain love for coffee'.

However, now comes to part that makes my throat tighten with nerves, my fingers plucking the small bottle from my pocket that contains the sleeping drops that I intend to pour into Kaneki's drink. I know it's awful, but what else am I supposed to do? There's no way he's gonna let me out of his sight after only a couple of days of becoming a ghoul since my behavior is probably still way too unpredictable.

Biting down on my lip, I add more than the recommended amount of drops into his coffee, just in case it has different effects on different species. Also, I have to make sure that he doesn't wake up until tomorrow morning since, if he awoke earlier, he'd know that I'd done something to his drink. So, once I'm done, I shove the petite vile back into my pocket, picking the mugs up by their handles, being sure to keep tabs on which one is the drugged one. I can't believe I'm doing this.

"Here you go," I mutter, handing Kaneki his mug, which he accepts with a smile, though I can't seem to even force one, my nerves jumping all over the place as I press the cup to my lips, gulping down a mouthful whilst he just calmly sips at his. And my stomach won't stop coiling, so there's that too. Oh my fucking God what the hell have I done?! Is it too late to change my mind?

"Tastes good. Little sweet but I guess I can forgive that," Kaneki praises with a laugh, an anxious one slipping from me as I do everything I can to produce a smile, though I know that it probably looks terribly fake. It's not my fault; with every mouthful he takes, the worse I feel. I can't remember the last time I felt so damn guilty!

Just as I'm finishing off my final mouthful, Kaneki places his mug on the end table, stretching himself out as he yawns, already starting to look a little drowsy. "I knew I was tired but... Not this much," he murmurs, his eyes flickering up to find my own, though I don't allow myself to meet his gaze. That was a bad move. "Rin? What's wrong?" He asks, shuffling a little closer to me so that he can force me to look at him, his fingers wrapping around my jaw so that I don't have any other option. And, in that single instance, he sees every single negative emotion that fills them, confusion weaving itself into his features.

"Nothing. I'm fine!" I stutter, backing away from him so that I can get to my feet. However, as I do, I feel something slip out of my pocket, landing on the floor with a muffled thudding sound, my stomach screwing itself up into a crumpled knot when my gaze seeks out the bottle of sleeping drops lying idly on the carpet. But I'm not the only one; Kaneki soon notices it too, his eyes widening the second he realizes exactly what it is, his unbelieving orbs of silver quickly finding my face.

"Rin... What...?" Before he can finish, his eyelids begin to fall to a close, his body going limp as the drugs take effect, consuming him and dragging him down into slumber against his will, my teeth buried deeply into my bottom lip whilst my fingernails dig into my palms, as if that's really enough to punish me. I freaking drugged him! What the fuck is wrong with me?!

"I'm sorry, Kaneki," I mutter quickly before I bolt, unable to stay here in the suffocating air any longer; I need to escape from there before my guilt completely crushes me.

So I run, darting through the darkness of dusk as I make my way to where I promised to meet Tsukiyama so that he can take my flesh. Maybe then I'll be able to suffer enough for what I've done; I'm not gonna feel better about it until I feel as if I've been through enough pain to make up for it.

I had no idea that that's exactly what I was going to get... And more.


	11. Chapter 11: Toxic

_**A/N**_

 _ **Over 3,000 reads?! WHAT THE HECK, GUYS?! I can't believe it's gotten this many reads so quickly! I guess I'm doing something right... Perhaps. Anyhoozles, I'm back at school now so the torture begins (for another month D:)**_

 _ **But anyway, enough with being stupid x'D Here's the next chapter and I hope it's all good nd stuff like that (these author's notes are getting worse and worse I swear)**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

Well, I can honestly say that, judging by the over-the-top appearance of Tsukiyama, I have to say that I'm a little disappointed. The place he instructed me to go to is nothing but a petite cafe that hugs one of the small streets of the 20th Ward, which surprises me since I thought Anteiku was the only one. No, it's just the one I have to work at until it literally feels as if my bones have been ground into dust. I have Touka to thank for that bull.

Nonetheless, I guess I can't judge a book by its cover; I did that with Kaneki and look where I am now. He's probably the only guy in this entire freaking world I can actually trust! I'm sure that, whatever it is that awaits me behind these doors, it's going to be much more intimidating than what I'm currently looking at. And I'm terrified.

Swallowing a deep breath, I shakily grip onto the handle of the door, applying pressure until I hear the click that signals that I'm free to enter. As I do, a small bell jungles merrily, though its chime cuts through me uncomfortably, causing my nerves to swell in an instant. Man, this is so freaky! To know I'm gonna be all alone with the purple pervert in a deserted cafe creeps the shit outta me. But it's my own fault; I'm too scared to tell Kaneki the truth, so I don't have any choice but to go through this to conceal my secret. I never want him to find out about what I really am.

"Good evening, Rin-kun! Glad you could join me on this delightful night," Tsukiyama giggles from the corner of the shop, a shiver instantly shooting up my spine as I mechanically turn to face him, my muscles extremely tense and not showing any signs of uncoiling themselves from their tightened states. Just brilliant. "Don't be shy. Why not come and sit with me?" Because you'll waste no time in ripping my freaking flesh apart! Well... That's what I wanna say. However, I keep my mouth shut, stiffly walking over to him, treating him as I have since the second I met him: like a predator.

"Tsukiyama," I say with so little emotion, you'd think that I'm nothing but a machine who's been programmed to say it, my hands gripped into fists as I take a seat opposite him, the light that illuminates the shop causing the shine on his indigo hair to glow golden. As I do, he giggles a small bit, his eyes never breaking from mine as I settle into the chair, though the tension is obvious in the way I move.

"Relax, Rin-kun. You're my guest," he mutters too pleasantly, only making me fear him even more; the way that he's acting so nonchalant when I know what he's going to do to me is enough to freak me out to the max. But I can't let him notice my terror, my lips pressing themselves into a straight line as I attempt to let my muscles loosen, Tsukiyama taking a sip of his coffee. Why the heck is he wasting time with formality? I wish he'd just get to it so I can leave! Then again, the thought of going home to a furious Kaneki kinda puts me off that idea. I swear, today has just been one huge screw-up after the next.

"Why're you agreeing to keep my secret?" I mutter, taking the cup that he pushes in my direction, clasping it in my palms as I slurp up a steady sip, observing him over the rim as he pulls a sweet smile, pushing his hair to the side. It's a genuine question; I don't understand why he'd do such a thing. Is my flesh really enough payment for it?

"Because who am I to break apart a bond you rely on so heavily?" He says with an innocent ring to his tone, shrugging his shoulders as he swallows another mouthful. "You clearly need Kaneki-kun, even if you're too stubborn to admit it. But... Who'd ever love a demon like yourself?" I swear, it takes everything I have to keep my coffee in my mouth, ready to do a spit-take as my eyes widen, choking down my drink before gasping in a breath.

"Love?! I-I don't freaking love him!" I exclaim, complete disbelief clinging to my tone as I try to emphasize that fact. Kaneki and I... we're just friends for God's sake! I mean, sure, he kissed me, but that wasn't even a freaking kiss! That was just a blood transfer from his mouth to mine. He had to do it! Why the heck would Tsukiyama think that what we have is anything beyond a friendship formed by the wholehearted trust we share? But... why does the idea also appeal to me?

"I may not be able to smell emotions, but I'm able to read people extremely well. And I see your feelings etched into every action you take. You'll put yourself in pain to avoid losing him. You don't want to hurt him by telling him where you truly are, for you know he'll try to intervene and will end up injured if he did. All you do is to protect him, though you most likely can't see it. These are acts of love." The more Tsukiyama explains, the more I find myself believing him. True, I'm doing all of these things so that Kaneki isn't put in harm's way, but I never even considered that I'm doing them out of love. Am I? Is that really the case? Besides, even if it was, I can't ever feel that way knowing I'm keeping all of these secrets from him. It just wouldn't be fair.

Noticing the silence, Tsukiyama sighs, finishing off his drink and setting it down on the table in a gentle manner. "I apologize. I've been wasting time with this idle chit-chat," he mutters with a shrug, my stomach already beginning to coil at his words. As he gets up, I too gulp down the rest of my drink, however, when I go to stand, my world suddenly starts swaying from side to side, everything in my vision beginning to blur together.

"What... What the hell have you done to me?!" I cry out, feeling myself grow more and more unstable with every single breath I take, barely able to take in the oxygen I need in a calm manner. In response, Tsukiyama merely giggles, placing his finger on my chest as I desperately try to blink my eyesight back, a veil of black cloaking it.

"Well I certainly can't let you leave. Not when you can run back to Kaneki-kun and tell him of my location. I'm keeping you all for myself," he whispers in my ear, my trembling hand diving into my pocket as I desperately search for my cell. This is gonna be near impossible, but if Tsukiyama's really gonna keep me holed up here whilst using me as his daily fix, I need to send Kaneki some kind of message. Anything to trace me here so that he can come save me.

"Why would I tell him?! I-It makes no sense!" I wail, trying to buy myself time as my fingers skim over the touch-screen, tapping in a message that I hope will reach him, if it's coherent enough. Since I'm currently completely blind, my pulse racing at a mile a minute whilst every finger twitches with trembles, I probably won't make any sense. But I try, texting the name of the cafe to him before I slide my phone back into my pocket. Wait a second... What if I didn't even get it to the right person?!

"Because you clearly have a certain distaste for me, as does Kaneki-kun. No doubt he'd love to see me dead," Tsukiyama spits bitterly, his forceful hands shoving me up against the wall, knocking the air out if me in an instant until I'm gulping it back down again. "But I intend to get what I want. Kaneki-kun's flesh will be mine," he suddenly growls, my blind eyes widening in terror at his words. Was this... A set up?!

"This was your plan all along?! To lure me here, promising to keep my secret, just to get to Kaneki?!" I hiss, my pulse getting weaker all of a sudden, causing my limbs to go limp. It's as if... I'm falling asleep. Shit! If he gets my message, as well as understands it, I would've led Kaneki right into Tsukiyama's trap! That bastard! As a final, and desperate, attempt to lash out, I try to activate my flames, focusing all of my energy into igniting them. However, as expected, whatever drugs he's put into my drink have drained me way too much to even hope to call forth my powers. I'm useless.

"Tres bien, Rin-kun. I would never dare allow demon flesh to grace my lips with its venom," Tsukiyama snarls, my knees beginning to buckle, causing my body to crash to the ground with a pained cry. "Enjoy your sleep. You won't want to miss the show~!" He chimes before I feel myself lose all consciousness.

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V**_

I swear to God, when I get my hands on Rin, I'm gonna freaking kill him! Though he was successful in drugging me, apparently, sleeping drops for humans aren't enough to pin me down for the entire night, my eyes blinking themselves open mere hours after Rin forced me into slumber. That asshole! How dare he do such a thing when all I've done for him is help him in any way I possibly can. And this is the thanks I get?!

Sighing in frustration, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, rubbing my face with my hands whilst a groan escapes me, though it doesn't last too long since I'm interrupted by the violent buzzing of my cell, which hums from its place in the sheets. Checking the clock, I notice the time, being that it's around 2am. Who the heck would be calling at that time?!

With a frown, I flip my phone's screen to face me, my eyes narrowing into a glare when I realize that Rin's the one trying to contact me, a reluctance to pick up beginning to well within me. The bastard fucking drugged me! Why the heck should I even consider answering him?! Even still, I launch the call, pressing my cell to my ear whilst a frown knits over my eyebrows, irritation taking possession of me.

"You have some nerve calling me, Rin! I swear, you don't even know what I'm gonna do to you when you get back here!" I snap angrily, not feeling guilty in the slightest; I'm so pissed off that he's clearly keeping secrets from me, going as far as to drug me in order to escape undetected. Well screw his bullshit! I'm honestly done with being nice to him if this is how he's going to treat me! However, that outlook on my relationship with Rin quickly alters when the voice on the other end of the line doesn't match up to the one I'm used to hearing.

"He doesn't have to imagine. He's already suffering it," a voice giggles, my stomach caving the second I realize that the speaker is none other than Tsukiyama, his overly-sweet tone twisting ice into my nerves.

"What the fuck have you done to him?!" I yell down the phone, trying to act intimidating when I'm truly terrified inside; I remember what he did to me. I remember how damn frightening it was having no idea that I was in for such a thing. Please... Please tell me he's not doing the same thing to Rin!

"Oh nothing. Well... Barely anything," he chimes in a tone that makes me wince; it's so chilling, causing him to appear as more of a psychopath than I already know him to be. And it only gets worse when there's a slight pause, only for Rin's screams to echo down the phone after I make out the sound of slicing flesh. What the fuck's happening?!

"Leave him alone!" I cry, my heart pounding against my chest with such a fast pace, it physically aches. How did he get to Rin?! What the hell is he even doing to him?! There are so many questions that I need answered, though I can't wait for them; Rin's in agony, that much I can tell from his pained sobbing on Tsukiyama's end of the line.

"Oh I'll leave him alone. Of course, you must give me something in return-"

"-Kaneki don't! Don't do what he says; he wants to kill you! He wants your flesh!" Rin wails, though he's suddenly silenced by a harsh slapping sound that causes me to go rigid, my eyes welling up with tears that tumble down my cheeks when I hear the sickening sound of flesh being pierced, Rin screaming out in agony again.

"Tsukiyama please! I-I'll do anything!" I beg, unable to take this any more; I don't want Rin getting hurt. I vowed that I'd never let anyone get harmed because of me! There's no way I can just abandon Rin, even if it means that I have to take his place. He doesn't deserve this pain!

"Come to Délice and, only then, will I discuss the subject of payment. Oh and there _is_ one more thing... After half an hour, I'll tear off a finger of his for every minute longer you take. Tick tock, Kaneki-kun~!" And with that, the line goes deathly silent.


	12. Chapter 12: That's What You Get

_**A/N**_

 _ **Can I just say... PARAMORE YAAAAASSSS :D**_

 _ **(sorry)**_

 _ **So I wrote this chapter instantly after I finished the last one. I didn't intend for that to happen, but it did x'D I wrote the first line and then just kept going. I blinked and the whole thing was there :3**_

 _ **But yeah, last chapter escalated into a plot twist that I honestly didn't plan, therefore, I've had to reassess my plan for what was going to happen, though it'll make all you KaneRin shippers out there very happy, I promise you ^^**_

 _ **Anyhoozles, ima leave now :3**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

"Does the little demon not like pain?" Tsukiyama growls, pushing his kagune further into my stomach, causing me to wail out in agony, hating myself for giving him the exact reaction he's after. But I can't help it; this burning pain amounts to torture because he refuses to stop, jamming his ribbon-like blade through my abdomen every time it heals over again, constantly punching holes in my body. I can't imagine I look like much more than a bloody pile of flesh and bones. "Come on. Why don't you fight back?" He giggles, twisting his kagune so that my insides churn along with it, a cry tearing from my lungs whilst more tears run down my face. "Use those pretty little demon powers of yours!" He spits, wrenching his arm back and leaving my blood to pour from my open wound in what most would see as an endless flow.

"S-Screw you," I hiss, not daring to do what he wishes for me to. I know that he wants me to activate my powers; if I do and Kaneki shows up when they're out in the open, he'll feel betrayed because I've lied to him. And Tsukiyama will use that moment of weakness to get to him. Like fuck I'm gonna let that happen!

"What a shame," Tsukiyama sighs, his eyes flickering up to the clock, observing the time. But I've been counting every minute; it's kept my mind off of the pain, though I can't say it's done a great job at it. It was 26 minutes ago that he called Kaneki. Which means that he has 4 minutes left to get here before my fingers start getting sliced off, one per minute as Tsukiyama promised.

However, he then turns back to me, a sickening smirk on his lips that causes my heart to take another leap out of around a hundred, his kagune slamming through me again, forcing blood to rise to my mouth, which I cough out with a strangled choke. Fucking hell... This pain. I honestly don't know how much longer I can take this! "I can't wait. Soon I'll have Kaneki-kun all to myself~!" Tsukiyama cries, as if in ecstasy, making me feel sick towards his sheer excitement to tear the flesh off of another ghoul. I'm seriously surprised that he hasn't tried to take mine yet, though, apparently, demon flesh amounts to the taste of poison to ghouls. Hey, I'm not complaining!

"You're a sick bastard," I choke as he once again tugs his kagune free, forcing blood to spill at a faster rate, all of it pooling on the floor in a crimson puddle that soaks my clothing. However, he doesn't respond, his eyes tracking back to the clock, like he's an eager kid waiting for midnight on Christmas Eve. Or is that just me?

Just as the hand ticks round to mark 29 minutes, the door suddenly crashes open and the sound of ragged pants tears through the air in an instant, though they hitch into a gasp that I know all too well by now.

"Rin!" Kaneki cries, my eyes barely open enough to see him make a dart towards me, though Tsukiyama calmly steps in front of me before he can even get close. "Get out of my way," he growls at the purple pervert, who doesn't shift an inch.

"I knew you wouldn't disappoint me, Kaneki-kun," Tsukiyama chimes, the rabid excitement clear in his tone, though I swear I can't hear anything right now; I've lost so much blood, everything's just filtering into my ears in muffled clumps of speech. But at least I can vaguely make out what they're saying.

"What the fuck do you want from me?! I'll give you anything. Just... Let him go," Kaneki whimpers, already sounding so defeated, as if he's given up before he's even tried. That asshole! He goes around telling me that I should be strong and that it's a good thing to never give up or give in and then here he is, going down without a fight!

"Kaneki you hypocrite!" I gasp through my agony, Tsukiyama turning to face me, as if surprised that I'm actually still conscious, a glare quickly causing his eyes to narrow into threatening slits. "Don't just hand yourself over! Fight, you damn idiot!" I yell, or at least I think it was a yell. To be honest, I'll be surprised if that came out as anything more than a whisper with the weakness I feel, despite my wounds already healing, the skin reformed over my stomach.

"Don't you dare interrupt!" Tsukiyama screams, readying his kagune to plunge itself into my abdomen for probably a fifth time. However, when I wince, awaiting the impact and the pain that will follow, I soon pry my eyes open when it doesn't come. What I see instead is a crimson limb curled around Tsukiyama's arm, gripping it firmly in place.

"Rin's right. There was a time when I would just give up. There was a time when I was too weak to even try! Too bad that that's long in the past!" Kaneki snarls, his kakugan blazing as he increases the clamp that his kagune has on Tsukiyama's arm, causing the purple perv to wail out in pain when blood begins to leak from the wounds that Kaneki's making. "You've put me through hell again and again and I'm sick of it!" He continues, sliding the second of his four limbs into Tsukiyama's kagune, pushing it outwards until the indigo, ribbon-like blade begins to crack, Tsukiyama screaming out in agony. "I'll fucking kill you," he suddenly growls in an eerie tone that I don't think I've heard before from him. Only once, which was when he nearly severed my foot with his kagune the other day.

Getting to my feet, my body swaying as I try to balance myself, I drag my limp form over to Kaneki, my eyes fixating with his, though all I can see is a lust to spill blood quivering in his irises.

"Kaneki. Stop it. You don't have to kill him," I breathe, hating how weak I sound, though I can barely help it; I've just had a hole blown through my stomach... Four damn times! Even still, I can't let Kaneki do this; he's going to lose it if he lets himself kill Tsukiyama. The guy's a perverted ass who deserves death, but I'm not gonna let Kaneki do this. I don't want _anyone_ , not even the purple pervert, dying because of me.

"He hurt you, Rin," Kaneki spits, still completely focused on ending Tsukiyama's life, his kagune wrapped around him wherever it can to hold him steady, his gaze not breaking away as blood slithers over Tsukiyama's violet suit. He's not gonna stop. He's... He's smiling.

"Kaneki stop it!" I shout, grabbing onto his arm, though, with one rough jerk, he tosses me to the side, my legs giving way instantly since I'm too weak to fight back. However, I know that I have to when I notice him curling two of his kagune's limbs around Tsukiyama's waist, creating a ring that encompasses his middle. One increase in pressure and the purple perv will be split in half! "I said stop it, dammit!" I cry, feeling a sudden burning sensation, as well as energy, surge to the base of my back, my eyes squeezing themselves shut as the agony rips through me.

However, when I hear a wail of pain escape from Kaneki, I force them open again to see something that both terrifies and amazes me. Writhing in front of me, four blue limbs, similar to Kaneki's, motion around the area where Kaneki was just holding Tsukiyama. However, now, he's no longer stuck in Kaneki's grip, the kagune that bound him now severed, clearly causing Kaneki an extreme amount of pain. But my action brings him back, the agony snapping him out of his almost insane haze, his eyes widening when he realizes what lies in his vision.

"What did I..." He starts, though he finds himself unable to finish, his gaze locked with Tsukiyama's bleeding form that lies sprawled out on the floor, groans of pain slipping from him. Whilst he tries to adapt, I feel the blue limbs receding back to my tailbone, feeling a little impressed with myself that I finally summoned my own kagune, though I don't think I really know how to use it yet. That was just an impulse thing and, though I'm glad that I didn't, I have no idea how I didn't erupt into flames just then.

"It's alright, Kaneki. Everything's alright," I ensure him, his eyes quickly flickering towards me, a sigh escaping from him as complete and utter relief swamps his features. The second I'm on my feet, I envelop him in a hug, wrapping my arms around him whilst his link around my waist, my eyes catching sight of his kagune once again growing back from where I cut it.

"I just lost control. I was so angry," he chokes, though I just hush him and hold him closer, keeping my gaze fixed with Tsukiyama, scared that he's gonna suddenly jump up and try to kill the both of us in our vulnerable states.

"It's fine. You're alright now," I say in the most soothing way I can, though my tone shakes a little with fear. Seeing Kaneki completely out if it like that, as if no-one can truly reach him, is something that seriously terrifies me. Because he transforms into someone I don't even know. "Come on. Let's just go home; I'm exhausted," I murmur, feeling Kaneki nod against my shoulder, both of us pulling out and giving the other a small smile, though I notice that Kaneki's eyes are glossed over with tears.

Still, we both make our way towards the exit, not as weary of Tsukiyama as we previously were since he doesn't seem to pose any kind of huge threat any more; it's as if he's generally down for the count. And I can't really say I'm surprised; Kaneki really beat the shit outta him when you think about it. I mean, he nearly cut the guy in half!

However, just as I push the door open, taking the lead, I hear a sudden shift in movement before the breaking of skin echoes through the air, my body unable to turn around quick enough to stop what just happened. But I can still see it.

Pierced through Kaneki's abdomen so that the indigo tip protrudes through his front, Tsukiyama's kagune twists itself into his stomach before he wrenches it out again, falling back to the ground with a defeated sigh.

In an instant, Kaneki doubles over in pain, crying out as blood begins to rapidly pour out of the wound, running over the bare arms that he clamps around the wound to staunch the blood flow. With panic bristling my nerves, I do the only thing I can think of, being to scoop Kaneki up in my arms and make a break for it before Tsukiyama can do any more damage. Shit! Why the fuck did I stop paying attention to him?! This is all my freaking fault!

However, it gets to a point where my vision doesn't stop shifting, my knees growing weak until I can barely support my own weight, and I have to steer us down an alley before I finally collapse, Kaneki wailing in pain as we both hit the floor. Why hasn't he regenerated yet? Does it take longer for him or something?! Or maybe... Maybe I just heal extremely fast because I'm also a demon.

Still, that doesn't stop the fact that Kaneki's bleeding... A lot. It just won't stop, the crimson substance pulsing from the wound with each strained breath he takes, though I can barely do anything since, every time I go to move, my entire world blurs and my head goes all fuzzy, as if I'm about to pass out.

"That bastard," Kaneki hisses, wincing in pain as he clutches his arms closer to him, pressing them against his stomach with a choked cry. He's in pain. He's in pain and it's all my fault. So I should make up for it in some way, though I have no idea how.

Until one comes to me.

Using most of the strength I have, I pull Kaneki up off of the ground, holding him steady as my trembling hands tug down the neckline of my tee so that it rests against my shoulder, exposing where my neck links to my body. Flesh makes ghouls stronger, right?

"Eat. It'll help. But I don't think you're gonna like the taste of another ghoul's flesh," I mutter, unable to look Kaneki in the eye as he draws in a startled breath, shaking his head as his gaze darts away, as if trying to not tempt himself. Well I'd be lying if I said I thought he'd to it without encouragement.

"I can't. I-I won't hurt you!" He cries, though he ends up letting out a gasp of pain as the action begins him clear agony, his eyes squeezing themselves together whilst his teeth clamp onto his bottom lip.

"Come on, Kaneki. Just do it!" I snap, not wanting to see him suffer any more. This flesh will heal him quicker and help him regain his strength, even though the whole 'demon' part of it might not taste all that appealing to begin with. I wonder if he'll know that my blood is demon by consuming it. Right now, I don't care; all I want is for him to restore his health and be well again. It's my fault he's in this mess. I was a freaking idiot. Now I have to pay the price.

"Rin... Don't make me-"

"-Just eat, dammit!" I demand, getting real tired of his reluctance to do as I tell him. So, knowing that there's no way I'm gonna convince him myself, my hand feels around for something sharp. A shard of glass perhaps? And, since this is an alley, it doesn't take me long to locate a piece of broken bottle, pressing the glass against my skin until it breaks, blood beading on the surface.

Instantly, I watch Kaneki's eyes widen a little, staring at the droplet of ruby that forms from the tiny cut, as if mesmerized by it. Then, without even looking to me for permission, he latches his teeth onto my shoulder, a gasp of pain escaping me as I feel him forcefully rip chunks of my flesh away in his mouth, the tearing sensation stinging like a bitch. But it'll heal him. That's all I care about.

However, it gets to the point where he keeps going, as if he's unable to stop, his teeth constantly tearing away more and more of my shoulder until he gradually moves down my arm, blood already tumbling from the wounds he's making in rivers. "Okay, Kaneki. That's enough. You can stop now," I breathe, starting to feel weak as my hands tremble, my body temperature beginning to drop. Is it cold... Or is it just me? "Kaneki!" I try to cry, though it comes out as more of a whisper, my vision clouding whilst objects around me become distorted and warped. And Kaneki just keeps eating.

And eating...

And... Eating...


	13. Chapter 13: Counting Stars

_**A/N**_

 _ **ALL YOU SHIPPERS**_

 _ **GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER RIGHT NOW**_

 _ **BECAUSE IT'S TIME**_

 _ **That is all**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V**_

 _I had no idea that Rin's flesh tasted this way; despite being something that other ghouls aren't supposed to feed on for fear of becoming a kakuja, I can't help but find the essence that his blood holds completely addictive. Weaving over my tongue and down my throat in scarlet ribbons, Rin's blood leaves a sweet taste in its wake, bringing me a euphoric rush that I can't say I've felt before._

Open your eyes. _A voice in the back of my head echoes, though I desperately shove it down into the corner of my brain that it's trying to emerge from, continuing to rip his flesh away from his bones whilst I gasp down breaths of ecstasy._ Look at him. _It hisses, making its feeble attempt to halt me, though I can't deny that it slows me down, my desire to consume more of Rin's flesh beginning to ebb a little. Why should I stop? I've been depriving myself of what I need for so long. And, with each new mouthful, I feel power start to swell through me again, as if it's bringing me back to life._ But it's wrong. You're hurting him. Open your eyes, dammit!

With a sharp gasp, I instantly break away from Rin's body, gulping down oxygen whilst my pulse jumps into overdrive, my mind still trying to recover itself from the haze of blood-lust that devoured me the second Rin exposed his flesh to me. The second that happened, I lost it. I know I did. Because, when I allow myself to finally look in Rin's direction, all I'm able to see are splatters of crimson everywhere, his blood staining each individual surface that surrounds him. Including myself.

Upon my body, I wear a layer of the ruby liquid that I siphoned from him, the colour clouding over the innocent ivory of my skin to taunt me about the monster I've become. The one that I've tried to suppress for so long. But I was weak; I allowed it to consume me and now Rin's suffering because of it.

"Rin?" I whimper, placing a shaking hand on his uninjured shoulder, the one that he allowed me to feed from pretty much mauled, making it appear as an ugly assortment of ripped flesh and slick blood that refuses to stop flowing. However, he gives me no response, his eyes sealed shut, causing his dark eyelashes to emphasize the paleness of his skin.

Biting down on my lip, I try to shake him awake, my trembling only increasing when he doesn't show me any signs that he's alive. "Rin please wake up!" I beg, tears rolling from my eyes from the fear that's welling in my stomach. He can't be dead; I didn't go _that_ far... Did I? "Wake up, dammit!" I whisper, giving up in my efforts when he refuses to shift in any way at all, though a small groan of what I can instantly determine as pain whines from his throat, a sigh of relief escaping me. But that doesn't excuse the fact that I've torn his shoulder to shreds.

With no other choice but to do so, I gradually get to my feet before I bend over and wrap my arms around him, cradling him against my abdomen, which has fully healed, though my shirt's still torn and has blood coating the fabric. Even still, I press him closer to me, holding him as if he's more fragile than a baby, as I slowly make my way back to my apartment, hoping with all my heart that he'll heal as quickly as possible so that he's not in agony for any longer than he needs to be. Because I can't bear it knowing that I'm the one that caused it.

Whilst I walk, Rin releases a few more whines of pain, a wince constantly possessing his features that just makes my stomach churn with guilt; I haven't cared about someone as much as I do for him in such a long time, and I've betrayed his trust by taking more from him than I needed. I let impulse completely override me and now it's lead to this. Hurting him is the last thing I'd want to do, yet that's exactly what's happened. All because of my damn weakness.

Though it seems to take forever since I have my own thoughts to contend with as I internally beat myself up for Rin's suffering, we eventually make it back to my apartment. And, since my arms are full, I have to rely on my kagune to pry my keys out of my pocket, as well as unlock the door and further push it open to allow us entry. Most people probably don't understand that a kagune's useful for more things than just fighting.

The second I'm able to, I make my way over to my bedroom and gently settle Rin down on the bed, my eyes unable to break away from his shoulder, despite the fact that all of the flesh has already grown back to make it seem as if I never even attacked him in the first place. But not even the lack of scars can convince me that I didn't. I lashed out and he was harmed. It was my fault.

Unable to let myself go near him, I merely press my back against the wall before sliding down it, holing myself up in the corner as I just stare at where his shirt has torn so that his shoulder's become exposed, my heart aching without any kind of definite end. Why should I deserve consolation? Why should I deserve to even let myself close to him so that the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes is me? I shouldn't, that much is extremely simple. "I'm sorry, Rin," I whimper before breaking down into tears.

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

Shit I ache! I mean, damn! What the heck happened to me?! All I can remember is escaping from Tsukiyama's place before I collapsed in the alley. With a start, as well as a gasp, I jump out of unconsciousness when I recall exactly what happened before I passed out. Kaneki... He wouldn't stop. No matter how much I begged him to, he refused to stop feasting on my flesh until I couldn't take the strain any more.

However, when I bolt up in a matter of seconds, I find myself extremely confused when my eyes scan around, expecting to see the dank alley that I collapsed in. Instead, I'm nestled in the sheets of Kaneki's bed, their warm embrace comforting me and my aching limbs that complain with each movement. But it's tolerable.

Instantly, my eyes scan around for Kaneki, a mixture of both worry and fear pulsing through my nerves as I seek him out; he's clearly no longer in an unstable frame of mind otherwise there's no way I'd be back here right now. But what if he's still on the edge of sanity, fighting to stay there? I have no idea what to expect.

But that doesn't stop me from instantly running over to him when my eyes locate him in the corner of the room, his head pressed to his knees whilst his entire body shudders with what I can only think of as being sobs, pain twisting through my heart when I see him in this way. He looks so broken.

Crouching down in front of him, I gently place my hand on his shoulder, his eyes flying up to display the element of panic and fear that possesses his silver irises, though it settles a little when he notices that it's me and not some random person coming to attack him. And, though I give him a small smile, he refuses to look me in the eye, his gaze flickering away whilst a crystal bead tumbles down his cheek, catching the moonlight so that it flickers like a flame.

"Don't cry," I say, tilting my head to try and catch his eyes, though he instantly flicks them in the other direction when I get close, causing both irritation and sorrow to gradually grow in the pits of my stomach. "Kaneki," I mutter, though he doesn't dare look at me, his teeth catching on his bottom lip, as if it's difficult for him to completely ignore me.

I know why he's acting this way; he blames himself for what happened. He thinks it's his fault for me passing out, though it wasn't solely down to his actions. I'd already spent the entire night being Tsukiyama's punching-bag, so that alone was enough to drive me to the edge of consciousness. The extra blood loss that occurred when I sacrificed my flesh to heal Kaneki faster was just the hurdle that I couldn't get over, my body shutting itself down to catch up on the sleep it had lost. And even then, _I_ made him eat. He didn't want to, but I tempted him. If anyone's to blame, it's me!

"I'm so sorry, Rin," Kaneki suddenly croaks, still staring at the floor as opposed to at me, the weakness that I detect in his voice making something within me twist. I wish he wouldn't instantly snap to thinking that this was all his fault! Not if it causes him this much pain. With a sigh, I place my hand on his face, forcing his tear-filled eyes to lock with my own.

"You're not to blame. So stop it. Stop acting like you are!" I demand, his silver orbs widening with shock since he clearly didn't expect me to start yelling at him, though I can barely help it. The more he places himself at fault, the more emotional turmoil he's forcing himself to suffer. And it's unnecessary. However, my words don't have the intended effect; despite having his chin gripped between my fingers, he still finds a way to break eye-contact.

"If I'd carried on, I would've killed you. So how the fuck is it not my fault?!" He cries, a few more tears slipping from the corners of his eyes, which he forces to a close as if to try and stop them from falling, though it doesn't work at all. Shaking my head, I increase the grip one of my hands has on his shoulder, giving him a rough shake as if it'll get some sense into him.

"I _made_ you eat my flesh! You didn't want to but I pushed you to do it! I just wanted to end your pain. You had nothing to do with it!" I snap, clearly being taken over by the anger that rages through my blood; why can't he just open his eyes and realize that I'm willing to accept the blame?!

"You made me eat your flesh, yes. But you didn't make me rip your shoulder to shreds! I did that all on my own!" He wails, finally looking me in the eye, his shuddering with fear, as well as tears that form sleek, silver ribbons over his cheeks when he turns his face to catch the moonlight. Knowing that I'm not going to convince him any other way, I pull him into a tight hug, my arms enveloping him whilst I bury my face into his shoulder, his body hesitantly accepting my embrace.

"Alright. It was both of our faults. We're just stupid idiots who don't know how to go one night without some shit happening. Can we at least agree on that?" I murmur, able to feel his heart against my chest as it pounds frantically, a few of his sobs echoing in the air that surrounds us. However, I'm also able to notice him nodding weakly, his grip on me increasing with a small whimper.

"I don't understand, Rin. Why... Why do you insist on making me feel better?" Kaneki whispers from over my shoulder, causing me to pull out so that I can lock my gaze with his, my finger catching a tear that crawls out of his left eye, his kakugan glowing through the darkness. Giving him a crooked smile, I shrug, though I only do so to buy me time to take hold of his chin. And, when I do, I pull him closer to me until our lips connect.

I have to admit, I never really thought that I was... You know... Into guys. But holy shit, there's no way I can deny it when I realize how amazingly perfect this feels, my lips suckling at Kaneki's so softly, it feels like feathers are brushing against my mouth. With my heart pounding against my chest, I curl my arms around Kaneki, closing the distance between us so that the kiss can deepen, a feeling of addiction beginning to swell. I don't want to stop; this is like nothing I've experienced before!

However, there comes a point where Kaneki and I must break apart, though I keep my forehead rested against his whilst our hands intertwine with one another, my pulse drumming heavily in my ears. I can't believe I just kissed him. But, in the same way, it doesn't surprise me at all. I think, ever since that mouth-to-mouth transfer of blood, I've always craved to feel the touch of his lips again.

"Does that answer your question?"


	14. Chapter 14: Last Night

_**A/N**_

 _ **So there was more I wanted to get into this chapter, I'm not gonna lie. But even still, I had fun writing this chapter just because it's freaking happy for once! I mean, not that MY OTP FREAKING KISSING wasn't happy.**_

 _ **Be honest, how many of you fangirled when that happened? Because I died a little... Ngl...**_

 _ **Anyhoo, now y'all get to watch them get all cute and couply now :D**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

With a soft moan slipping from the back of my throat, I allow my eyes to lazily flutter open, though I instantly shut them again when they're attacked with the light that floods the room from the morning sun. And, though I'd usually throw my arm over my eyes to shield them from the overexposure, I'm unable to this morning as they're protectively cradling Kaneki against me, my left one draped around his waist as he softly sleeps.

After what happened last night, I realized that he's a million times more fragile than I ever would've thought; he always acts so strong and capable when around me. I think last night was the first time I ever saw him show true weakness and fear. And it was horrible. Which is why I swore to myself that I'd protect him as much as I can since he seems to be doing the exact same for me as well. It's time I got my shit together and returned the favor.

With a small whimper, Kaneki begins to stir in my arms, a couple of groans sounding from him as he drags his head off of the pillow, waiting a few seconds before looking over his shoulder to find me smiling at him a little. Tugging the corner of his mouth into an appreciative smirk, he rests his head down again, sighing as he holds onto my arms.

"I thought it was a dream," he mutters in a tone that I can only describe as relieved, to which I respond by giving him a reassuring squeeze, though I can feel my cheeks starting to burn with a blush. I have to admit, I didn't know where that came from... The kiss, I mean. And, though most would say it was just random and out of nowhere, that isn't really how it feels. I definitely meant it. I just don't know if Kaneki will think of it in that way.

"Well it wasn't. I really... C-Care about you, Kaneki," I stutter, cringing at how awkwardly it came out. I can't help it; I've never felt this way about anyone before! Cut me some damn slack, will ya! Laughing a little, Kaneki rolls onto his other side so that I can lock my eyes with his silver ones, which catch the sunlight to glow even brighter.

"You've never done this before, have you?" He giggles, only making my face go an even deeper shade of ruby, though I'm unable to hide it from him since he's literally inches away from me. And there's no way in hell I _can't_ blush! I have no idea what's wrong with me! Is this seriously what it's like to be crushing on someone? Sighing, I shake my head, only making him chuckle more.

"Never," I respond with a whine, my forehead resting on his as I bite down on my lip, trying to stop myself from looking like a complete idiot whilst Kaneki just laughs, only making me feel worse. But he has every right to find the way I'm acting funny; I'm embarrassed as all hell!

"Don't worry. Neither have I," he admits, causing me enough surprise for me to gain the courage to face him, a frown knitted across me eyebrows. Is he being serious? How has someone like him never... You know... Had a girlfriend (or boyfriend) before?

"Wait... Was that your first kiss?" I ask, curiosity starting to consume me, pushing the redness in my cheeks down so that they're merely dusted a light salmon colour, though Kaneki's soon fade into how mine previously were, his eyes darting away as he nods. And the blush is back, my mouth opening to form words, though none come out. Well, none that I'm able to stop. "Seriously?! You're kidding!" I exclaim, though I clamp my lips shut when I realize that that was really stupid of me. Why the heck did I just say that?! Jesus, I never knew I was so awkward until today!

"Nope. Not kidding. I mean, unless you count when I transferred blood to your mouth... And I gotta say, it was better than I expected," he mutters, clearly seeing how red he can make me go if he keeps on talking about it, my entire face now a frenzy of blood that tickles my skin. I need to do something with myself, even if it's to just go and take a shower. This is just embarrassing.

However, as soon as I sit myself up to get out of bed, I feel a violent twist in my stomach that causes an ache to ring across my entire torso, a cry of unexpected pain slipping from me as I land back against the pillow again, my teeth gritted together.

"Shit. My stomach aches like a bitch!" I whine, clutching my arms around my abdomen as I groan, Kaneki frowning with confusion darting through his irises, as if he doesn't understand why I'm in pain. But he soon figures out I'm not lying when he also tries to get up, only to have the same reaction that I did. What the heck is wrong with us?!

"Damn, mine too," Kaneki hisses, using his finger to prod at his stomach whilst he just continues to frown, wincing when he pokes a specific area, being more around the middle of his torso. Mimicking him, I too find that that's where the pain is most potent, the occasional whine slipping from me.

Though, at first, I don't understand what could've caused this, I soon piece it together, though it seems that Kaneki does at exactly the same time. "Tsukiyama," he growls, anger also welling within me at the mention of that purple pervert's name. That bastard attacked both of us, shoving his kagune right through our stomachs, so I'm not surprised they hurt so much, despite being healed up. However, I find that the pain will be the least of our worries when I think about work. More specifically what Touka will do to us if we don't show.

"Uh, what are we gonna do about work today?" I ask, Kaneki looking to me with widened eyes when he realizes that we've completely forgotten about it, fear rippling in his irises. Groaning, he flops back on the pillow, his hand folding over his eyes.

"I'll call in for a sick day. I'm sure Touka-chan will understand," he sighs, using his free hand to search for his cell, quickly ensnaring it and dialing Touka's number, my nerves tingling with anxiousness. If she doesn't let us have the day off, we may as well kill each other because she'll just end our lives anyway.

After a few seconds of silence, Kaneki soon starts speaking with Touka, explaining what happened, as well as that he and I are in so much pain, we can barely move, which isn't much of an understatement. However, as he's begging for our lives, I test my stomach by sitting up again, wincing as the ache stabs at all of the nerves within my torso. But I guess I can bear it enough to move about the apartment. I just don't think I could go around waiting tables all day!

When Kaneki finally hangs up, he releases a small sigh, leaning against the head-board as I raise an eyebrow at him, as if to ask 'so are we dead or not?'. Smiling, Kaneki sits up as well, wincing as he does, until he's upright again with his legs neatly crossed. "She said we can take the day off," he says, my shoulders relaxing as the tension melts away from me. Well at least we're not gonna die today, though I can bet that she'll make us work doubly hard tomorrow to make up for it. But then I realize something that makes my heart sink a little.

"So what're we gonna do all day?" I murmur with a pout, already hating the idea of just sitting around doing absolutely nothing whilst we bitch about how much our stomachs ache. I have to do _something_ with myself to distract me from the pain!

"W-Well... We could go out... Just the two of us. I mean... We have nothing better to do," Kaneki suggests, not looking at me when I try to connect my gaze with his, something within me fluttering a little as I stare at him. Is he doing what I think he's doing?

"Are you asking me on a date?" I inquire with a small giggle towards how awkward he sounded when saying it, as if he's terrified of me rejecting him. But even still, if you wanna impress me, you gotta have confidence!

"Maybe," Kaneki mutters timidly, rolling the fabric of the sheets around his fingers whilst he balls the ends of his over-sized jumper's sleeves into his palms, still not connecting his eyes with mine. Then I get an idea, though I'm gonna feel really cruel for doing it. But the thought of his potential reaction just urges me to do it anyway.

"Well you better get up and ask me properly then! That was shit!" I demand, Kaneki's eyes flying up instantly, widened in disbelief, most likely because I'm making him ask me a second time when he had so much trouble with it the first. I'm such a cruel half-demon half-ghoul. Speaking of, it's getting real old having to hide my tail from him by now; ever since I came to Tokyo, I've had to curl it around my thigh of a nighttime so that Kaneki wouldn't be able to see it if he ever came in to comfort me, just as he did the other night. But I guess I'll have to live with it; I still don't want him knowing about the whole 'son of Satan' thing quite yet. If ever.

Whilst I've been consumed in thought, I don't notice that Kaneki's actually gotten to his feet, no longer sat in front of me. When I look to find him, I see that he's stood up straight beside the bed, one hand placed over his heart whilst he folds his other arm behind his back, kinda like a butler.

"Rin Okumura. Will you do me the honors of going on a date with me to the lakeside park this afternoon?" He asks all formally, glaring at me as if to say 'I hate you for making me do this' whilst I try to hold in my giggles, glad that this is hilarious as I expected it to be, and way more!

"Did it hurt to stand up?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, a laugh slipping from me between my words as I watch Kaneki nod before flopping back down on the bed, groaning as he cradles his stomach in his arms. Isn't it going to be fun trying to pry me out of these comforting sheets after seeing how badly it's affected Kaneki? Even still, how can I say no to him now when he's gone to so much effort to ask me?

"A shitload," he whines, making it so that I'm unable to hold in my laughter any more, giggles quickly tumbling from my mouth as I weave my hands through his hair, tangling its white strands around my fingers as I lightly chuckle.

"Of course I will," I reply softly, allowing one of my hands to trail down to the spot right between his shoulders, lightly rubbing it to release the tightness that I can feel there, Kaneki sighing a little in a way that makes me giggle. "Lower?" I question, Kaneki nodding a tiny bit as I work the heel of my hand a little below his shoulders, more appreciative sighs escaping from him as I expel all of the tension that's built up in his muscles.

Whilst I do, I can't help but realize the excitement that's starting to swell in my nerves, turning my cheeks a light shade of pink as I consider the fact that I'm gonna be going on an actual date with Kaneki. I mean, I've never properly dated someone before since that mission at the amusement park where I was paired up with Shiemi didn't really count. Much less have I been on a date with a _guy_.

But I'm excited, that much is easy to feel brewing within me. "As long as I don't get my hair wet," I threaten, Kaneki chuckling a little as he shakes his head, looking up at me with an honest look in his eyes to cloak the mischief that I can't help but notice.

"I promise."


	15. Chapter 15: Somebody To You

_**A/N**_

 _ **For all of you fangirls out there, this chapter's for you ;D I had so much damn fun writing it and almost died from fangirling on multiple occasions x'D But I'm alive and ready to get the next chapter written, where we get to see Blue Exorcist come more into the mix as opposed to just having Rin in the Tokyo Ghoul universe ;) I can't wait! But until then,**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

"I still freaking ache," I whine as I tug on one of Kaneki's sweaters, which I've stolen since I just feel like wearing his clothes today; mine get a bit boring after a while so I like to mix things up a bit. As I do, he just scowls at me, as if it's a sin for me to admire his clothing, though it does hang off of my shoulders and drown my torso since he's a few inches taller than I am. I guess it's because he's 19, whereas I only turned 16 a few months ago. "What?" I inquire, Kaneki just shaking his head as he roots around for something to cover the upper half of his body with. Seriously, he's been walking around in nothing but jeans on for at least the past five minutes. Not that that's a bad thing.

"I dunno what to wear," he mutters, pouting as he places a finger to his lips in thought, my shoulders slackening as I sigh.

"Clothes?" I suggest, giggling when Kaneki shoots a glare at me before going back to searching through his drawers, his brow creased in thought. I don't see why he's so worried about what to wear when we're only going to the park. Then again, we _are_ going on a date. Oh crap, now I feel really underdressed in Kaneki's over-sized, navy jumper and my ebony skinny-jeans.

"I guess this'll do," Kaneki suddenly mutters, pulling his head out of the array of clothing before him to hold up a white shirt with short sleeves that, if wet, would become extremely see-through. Stop right there with those looks! I'm not gonna try anything, jeez! But still.

Whilst he buttons the shirt up, I run my fingers through my hair, quickly darting into the bathroom to check how I look, as well as doing a breath-test and all of the other final protocols that every person about to go on a date does. And I have to say that I think I look pretty decent, which I wouldn't usually say. I mean, sure, the sweater matches my hair colour, which appears a little strange, but I'm sure that won't matter. If worse comes to worst, I can just take off the extra layer to reveal the tight, ivory tee I wear underneath, which barely conceals my tail. Though it'd be wise to wrap it around my leg, I decide against it since I'm pretty sure I don't plan on getting wet.

As I'm busy sorting myself out, I don't realize that Kaneki's behind me until his arms wrap around my front, his chin resting on my shoulder as he too looks into the mirror, placing a small wad of material in my palm. Of course... I forgot about the fact that I'm still a ghoul-in-training. Sighing, I slip the eye-patch on, blinking a few times to get myself used to the partial blindness again before facing Kaneki, whose hands move to hold my own.

"Ready?" I ask with a small smile, Kaneki nodding as he turns to exit the bathroom, though I do one final check before following suit, nerves fluttering in my stomach, making me feel a little anxious. Is it weird that I'm so desperate for this to go well?

* * *

"Rin, you know you're shaking, right?" Kaneki mutters as we enter the park, though we're barely close to the lake at this point. Nonetheless, we walked here with our hands laced together the whole time, though Kaneki's only just seemed to have noticed my nerves, my cheeks quickly flushing ruby.

"I-I am?" I stutter, though I know full well that I'm trembling like a leaf being attacked by the wind; I'm just so damn nervous. I mean, I've never been on a date before. How do they work? Does he expect me to kiss him again? Would it be bad if I did? I have no freaking idea and it's seriously stressing me out!

"Hey. Relax," he murmurs, looking me directly in the eyes as he simulates breathing calmly, encouraging me to take a deep breath through my nose, the air slipping from between my lips when I puff it out again. He's right. I really need to chill out and stop worrying. This is Kaneki, for Christ's sake! If there's anyone I _shouldn't_ be anxious around, it's him!

"Sorry. Just nervous," I admit, rubbing my nape sheepishly as I breathe a laugh, hoping that I can hide my blush from him, though it's probably burning as bright as a traffic light! That'd just be my luck, wouldn't it? In response, Kaneki giggles again, nudging me playfully in the shoulder, to which I respond with a false glare, only making him laugh more, the sun causing his silver irises to glimmer.

"Don't be," he assures with a soft smile, my eyes quickly looking away so that I don't have to let him know how much I love it when he does that, even though I'm only noticing it for the first time myself. But, now that I've started, I can't help but pick out all the small things that I find either adorable or extremely attractive. One thing I have learned, is that, whenever he's lying, he likes to place his hand around his chin. I have no idea where that little quirk came from but I kinda like it; not only does it tell me when he's speaking the truth or not, but it's just cute. Especially for a guy that seems more confident than I am when it comes to stuff like this.

Just as I go to speak again, a scent suddenly captures my attention, the sweet aroma curling into my nose to hug my senses, making my body relax a little as my eyes flicker around for the source.

"I smell coffee," I state, scanning the area in order to locate where it is that I can get some; after last night, I'm feeling so run down to the point where it's difficult to keep my cool around all of these humans. So much flesh in one place is tempting for a guy who had a hole punched through his stomach a grand total of five times, so you can't really blame me for feeling peckish. But there's no way I'd ever kill a human. No way in hell.

"I'll get you some if you give my hand its blood circulation back," Kaneki comments, drawing my attention to how I have his hand pretty much clamped in my own, draining it of colour until it's plaer than usual. In an instant, I release it, guilt rushing through me when he rubs his palm with a frown before his eyes fall upon my own. "You should've told me you were hungry," he sighs, apparently able to read me as easily as Yukio slams an F on all of my test papers. Shaking my head, I run my hand through my hair, brushing a chunk of it behind one of my pointed ears.

"I'm fine. I'm just craving coffee," I lie, unable to deny that there's hunger clawing at my stomach, though I push away the thought so that Kaneki isn't able to detect that I'm not telling the truth. Sighing a little, he once again takes my hand in his, both of us beginning to walk towards wherever the scent if coffee is emanating from. All I can do is appreciate that he's not gonna ask any more questions.

However, though we walk in silence, that doesn't mean that I don't hear anything; the constant sound of drumming heartbeats echo through my ears whenever we near any groups of people, my teeth clamping onto my bottom lip as I try to ignore it. But it's made difficult since, with every heavy beat I hear, my hunger begs for me to attack. But I can't. I won't. I just need something to drink. If I get some coffee, I'll be fine. At least... That's what I'm hoping.

"Don't worry. I'll get you something to eat tonight," Kaneki reassures, giving my hand a light squeeze that encourages a soft smile onto my face whilst the thudding of human hearts fades out of my head, leaving me to breathe a sigh of relief as I lean my head against his shoulder with a groan. Being a ghoul sucks. "Alright. Sit down and I'll get you some coffee," he mutters when we finally make it to the tiny cafe that makes its home in this park, people dotted around on the tables that surround the outside drinking area. Nodding, I follow his orders and seat myself in a plush armchair that's settled in the shade, drawing away the heat that's filtered into Kaneki's sweater.

If I could, I'd take it off, but I don't really think that's an option since my tail's slightly visible through the fabric of my shirt. Only now am I regretting keeping it there as opposed to curled around my thigh, cursing myself for once again not following my gut. Maybe, if I had more time, I could run to the bathroom and fix that. But, since Kaneki will probably be back any minute, I decide to stay put. I can take the heat, I guess.

As expected, he's back within a matter of minutes, placing a steaming mug down before me that just makes me feel warm again by just looking at it. Why isn't there such a thing as 'iced-coffee'? I mean, there's iced-tea, right? Even still, I clasp the drink between my hands and take quick mouthfuls, feeling the liquid starting to quell my hunger with every new sip. As I do, Kaneki just stares at me, a slightly concerned look in his eyes. "I think I've gotten you addicted to that stuff," he mutters with a frown, causing me to pull the mug away from my lips as I shake my head in denial.

"I'm not addicted!" I retaliate, Kaneki narrowing his eyes as he smirks, suddenly making a swipe for the mug in my hands, though I abruptly pull it back and cradle it against my chest, projecting hostility towards him as he begins to laugh. Dammit, he was freaking testing me and I failed! Then again, that wouldn't be the first time I've messed up on a test, even if it wasn't a written one.

"Totally addicted," he teases, giggling when I shoot him a glare over the rim of the mug, which I've placed against my lips once again so that I can finish the drink and get moving; we came here to hang out by the lake and we've not even gotten close to it yet!

Which is why, when I finally swallow the last sip, making a comment about how Anteiku coffee _does_ taste better, though beggars can't be choosers, we set off along a dirt path that's framed by trees, their delicately rustling leaves casting down an emerald hue onto the ground below, the sun poking holes through the natural canopy. And, though I'd love to admire the beauty, I can't help but focus on how much my stomach still rings with an uncomfortable ache, my arms wrapping around my abdomen as I frown.

"How long am I gonna ache for?!" I whine, capturing Kaneki's attention until his eyes lock with my own, though they flicker over my body to assess the way that I'm walking awkwardly, clearly in pain. Then, before I can stop him, he randomly scoops me up in his arms, a startled yelp crying out of my lungs as he does. "K-Kaneki!" I exclaim, starting to thrash around in his grip to break free; I don't want him picking me up in public like that! It's freaking embarrassing since it makes _me_ look like the weak one. Like the girl. "Put me down!" I yell, only causing Kaneki to laugh as he looks down at me and the pout I have painted on my features.

"You were the one complaining," he mutters, earning him a quick glare before he shrugs, gently placing me back on my feet with a smirk, though I'm too busy tugging his sweater back down past my tailbone to notice it. However, when I turn around to face him, he places his hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him. "You're not mad, are you?" He inquires with a giggle, my eyes widening whilst blood rushes to my cheeks, my heart already beginning to pound.

"N-No. I'm not mad," I mutter, looking away from him in the hopes that he didn't catch sight of my blush, though I think it's pretty hard to miss it since I feel as if I'm bright red in the face. However, as I do, I catch sight of light reflecting into my eyes, forcing me to squint in order to make out what's causing it. And, when I do, I find myself breaking out into a wide grin, grabbing Kaneki's hand all of a sudden. "I see the lake! Come on!" I enthuse excitedly, dragging him behind me like an excited child would with an older sibling. But I just can't help it; believe it or not, I quite like being around water. Which is strange... You know... Considering. Yep, the son of Satan likes water, though not so much being in it when I don't want to be. Bet you didn't see that one coming.

Eventually, the two of us break through the treeline, coming to a halt when the glimmering body of water swims into our view, an awestruck expression filling our faces when we take in the sight. Since it's around midday by now, the liquid is glistening in the afternoon sunlight, the golden rays being sent off of the surface in many different directions, causing the lake to ripple with beauty. In all honesty, it looks like a giant sapphire has been carved into nature itself.

Now, remember earlier when I made Kaneki promise that I wouldn't get my hair wet? Well, taking advantage of my state of complete and utter amazement, Kaneki's arms once again suddenly lift me off of the ground, though this time, he doesn't intend to carry me. And I can't even stop him before he does what he's probably been planning ever since I made such a big deal about going in the water.

With one swift toss, I find myself being plunged into the lake, the liquid enveloping my entire body as I become completely submerged, shock splintering through me at how damn cold it is, despite being practically boiled by the sun. I waste no time in surfacing again, coughing and spluttering whilst my hair clings to my forehead, dangling in front of my eyes in a similar way to how Kaneki's sweater hangs off of my shoulders, completely sodden. "KANEKI, YOU ASSHAT!" I yell at him, though he's too busy laughing his ass off to pay any attention to me, his knees resting against the grass that lines the banks so that he can giggle without fear of falling over. Oh I'm glad he finds this so _fucking hilarious_!

However, Kaneki eventually makes his way closer to the edge of the lake, looking down at me whilst I just glare at him through the soaked strands of my hair, which just causes him to laugh even more until it makes me feel genuinely pissed. Oh he's gonna freaking pay for this!

"Look who got their hair wet," he breathes through his giggles, suddenly giving me the perfect idea for how I plan to get revenge, my lips tugging into a smirk as I wade closer to him, wrapping my arms around the back of his neck, as if I'm about to pull him in for a kiss. And, as expected, he falls for it, allowing me to quickly tug him off of the bank, his body tumbling into the water on top of mine.

When we scrabble back up for air, we both gasp down sharp breaths, each of us coughing in unison since laughs are forcing their way out of our lungs, though it's nearly impossible to let them free without choking. However, eventually, we manage to calm ourselves down, Kaneki glowering at me whilst pushing his now-drenched, ivory bangs out of his angry eyes.

"Karma, bitch!" I shout, trying to sound intimidating, though it doesn't sound anywhere near as much as I was hoping since I'm interrupted by something that my eyes seek out without my consent. I won't really go into detail, but all I can say is that it involves Kaneki's shirt... Plus water. The second I feel my cheeks falling into a blush, I avert my eyes from his now extremely prominent abdominal muscles, biting down on my lip. Holy shit. Holy freaking shit. How the heck did I never pay attention to them before?! And how do I stop freaking out about them?!

Making matters worse (or better, depending on how you look at it), Kaneki's hands soon find my hips again, apparently fond of that area, so that he can bring me closer to him until our chests are pretty much touching, my eyes flickering up to meet with his. However, before I can take in his expression, or even any emotion that he may have upon his face, he suddenly leans in, forcing his lips to mine.

Though we're both tense to begin with, as soon as our lips melt into the other's, we both relax, holding onto one another as if we desperately need to do so in order to remain whole. As he kisses me, his hands cling to me, though it's not in the sort of way that you'd repulse. It's more of an embrace. And, though, whenever our lips touch, I don't ever want them to part, we eventually have to pull away, my forehead resting against his whist my hands hook onto his shoulders.

"Rin?" Kaneki mutters shyly, my eyes opening to meet with his quivering, silver ones, their flecks filled with so much emotion, it's difficult to determine which is most dominant. For now, I'm sure it doesn't really matter all that much; as long as he's with me, I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to him. Even if I put myself in danger. I'm gonna protect him.

"Yeah?" I breathe in response, both of us pulling a little further away so that we can properly look at the other, though our hands remain in place. That is, until Kaneki suddenly hugs me, his arms wrapping around my sodden torso so that he can cling to me, his face buried into my shoulder.

"I'm never gonna leave you," he replies, holding me close against him as if he can't bear to let me go completely, cradling my body as if I'm broken. Well... I guess I am, even when I don't feel it. My life's just been one fuck up after the other. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Because, now that I think about it, my biggest curse has given me my biggest blessing.

Becoming a ghoul gave me Kaneki. Someone to protect. Someone to care about more than myself. Someone who I'd do anything for just because seeing him hurt brings me physical pain. Someone who cries with me. Someone who makes me cry at the sight of his tears. Someone I can trust with anything.

Someone to fall in love with.


	16. Chapter 16: Who We Are

_**A/N**_

 _ **I have an unhealthy urge to cuddle Yoichi... Ngl**_

 _ **Sorry, Owari No Seraph has taken up my day today since I have no more of the manga to read (damn month-long updates ;-;) so I decided to take a break and do a little writing. And, obviously, I chose this story :D**_

 _ **And all the people who want Yukio and the others to show up**_

 _ **ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!**_

 _ **That'll make sense later I promise**_

 _ **So, anyhoozles, ima shut up and let you get on whilst I cry about not being able to hug a fictional character to death**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

"Rin," a soft voice murmurs, quickly followed by a gentle prodding that flutters against my cheek, causing me to whimper a little as I curl up tighter, my hand ensnaring the fabric that lies in my palm. "Rin, wake up," it mutters soothingly again, this time earning a groan in response as opposed to something smaller since my body's determined to kick me out of slumber before I can get too much rest.

"Five more minutes," I whine, burying my face into my pillow, though I know that my pillow's actually a person, whose hand is weaving through my hair as he continues to lightly poke my face in an attempt to wake me up. However, when he chuckles, I feel his chest moving with the motion and know that there's no way I'm gonna get back to sleep now. He knows I'm awake.

"Nice try. But it's sunset, Rin. You slept all day," Kaneki giggles, my eyes quickly flying open when I realize what he's saying. Is he being serious?! Did I honestly just randomly crash during our date? Oh crap, now I feel like a total jackass! We were having so much fun as well, so I don't get how I managed to freaking _fall asleep_!

"How did that happen?" I ask groggily, my voice being deepened by sleep's ever-present claws, which are desperately trying to drag me back down into its depths. But they stop the second Kaneki places a tiny kiss on my lips, causing my eyes to widen as a blush simultaneously blossoms across my cheeks. Damn, why do I always act all shy when he kisses me?

"We were trying to dry off in the sun and you fell asleep on my chest," Kaneki explains, causing my face to dive into a darker shade of salmon, my eyes flickering away from his whilst I bite down on my lip, feeling like an absolute wimp for blushing at such a thing. But I can't help it; apparently, I'm more awkward when it comes to relationship stuff than I first thought. Even still, I feel terrible. I mean, we came here for a date and I ended up falling asleep on him!

"Jeez, some boyfriend I am," I mumble under my breath, gradually locking my gaze with Kaneki's again, though his eyes are slightly widened with a blush similar to my own creeping onto his cheeks. He looks completely lost for words... Which is a first. "What?" I ask, confused as to why he's looking at me as if I've just told him something extremely shocking and he has no idea how to react to it.

"Y-You said boyfriend," he says in the most sheepish tone I think I've ever heard from him, a shyness that he barely presents to me starting to take over his actions, his eyes fluttering to the left so that he doesn't have to meet my gaze. Smiling softly, I reach for one of his hands, tilting my head to the side before I press my lips to his, though it's only for a few seconds so that I can get his attention again. And, when his silver orbs fixate on me again, I sneak a smirk onto the corner of my mouth.

"Isn't this what boyfriends do?" I murmur a little flirtatiously, wanting to burst into laughter when I watch Kaneki's cheeks rush from a subtle pink to a bright red, my teeth hooking onto my bottom lip to prevent myself from doing so. This shy side of him is way too much fun to play around with! But it's the truth; we're doing all the stuff that couples do, right? You know... Kissing, going on dates, wearing each-others' clothes. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that sounds like a relationship to me. And I guess there's also the fact that we'd do anything to protect the other, no matter what it may be.

"I-I guess," he stutters, barely able to look at me without going a deeper shade of ruby, which is something that I just find both adorable and hilarious. However, I can't deny that my stomach flutters a little with his words as he pretty much confirms that we're officially a couple, prompting me to lean in and pepper a small kiss on his cheek, feeling the heat of the blood that's gathered there against my lips.

"You think we should head back?" I question, pulling away so that I can get to my feet before offering a hand to Kaneki, who shyly takes it so that he can also stand, though I end up pouting when I realize that he's still a few inches taller than I am. Why do _I_ have to be the short one?!

Without giving a verbal reply, Kaneki laces his hand in my own, cradling it softly as we begin to make our way out of the park, which is pretty much completely empty by this point since the sun's making its way into slumber, staining the sky overhead with a medley of amber and violet to create the hue of dusk. However, as we do, we pass by a small group of stragglers, a bunch of teenagers hanging out around the exit of the park, each joking with one another about petty things like the pictures that they posted on Facebook last night to humiliate their friends and shit like that. But that isn't what I'm focusing on; instead, my ears are more interested in the throbbing of their pulses, hammering against my skull in a way that makes my head start to ache.

"Rin, you gotta calm down," Kaneki murmurs from my left, clearly noticing the way that I've suddenly gone tense, my muscles all tight whilst my hand clamps onto his similar to how it did earlier. I can't help it; I can _hear_ their blood pulsing through them. I can practically smell the metallic essence of the crimson liquid that seeks a home within their flesh. _Flesh. I'm so damn hungry._ "Rin!" Kaneki suddenly snaps, quickly tugging me out of the blood lust that was desperately trying to pull me under, my eyes breaking away from the group of teens as I shake my head to try and focus on anything but their heartbeats.

"I know. I'm not gonna kill anyone," I mutter, though I can't help but feel as if I'm also scolding myself at the same time; for a moment there, I wasn't me any more. I was the ghoul that I'm trying to keep hidden. The one that's desperate to feed off of human flesh, dead or alive. "Let's just go," I say bluntly, Kaneki giving a simple nod before we carry on, leaving behind the temptation that's clawing at my senses.

* * *

I'm not sure how long we walk for, though all I'm certain of is that, with every step, my hunger seems to increase, my stomach demanding the sustenance that it requires whilst my mind screams at me to feed whenever we pass by any humans. Each time we do, Kaneki's grip on my hand tightens in either assurance or restraint. Nonetheless, it usually works, however, we've ensured that we take the more abandoned routes that are devoid of human life in order to make this easy on me until we can finally find something to eat.

Speaking of which, after snaking through an extremely complex network of alleyways, Kaneki and I eventually break out of the confines of the narrow passages, exiting to find ourselves wandering around a desolate bridge that seems to be completely empty, no signs of life anywhere. Well that's a good thing, I guess. You know... Considering.

Taking it slow whilst also using our kagunes to assist us since there doesn't seem to be any people around, Kaneki and I scale down the steep drop that lies to the right of the bridge, hopping down to the ground when we're close enough to do so without injuring ourselves. And, when I finally allow my eyes to scan around the surrounding area, what I see reminds me of the first day Kaneki and I met. Because I find my gaze locking with the dead one of a human boy's body, his limbs twisted and mangled at unnatural angles. And, though I wish to feel guilt, I can't help myself. I'm so freaking hungry!

Without any kind of self-restraint, which I hate, I plunge my teeth into the male's flesh, tearing away at his body bite after bite until I've eaten down to the bone, gradually moving along the entirety of his arm until I've pretty much stripped it clean. All the while, I have an awful feeling of self-hatred for what I've become. This is wrong. It's disgusting. I'm feeding off of the corpse of a boy who'd been so devoid of hope, he'd rather have died than continue living. What I'm doing is below human. Below demonic. I'm a freaking monster and that's never gonna change.

Literally the second I pull away, wiping my mouth so that I can swipe away the cold blood that speckles my lips, I suddenly feel a sharp slicing sensation splinter across my back, a cry of pain wailing from me as blood begins to pour from the wound.

"Rin!" Kaneki exclaims, my gaze whirling around to see a female with raging eyes staring at me, a lustful grin on her lips whilst an aqua-coloured kagune dangles next to her, looking a lot like a tail. Kaneki told me about all of the kagune types at some point, this one appearing to be a Bikaku, meaning that I should be extremely careful when fighting her since they have an advantage against Rinaku types such as Kaneki and I. Yeah yeah laugh it out. _Rin_ aku.

"You took my food from me," she whines, her malicious grin sending shocks of ice through my nervous system, though I merely grit my teeth and unravel my kagune, preparing to strike her through the chest to kill her quickly. However, when I lash at her, she effortlessly leaps out of the way with a giggle, her body rotating in the air in the form of a back-flip before she lands just behind Kaneki, her evil eyes glimmering from behind his left shoulder. And, whilst staring right at me, she sinks her teeth into his shoulder before either of us can even react.

The second I watch his blood erupt from the wound, a scream of agony tearing from his lungs as she clamps down harder, her kagune wrapping around his stomach to hold him in place whilst her hands grip around his arms, something in me snaps. Something that I never wanted to have break. But how the fuck can I help it? She's hurting him. _She's hurting Kaneki._

 _With fury engulfing me, a low growl starts to hum in the back of my throat, my kagune writhing like a collection of four angry serpents, desperate to rip their prey to shreds. Which is exactly what I allow it to do, sending the razor-sharp limbs towards her at a blinding speed, slicing both of her arms away so that she's forced to release Kaneki, a shriek of pain screaming from her as she stumbles back, giving me the perfect opportunity to destroy everything she is. After taking one simple command, my kagune heavily shoves Kaneki to the side whilst the other two limbs pierce right through her chest, blood streaming from her mouth as she spits out rounds of it, staining the floor ruby. Her flesh. I must consume her flesh too._

"Rin! It's over! She's dead!" Kaneki suddenly cries out, breaking me out of the hold of my ghoul side, causing me to shake my head to shift the grip that it had secured around my mind. And, when I do, I notice the limp body of the ghoul being skewered by my kagune, though I quickly call it back with a startled gasp, trying to ignore all of the blood that coats it. As I do, I feel my hands beginning to slowly tremble, my teeth clamping onto my bottom lip. I... I didn't even know what I was doing. All I know is that, when I stared down at my kagune, there were blue sparks flickering around it. Nothing more, nothing less. They were there. I can only hope that Kaneki didn't see them.

"I... I don't know what happened. I just... I saw her attack you and... Everything went black," I stammer, only discovering how terribly my hands are shaking when Kaneki brings one of his into contact with it, though he decides to instead bundle me up in his arms, hushing me softly whilst I cling to him, staring at the ghoul's mangled body. I wanted to eat her. I wanted to consume her flesh. Why the fuck would I want to do that?!

"It's alright, Rin. She's dead now," he mutters, encouraging me to feebly nod against his chest as he places a gentle kiss on my hair, holding me closer to him so that I eventually have to break my eyes away from her. At least, from the way that he's treating me, I can confirm that he didn't see those sparks. That was so close. One moment longer and I would've burst into flames. I have Shura's non-stop training to thank for that one; when I first came to True Cross, they were so out of control, I could barely get them to do what I wanted. No doubt, if I were anything like I was then, then there's no way I would've been able to conceal the truth from Kaneki any longer. But I have, so I can be grateful for that much. He doesn't know. And he never will... Not as long as I can help it.

Just as I'm pulling away from Kaneki, gathering up a shaky breath, I hear a muffled vibrating sound buzzing from the pocket of my jeans, only to find out that it's my phone. How the heck did it not get completely destroyed after I got thrown into the lake?! Maybe my cell's indestructible. However, when I fish it out of my pocket, my eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, I find my eyes widening within seconds when I read the caller ID.

"Shit... It's my brother."


	17. Chapter 17: You Found Me

_**A/N**_

 _ **So this chapter took too long to write ._. I planned out most of the story the other night and, since we're gonna be moving onto the 2nd third of this story, I worked out that the 3rd third is gonna be starting at around chapter 31! So this story's gonna be long to say the least, which I really don't have a problem with. More time to spend with my OTP 3**_

 _ **Anyhoozles, ima let you get on now :3**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

Instant panic fills me with every passing second that the cell in my hand spends vibrating, desperately trying to encourage me to pick up so that I can have my ear screamed off by my brother. I don't need this. I don't need him calling now! Especially after everything that just happened; I know for a fact that he's gonna order me to go back to True Cross, but there's no way I can since I as good as lost control just now. How the fuck am I supposed to try and return to my old way of life when I'm still apparently unstable as a ghoul?

"Do I have to answer?" I whimper, looking up at Kaneki with worried eyes, though he appears to have no idea how to react in the slightest, his shoulders rolling into a shrug to confirm that he doesn't have a clue. Brilliant.

"You probably should. I mean, it's your brother. Even if it's the first time I'm hearing about him!" Kaneki somewhat snaps, forcing me to flinch with a nervous chuckle, only now realizing that I haven't ever mentioned Yukio to him in the time that we've spent together. What can I say? It never came up in conversation! But he doesn't understand; it's not that easy! If I answer, Yukio will know I'm in perfect shape to go home again. He'll be able to read it in my voice.

"But... He's gonna try to force me to go back to True Cross! I can't do that, Kaneki. Not after what just happened!" I exclaim, trying to convince him, as well as myself, why it would be perfectly fine to just ignore Yukio and act as if I have no idea that he's phoning me. But, if I did that, he might think that something terrible's happened to me. Why is it suddenly so hard to take a damn call?! Sighing, Kaneki pushes his hair out of his frustrated eyes, his hand weaving into my own as he gives me a small, yet reassuring, smile, my nerves quickly settling a little.

"It'll be fine, Rin. If you just explain without explaining, you won't have to go back," he murmurs soothingly, my eyes flickering back down to my cell as it continues to buzz for my attention, a breath hitching in my throat. Explain without explaining. Bend the truth. Is that really gonna work? I mean, Yukio's known me his whole life. I doubt he's gonna buy any bull I try to spout, though I don't think I really have a choice. He won't let up until I give in and answer his attempts to contact me.

Breathing in a shaky breath, I look at Kaneki one final time, his hand giving mine a tight squeeze before I finally hold down the green button, hesitantly pressing the phone against my pointed ear as I nibble on my bottom lip, the feeling of nervousness never fleeing from my system.

"H-Hey, Yukio!" I squeak, my voice cracking horribly as I do, which I instantly regret when Kaneki starts silently laughing, desperately trying to hold in his giggles so that he doesn't make any noise at all. Just brilliant; as well as waiting for my brother to chew me out, I have my freaking boyfriend taking the piss out of me at the same time!

"Rin! Where the heck have you been?! We've all been worried sick ever since we found out that you weren't with Mephisto!" Yukio yells down the phone, causing me to wince since his voice cries into my ear at such a high volume, it physically hurts. However, underneath all of the clear rage that wells within his tone, I also manage to detect the way it quivers with fear.

"Why would you think I was with that clown?" I inquire, frowning a little in confusion whilst Kaneki tries to process all of these strange nicknames, as well as the completely different attitude that I use when talking with my brother. But that's something I'd really like to know; the last he and Shiemi saw of me, I had just woken from my coma and disappeared to go find food. Where they got the idea that I've been with Mephisto this whole time confuses me.

"He told us that he was looking after you because your body was still recovering from the coma. But we overheard him talking with somebody about how he was concerned about your 'sudden disappearance'. Where the heck are you?" That freaking manipulative clown! I can take him lying to me, but bullshitting right to my brother's face is something that I'm never gonna stand for. Why the heck would he cover this up in such a way? Maybe he doesn't want Yukio and the others knowing about the whole 'ghoul' thing, which I guess I can understand. I wouldn't want them to find out either.

"I'm... Uh... In Tokyo," I admit in a high pitch, Kaneki's arm curling around my hip so that he can pull me a little closer to him, clearly aware of the fact that I'm kinda freaking out inside. I mean, I know that Yukio's gonna flip out when he registers that what I just said is the solid truth, and I'm not exactly ready for it.

"Tokyo?! What the heck are you doing there, Rin?! Why didn't you even bother to call or text any of us either?! We had no idea where the hell you've been for the past week and now you're telling me you're in Tokyo! Do you even care about us?!"

"Of course I care about you! You're my freaking family, Yukio! I didn't say anything because I needed to do this alone. I needed time to myself and you never would've given it to me! I ran away to Tokyo so that I could get away from everything. From the constant training and bitching about how I'm not good enough at what we do! I just wanted to escape!" I exclaim to my twin, Kaneki trying to latch his gaze onto mine, though I don't let him. Because it's actually the truth; before I became a ghoul, I was tempted to hightail it outta there anyway. It was all just becoming too much and I was in desperate need of a break, as were my powers. I wanted to know, for at least a few days, what it was like to be pretty much human again. But, as always, nothing ever turns out right for me.

"Look, Rin. I'm sorry if I made you feel pressured. But I need you to come home. Everyone's worried sick about you. You're coming back to True Cross whether you like it or not," Yukio somewhat growls in a more menacing tone than usual, my teeth continuing to fiddle with my bottom lip as I gnaw on it nervously. Why can't he understand that I can't come back?! I don't want to hurt anyone I care about and that's what'll happen if I go home. There's no way I'm strong enough to control my impulses as a ghoul, that much is already clear. Even when I tried, I would've fucked up if Kaneki hadn't have been there to deter my mind from the idea. If it wasn't for him, those teenagers back at the park would've probably been killed by my hand thanks to the hunger that I was feeling at the time.

"I don't wanna come back, Yukio," I mutter as bluntly as possible, closing my eyes as I let out a sigh through my nose, trying to keep a calm mind when the other end of the line goes silent for a few seconds, as if Yukio's finding it difficult to absorb what I've said. I want to... Damn, I want to see everyone again more than I can fathom. But if I do, they'll be in danger.

"You don't have a choice, Rin. Either you come back to True Cross or I'll come and get you myself." Then, with no other words, the call ends and I'm left to deal with the aftermath, my heart slowly beginning to pick up its pace whilst my blood freezes in my veins, causing my limbs to gently tremble. Usually, I wouldn't freak out about being threatened like that. But I know Yukio. He'll stop at nothing to make sure I do what he says.

"It's alright, Rin. Tokyo's huge. There's no way he's gonna find you," Kaneki tries to assure me, apparently able to hear the conversation between Yukio and I, as well as what my brother plans to do if I don't obey his command to return home. Sighing, I place my forehead in my palm, pushing my bangs out of my eyes, able to feel my skin prickling with sweat. Just great.

"This is my brother. He knows people who can track me down like hounds after a fox. They'd get hold of me before this time tomorrow," I mutter bluntly, falling into the cradle that Kaneki's arm creates around my shoulders as I think about Shura and her damn demons. Those things can hunt down any scent with no trouble at all. There's no way I can escape now that Yukio knows my vague location. "I guess I don't have a choice. I can't stay here because they'll find me," I state, groaning a little as my head falls onto Kaneki's chest, his hand running over my hair in a caring gesture that soothes my panicking a little, though my heart still pounds heavily through my veins.

"Well if you're going, then I'm coming with you," Kaneki suddenly states, my eyes instantly flying open as I pull away from him to study his face, a solid look of determination flickering through the silver flecks of his irises. He can't be serious! Would he really be willing to let go of the freedom that he has here to attend _school_?!

"Y-You're kidding, right?" I stutter, disbelief extremely evident in my tone, though the feeling only deepens when Kaneki confidently shakes his head, his hand sliding down my arm until he's able to twist our fingers together with a soft smile. With his other, he presses his palm against my cheek, allowing me to nestle my face into his touch, a sudden calmness flooding through me.

"I can see you're scared of what could happen. How could I leave you to fight that fear alone?" Kaneki inquires, though it's more of a statement than anything. This is him promising me that he's always gonna be there for me. This is him supporting me through whatever's gonna face me without hesitation. But still, I feel as if this is gonna be difficult for him too; I can't forget that Kaneki's also a ghoul, if only half like myself. And, though he's in control of his hunger much more than I possibly could be at this stage, there's always going to be that nagging temptation. And he'll be suffering through it because of me.

"I don't want you to put yourself in this position for me," I murmur, opening my eyes again so that I can fixate my gaze with his, the moonlight that floods down from the silver pendulum that dangles against a navy canvas illuminating his pale complexion whilst it simultaneously causes his ivory hair to possess its own glow. Again, he gives me a gentle smile, shaking his head before pulling me closer, his lips gracing my own in a feather-like touch that I'm beginning to get more than used to. I'm starting to crave it more and more each time.

Falling into the kiss, I respond by applying a little more pressure, my hands finding a home on his shoulders whilst one of his tangles around the back of my neck, the other holding me against him so that any space between us is finally sealed to a close. Eventually, one of my hands snakes around to his nape, my touch attempting to be delicate, though I fear that it's more forceful than intended. But Kaneki doesn't seem to care, and we remain this way until one of us buckles first, Kaneki pulling away to gasp down needed air.

Once we've broken apart, I bury my features into his shoulder, hugging him close to me so that he knows that, no matter what, I'm always gonna need him. Even though I feel guilty for making him suffer through things that he otherwise wouldn't get mixed up in, I can't deny it. I need him. And I think I probably always will.

"So... When's the next train to True Cross?"


	18. Chapter 18: Here We Go Again

_**A/N**_

 _ **CALLING ALL ARTISTS! So I would do this but I'm in no way talented enough so I'm calling out to you lovely peeps for this. I doubt people are gonna want to, but I would literally be so over the moon if people tried to draw fanart for this ship. I think it's a beautiful ship and the internet needs to know it! But it's up to you guys really. If you do decide that you want to try drawing some fanart though, you can email it to me at pokefever**_

 _ **I'd really appreciate it and would probably love you for the rest of my life**_

 _ **Anyhoozles, I'll shut up now and let you read :3**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

"I'm freaking out, Kaneki. What if I lose it? What if I hurt someone? What if they find out about me being a ghoul? They'll hate me. They'll be terrified. I don't wanna lose them; they're my only family. Oh God this was a bad idea. Is it too late to go back?" I mutter rapidly, pacing around the empty train car whilst I run my hands through my hair, every single muscle in my body tight and tense, too scared to relax. I can't help but panic like crazy; there are so many possibilities and potential things that could go wrong if I let myself rejoin my brother and everyone else. It would only take hunger and an accident on a mission for me to snap. I could hurt someone way too easily. I don't want to. I don't want anyone to be harmed because I can't control myself properly yet.

Before I can take another step, Kaneki's arms wrap around me from behind, halting me in my frustrated pacing so that he can hold me close to him in a comforting grip, my mind settling itself a little. Seriously, I'd love to know how he does that; it's like his touch alone is enough to soothe me.

"Stop worrying. You're gonna be fine. I promise," Kaneki whispers into my ear before he places a gentle kiss on the tip of it, a shiver running through me whilst my cheeks flush pink. It would be nice if he didn't try to seduce me with his soft words and calm attitude when we're literally minutes away from True Cross. Oh what am I saying... He got to me a _long_ time ago. However, despite his words, I can't allow these negative thoughts to uncoil from their tight knots in my brain, my eyes flickering down to look at the floor whilst the train car shudders a little.

"But it could happen. Admit it... You're worried about me losing it too," I mutter with a disheartened tone, Kaneki squeezing me a little tighter in the kind of consoling way that he's seemed to have mastered in the short time that we've been dating. Sighing, he rests his chin on my shoulder, his lips lightly brushing against my neck so that that area tingles eagerly.

"I'm not worried one bit," he murmurs, though I can't shake the thought that he's lying to me. If I were him, I'd be panicking as much as I am right now, especially after what he saw back there with that ghoul. I don't even remember attacking her. All I remember is hearing Kaneki's screams of pain and I blacked out, only to wake up again with the corpse of that girl dangling off of my kagune. I was lucky I didn't burst into flames then and there. That's seriously how close I was to completely snapping. And at the park? Heck, I would've killed those kids without a thought if Kaneki hadn't have reminded me of my morality. Even if he remains blind to it, there's no denying it. I'm becoming more of a monster than I've ever been in the past.

"My brother's gonna flip out," I groan, trying to find anything to change the conversation so that I don't have to dwell on the negativity that my brain apparently loves to roll around in just to scare the crap outta me. But it just switches to another daunting thought; Yukio's gonna kill me. I'll be surprised if he doesn't try to shoot me the second I walk off of the train! And then there's the fact that I have Kaneki with me. My _boyfriend_. Isn't that gonna be a fun one to explain?

"I'm sure he'll understand. Just... Explain without explaining, remember?"Kaneki advises, my head bobbing into a small nod before I turn it to look over my shoulder, smiling a little at Kaneki, even when he peppers a small kiss on my lips before uncurling his arms from me. I can only hope he's right; Yukio's extremely overprotective, that much is clear to everyone by this point. He hates the idea of anything bad happening to me. So the fact that I've just disappeared without a trace would obviously piss him off to the max. I just gotta explain... Kinda.

However, even though I feel pretty confident for about 2.4 seconds, when the train finally rolls into True Cross station, the nerves instantly start again, my panicked eyes flying to Kaneki the second my pulse begins to rocket. Shit. Yukio's seriously gonna kill me. Is it too late to run away? Is it too late to change my mind? "It's gonna be fine, Rin," Kaneki murmurs, placing his lips upon mine one last time before the doors open, both of us standing apart so that it doesn't look as if we were just making out. I think this reunion with my brother's gonna be hard enough without the inclusion of my newly-discovered gayness.

The second the doors part ways, I hesitantly step onto the platform, only to be tackle-hugged by who I can only guess is Yukio, his arms coiled around me so tight, I can barely breathe. But he doesn't seem to care; he just clings to me, as if for dear life, whilst my own arms gradually wrap around him as well. And, right now, I can't tell whether I should be scared of the ranting that's to come, or relieved that he didn't start bitching at me the second I got off the train.

"I'm so glad you're alright. I've been so damn worried, Rin! Damn you, you freaking idiot!" Yukio sobs, his features buried into my shoulder as he continues to squeeze all of the air out of me, the clamp that his arms have around me actually starting to hurt a little. See this is what happens when people with demon attributes get emotional. I'm seriously surprised that I haven't broken any of Kaneki's bones with my weird, demon strength.

"Stop crying, you big baby," I chuckle, though it's kinda more of a wheeze since I can't take in enough breath to talk properly. "Uh... Yukio? You think you can let me go? I can't breathe," I gasp, Yukio realizing that he's crushing me and releasing me instantly, readjusting his glasses with a nervous laugh, though it's contradictory to the tears that hold a place in the corners of his eyes. Damn... I really made him worry, didn't I? "I'm sorry,Yukio. I didn't mean to make you freak out this much," I mutter, my tone sounding a little embarrassed as my eyes flicker downwards to focus on my thumbs, which I twirl around one another.

"It's not just me, Rin. Everyone's been sick with worry. I just can't believe you didn't tell us. Not even a single call or text message. That would've been enough!" And here it comes. The rant that I deserve to suffer for what I did; he's right. I should've given them some kind of sign that I was alright instead of just pretending as if they stopped existing the second my life changed. I was just too scared.

"I don't wanna speak out of turn... But it's my fault," Kaneki's soft voice suddenly mutters, though it's nowhere near as sheepishly as I would've expected. What the heck is he doing?! I want him to start off on good terms with Yukio, though there's no way in hell that's gonna happen if he begins by telling my brother that he's responsible for me going missing.

"Who're you?" Yukio growls, already hostile, which is exactly what I didn't want. Well done, Kaneki. Way to make a good first impression! I swear, I would smack him upside the head right now if the air wasn't so thick with all of this damn tension.

"My name's Kaneki. I found Rin and, when he told me he wanted to get away for a while, I suggested Tokyo. I was also the one who advised against getting in contact with friends or family since he seemed as if he really wanted to distance himself from his everyday life for a bit. Don't blame him for it; he was just taking advice from me. I guess I can say I know how he felt and wanted to help." So that's how you explain without explaining? Damn... Kaneki's a million times better at it than I am; he didn't even flinch once, nor did he pause to think of what he was gonna say next. It just rolled right off of his tongue without any issues. That's talent right there.

"You're the one that told my brother to not contact us?!" Yukio spits, his hands balling up into angry fists as he takes a step forward towards Kaneki, though I jump between them, placing my hands on Yukio's shoulders to stop him from getting any closer. I don't exactly want my brother beating my boyfriend up after not only a minute of knowing him!

"He didn't force me to, Yukio. I just took his advice. Don't blame him; he's the only one I've had to rely on in Tokyo," I explain, Yukio's eyes quickly finding my own whilst a frown knits across his eyebrows, as if he doesn't understand why I'm defending Kaneki. I'd tell him but... I don't think now is the right time in all honesty. "Look. Does it matter? I'm back now, alright? So can we just get back and sleep? I'm exhausted," I mutter, Yukio looking over my shoulder at Kaneki before his gaze locks with mine again, the tension that had built up within his irises beginning to filter away as he sighs.

"Right. Let's get back," Yukio mutters, allowing my heart to breathe a sigh of relief as I look back to Kaneki, whose face is impossible to read at this moment in time. Even still, at least Yukio isn't gonna kill him, which is a plus, I guess. However, before Yukio takes a single step forward, he suddenly pauses. "He can stay in the dorms with us. I jumped to conclusions. I apologize, Kaneki," he says in a calm manner, my eyebrows instantly plucking up in surprise. Did he really just say that?! Like... Really? It's clear to see that Kaneki is just as shocked as I am when I turn around to show him my surprised grin, causing us both to giggle a little under our breaths. I wonder how Yukio's gonna like it living with two ghouls. Should be interesting.

* * *

"Home, sweet home!" I announce as we enter the old dorm block in which Yukio and I spend the majority of our time outside of school. And the first thing I can think to myself is that, the last time I was here, I wasn't even a ghoul. I was just as I had been for a year now: a half-demon, half-human. Thinking about it sends a pang of pain through my heart as I consider what would've happened if I hadn't left Yukio on that afternoon.

If I had stayed here, would things have gone differently? But, then again, if I allow myself to regret going into town on that day, it means I'm saying that I wish I'd never met Kaneki, which is definitely not the case. Had it not been for me becoming a ghoul, I never would've had him enter my life. It kinda makes the pain of everything that happened worth it when I look at what I got out of it, being a boyfriend that clearly cares about me more than he does himself.

"You have this entire place to yourselves?!" Kaneki gasps, clearly in a little bit of awe since he lives in an apartment that could barely squeeze two people in without bursting at the seams. So I completely understand why he's so amazed by the large amount of room that could easily house an entire grade of students.

"Yup. Every single floor belongs to yours truly," I boast, Yukio rolling his eyes as he gives me a playful bat around the back of my head with his hand, causing me to whine in protest as I flinch. I guess I shouldn't act like this place is the shit since it does kinda suck. Being the only two in an entire dorm block can get a little spooky some nights since, due to this place being so damn old, it whistles and whines whenever there's a little too much wind outside.

Before I can open my mouth to say anything more, there's a sudden voice echoing through my head, Yukio's ears twitching when he picks it up too, though Kaneki seems unfazed until Kuro bounds into me, the force from the impact sending me toppling to the ground.

 _Rin! Where did you go? Don't you like me any more? Is that why you left? It doesn't matter; I missed you so so so so much!_ Kuro wails over and over in in my mind as he nuzzles against my face, Kaneki breaking out into fits of laughter when he notices that I got knocked down by a freaking cat of all things. Well, from his point of view; I can honestly bet my life that he doesn't know about demons, as well as Kuro being one.

"I'm gonna go and get some sleep. See you both in the morning," Yukio mutters with a yawn, stretching himself out before lazily trudging up the stairs and out of view, though I can barely see since Kuro's constantly lapping at my face with his little tongue, his excitement sending twists of guilt through me. I feel awful for leaving him in the way I did, just as I do with all of the others. I really frightened them.

"Wow... Nothing's more of a turn on than watching your boyfriend get floored by a feline," Kaneki comments with giggle once he's sure that Yukio's gone, my eyes narrowing into a glare when I catch sight of his freaking smirking face. Seriously, there are times where I hate him, even though I also love him at the same time.

"Shut up!" I snap, only causing Kaneki to laugh more, much to my irritation, my eyebrow twitching a little as Kuro clambers off of me, starting to pad around Kaneki whilst giving him the occasional sniff. However, Kaneki suddenly stops his giggles, leaning a little closer with a smirk on his face that gives me uncomfortable chills.

"You gonna make me?" He whispers in an overly flirtatious tone, lessening the distance between us even more until our faces are inches apart, a perverted look flickering through his eyes as he pretty much tries to climb on top of me. Before he can, my hand ensnares my sword, which is still wrapped up in its crimson fabric, bringing it down hard on Kaneki's head.

"Pervert!" I cry out as Kaneki lets out a wail of pain, his hands instantly flying to his skull so that he can rub the sore spot where I just hit him, my cheeks bright red whilst my lips clamps themselves together into a scowl, though it makes me look like a vulnerable girl who was about to get touched up. Minus the girl part, that's exactly what was gonna happen and there's no way I'm gonna let Kaneki deny it. Freaking perv! "That's it. No kisses for you," I snarl, Kaneki suddenly looking up with widened eyes, disbelief burning through the silver in his irises in a way that causes a smirk of victory to form on my lips. That's what he gets for trying to get it on with me!

"You can't do that! That's like taking my coffee away... But worse!" Kaneki whines, though I sternly fold my arms and hold my ground, despite how badly I want to burst out into laughter. I have to act as if I have at least a tiny shred of authority in this relationship!

"Tough shit. You should've thought about that before you went into pervert mode!" I growl, a look of hurt darting through the flecks of Kaneki's eyes as he opens his mouth, as if to say something, though no words form. So, instead, he puffs his cheeks out into a pout and turns his back to me, crossing his arms like a little kid would do after getting told off by their parents. And it's freaking hilarious.

Breathing a laugh, I curl my fingers around his shoulders in an attempt to get his attention again, though he refuses to look my way, acting extremely stubborn in the way that he's determined to give me the silent treatment. "Come on, you big baby. Bedtime," I instruct before taking off up the stairs, sure that he'll eventually follow. If I know Kaneki, and I do, he can't stay mad at me for long. This thought is only confirmed when I reach the top of the stairs, only to have a pair of arms wrap around me from behind, Kaneki giving me a squeeze that sends waves of warmth through me.

"I'm sorry," he whimpers, cuddling me closer when I twist my head to place a soft kiss on his hair, instantly dissolving my own punishment. What can I say? I guess I can't stay mad at him either.


	19. Chapter 19: Unravel

_**A/N**_

 _ **It's a me, PikaGirl! Sorry... Mario isn't really appropriate x'D I don't really have much to say here :P**_

 _ **Anyhoozles, I'm gonna go now :3**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V**_

"So what am I supposed to do?!" I whine as I observe Rin tugging on his school blazer before he moves on to knotting his tie, which he does pretty damn well, may I add. I can barely get it right without screwing up at least once in the morning, despite wearing one each day for work. Perhaps I'm just crap at general life skills. However, I'm not really too focused on that train of thought right now; I'm too busy opposing the fact that Rin's abandoning me for the day to go to freaking school. I would, but since I only showed up last night, I haven't been able to enroll. And there's the fact of my age as well. There's no way I'd get into True Cross unless I lied, which is what I think Rin plans to have me do later on today when the school day ends. Until then, I have absolutely nothing to do with him gone!

"I dunno. Chill out in the dorm with Kuro or something," Rin suggests with a shrug, making my eyebrow twitch a little out of anger because he sounds as if he couldn't give less of a shit. Despite being completely and utterly in love with him, he does have a bad habit of pissing me off from time to time. "Don't look at me like that! I can't plan your day for you," Rin suddenly hisses, encouraging an agitated sigh out of me as I flop back on the bed, still clothed in only my black tee, which drowns my torso to hide my boxers. However, when I lie down, I stretch my arms over my head, exposing the lower half of my abdomen, which starts to tingle when it's hit with the cold, morning air.

"You're so unhelpful," I murmur with a pout, staring up at the ceiling overhead whilst I let out another huff of breath, Rin sitting himself down next to me so that he can curl my hand in his, sending spikes of warmth shooting up my arm.

"I'm only gonna be gone for a few hours. It's not the end of the world," he murmurs with a light chuckle, my eyes flickering in his direction so that I can meet his cobalt gaze, though I soon forward them so that they once again fall upon the area above. He's right and I hate it. I'm making out that this is a huge deal when, in reality, he's just going to school. I guess I just don't want him outta my sight because it seems that, every time he is, something goes horribly wrong and ends in blood.

Picking up on the anxiousness that swells within me the more I dwell on the thought, Rin leans down and peppers a few kisses on my cheek, gradually moving down until his lips are brushing against my neck in soft flutters that make me clutch his hand tighter. "Don't worry about me," Rin mutters softly, giving me one final kiss on my jaw before he pulls away again, releasing my hand so that he can get to his feet. I never realize how empty my fingers feel when they're not laced with his. It's easier said than done though; I'm seriously so worried that something bad's gonna happen to him just because I couldn't bear to lose him. That might sound drastic, but I can't help it. I _need_ Rin, more than I've ever needed anyone. He's the only one that can make me smile and mean it.

"Alright," I breathe reluctantly, watching as Rin smiles gently before pecking one final kiss on my lips, an instant craving for more igniting within me as I watch him leave for school, waving me goodbye with a small smile. I'm sure he'll be fine. At least... I hope he will be.

* * *

Hours. I spend hours doing absolutely nothing with myself. All I'm able to do in order to entertain my bored mind is to think about Rin whilst I stare up at the blank ceiling, a sigh escaping from me since I literally have nothing better to do. I don't need to study for anything, nor do I have any friends to locate so that I might be able to keep my mind off of the boredom. All of them are still back in Tokyo. Only now am I realizing how alone I am here in True Cross; the only person I know here and would want to spend time with is Rin. With him gone, I'm completely on my own.

At least, that's what I think, though something quickly changes my mind.

From the floor above where I currently am, being in the room that Rin and I now share since I kinda stole him from his brother, I start to make out faint thumping sounds, my eyebrows furrowing together in confusion as curiosity begins to swell within me. Yukio said that we were the only ones in this dorm, right? Perhaps it's Rin's weird-looking cat playing around or something. However, this theory is quickly abolished when the thud sounds louder, prompting me to sit upright with a frown. That's no animal; that's human. Which causes me to wonder who the heck it is up there.

Hopping off of the bed, I cautiously make my way through the hallways of the dorm block, all five of my senses jumping into overdrive as I try to listen out for anything else that might indicate just what the heck it is that's making so much damn noise. Still hesitant, I proceed up the stairs, my pace slowing with every step when the muffled thumping gets even louder the closer I get to it. Alright, there's no doubt in my mind that it's definitely a person, though I still have no idea why they'd be so interested in coming here of all places. What's so great about an abandoned dorm block?

When I place my foot on the landing of the upper floor, silence suddenly floods through the empty halls, causing me to pause instantly, fear admittedly spiking through my blood. It's not like I can help it; I'm all by myself in this huge building with no way of knowing who's managed to sneak in, as well as why. All I can hope is that they're a friend of Rin's or something, though I highly doubt that they'd use another entrance if that was the case. Besides, they'd know that he's at school as well. Alright, my damn head needs to shut itself up! It's just making me panic.

However, before I can advance any further, a figure suddenly reveals itself, casually stepping out of one of the rooms with a deadly gaze locked upon me, the eyes of a ghoul staring at me with a blood lust that I know all too well. In an instant, my kagune rips free from my tailbone, the four crimson limbs curling around me with curiosity, wondering whether or not they should attack.

"I knew I recognized you at the station. The Tokyo trash has returned. Isn't that just _wonderful_?" He snarls, using his hand to brush a chunk of of his chestnut hair out of his eyes, though he continues to glare at me in a way that I can't help but find intimidating, even though I know that I could easily take this guy. Besides, judging by the thin, tail-like kagune that slips into the air behind him, I can quickly make out that he's a Bikaku type, weak to my own kagune typing. I already have the advantage.

"How the fuck do you know me?" I spit, the limbs of my kagune growing stiffer and more aggressive, the ends of them sharpening themselves into vicious spikes that are ready to attack when given the simple command. However, I hold back; I'm intrigued to say the least, and it's my curiosity that settles the anger that buzzes through my veins.

"I saw you rescue little blue last month. I remember watching Shoki tear him to pieces. And it was so much fun to witness. It's a shame really; if she hadn't have been such a possessive bitch when it came to her prey, I probably would've joined in. His screams were like music," he sadistically giggles, an insane grin spreading across his lips that sends chills through my nervous system like an electric shock. Not because it scares me, but because I know I've looked like that before, even if I don't clearly remember it. I'm sure I have. However, with his words, rage starts to swell in my stomach, coiling tighter and tighter the more he laughs. "I saw him come home last night with you, his precious guard dog. I figured if I killed you, then I'd finally get to make him scream again!" He shrieks in an excited tone, my nails digging into my palms until slits form in my skin, blood trickling from the tiny wounds. He wants to kill me to get to Rin, does he?

 _Too bad._

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

Oh. My. God. I swear today lasted _forever_! I never knew how much the day dragged when you were looking forward to something until now. However, I guess it's been made much longer by Yukio's constant pestering about my eye patch. Seriously, he hasn't shut up about it since he noticed it this morning; apparently, he was too tired last night to point it out. However, today, he's not stopped going on and on about how I should go and get my eye looked at if there's something wrong with it. And I can't exactly say that I'm fine when I'm wearing a freaking eye patch! So I say what I always do in times like these.

"For the last time, Yukio! I can handle my own shit!" I growl as we enter to dorms once again, excitement tingling through me when I think about running up to Kaneki and giving him a huge hug. Seriously, a few hours without him has been like a living hell; he's all I've been able to think about and I've never wanted to cuddle someone so much in my entire life. Is this what love feels like? Or is it just me?

Before Yukio can snap back at me, I make a bolt for the stairs, practically throwing my bag to the side; I have to get Kaneki quickly since Cram School's gonna be starting in less than an hour. Though I don't plan on telling him that I'm a demon, I think it would help if he at least knew about their existence, as well as how to fight them since they pretty much swarm around me like a flies around a soda can on a hot day. Considering that they're everywhere, I'm honestly surprised we haven't had to deal with them sooner!

However, when I reach our room, Kaneki isn't anywhere to be seen, only the indent of where he's probably been sat all day imprinted on the bed sheets. Huh... Where the heck did he go? Shrugging, I decide that he's probably gone to take a look around the rest of the dorm since it's pretty huge and can be daunting if you don't know the full scale of it. The first thing I did when Yukio loosened my leash upon moving here was check out the rest of the building for anything that didn't seem right. Perhaps Kaneki's done the same.

Climbing up the stairs, I ensure that I keep an eye out for any lower level demons that could worm their way past Mephisto's barrier that might like to set up shop in the darkest corners of our dorm block, though none present themselves to me at this moment in time. Thank God. However, what I do find is something that chills my blood to the point of freezing when I finally round the corner, only to be met with the sight of Kaneki on his knees. Covered in blood.

"Kaneki!" I exclaim, dashing up to him in a panicked rush, my pulse thudding through my veins as I crash down to my knees next to him, my arm instantly cradling his shoulders as he just stares at the ground, as if detached from the world. However, the second he notices my touch, his watery eyes find my own, his single kakugan glowing viciously so that the crimson iris shares the color of the blood that's splattered around his mouth. Without a second of hesitation, he clings to me, burying his features into my shoulder as he sobs, the only thing I can do to calm him being to gently rub his back and hiss soft hushes to him.

"I'm sorry, Rin. I-I didn't mean to. I-I just... I couldn't stop myself," he chokes from within the depths of my blazer, the fabric becoming sodden with tears since I'm pretty much holding him as close to me as I possibly can. What the heck's happened in the few hours I've been gone that would cause him to have a breakdown as huge as this?!

"What happened?" I mutter soothingly, though I don't need that question answering when I finally redirect my gaze forward, my eyes falling upon a mangled pile of bones that are held together by strings of flesh, though most of it is stripped from the body of whoever this person was. I-It can't be. H-He wouldn't... Right?! "Kaneki... Please tell me you didn't," I whimper, having to bite into my bottom lip to stop the fearful tears from swelling in my eyes. At my words, Kaneki's grip on me increases, another sob sounding from him that instantly confirms that what I'm begging to be false is truth.

"H-He was a ghoul. H-He threatened to kill you. I-I couldn't let him, Rin. I-I was so scared. So a-angry. I lost control... And I ate him. I'm sorry! I-I'm so s-sorry!" Kaneki wails, clinging to me so that I'm able to feel him trembling in a way that breaks my heart; he feels so weak when I cradle him against me. Though I should probably feel angry at him for caving into his impulses when all he's ever told me is to hold back from doing just that, all I'm able to feel is sorrow. A sorrow that causes me to place a gentle kiss in his hair, my hand slipping into his so that I can give it a small squeeze of reassurance.

"It's over now, Kaneki. It's all over," I murmur in the calmest way I can, though I'm desperate to join him in his breakdown. Today was supposed to be when everything started going right for once in both of our lives. But that doesn't mean that it still can't happen from now on. "C'mon. Let's get this blood cleaned up; I've got something that might cheer you up a bit," I mutter with a soft smile, helping Kaneki to his feet, though his knees shake and he ends up having to lean on me for support. Hopefully meeting everyone in Cram School will make him feel better.


	20. Chapter 20: Everything's Alright

_**A/N**_

 _ **This chapter... Oh this chapter. It went in a different direction to what I intended... And I fucking love it :D Be prepared for something that I added in on impulse and definitely don't regret ;) (I'm such a freaking pervert ._.)**_

 _ **Anyhoozles, ima leave now :3**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

 _Rin? Why's your friend sad?_ Kuro's voice inquires in my head as he curiously nudges Kaneki, who's slumped on my bed whilst he waits to dry off so that we can go to Cram School, though we've probably missed at least half of it by now. However, he has his head bowed, the occasional tear dripping from his face so that it can splatter in a crystal puddle on the floor, each one sending more pain through my heart. I wish he wouldn't beat himself up about this so much, even though I'd probably do exactly the same if I were in his position. But since I'm not, I can't empathize. And I hate it.

Placing myself down next to him, I lace my arm around his quivering shoulders, his body still shaking just as it was when I was washing the blood off of him in the shower. Despite the water being boiling hot, it still didn't quell his terrified shivers. However, he doesn't seem to notice me, his eyes locked with a single spot on the floor in front of him, as if it'll reveal the end to his suffering if he stares at it long enough.

"Kaneki. Talk to me," I whisper in his ear, nuzzling my nose against his cheek as I pull him closer, a soft kiss fluttering over his skin when it comes into contact with my lips. I'm so damn worried about him; he's not said anything since he explained what had happened, remaining mute and distant. No matter what I do to try and reach him, he never responds. "Come on. You're scaring me," I continue, pressing my lips to his cheek a second time before I use my finger to sweep his hair away from his eyes, though it falls back almost instantly in a white veil that hides his emotions from me. It's as if the world is against me trying to soothe him.

Sighing, I drop my arm from around him, getting to my feet whilst my left hand pushes locks of navy away from my head, trying to settle the headache that's been summoned from me attempting to hold back my tears. What if he never goes back to normal? What if he remains as nothing but a lifeless shell forever? I can't just let that happen; the boy I love will disappear! I... I can't lose him! I just can't.

All of a sudden, I feel a freezing cold hand grasp onto my own, causing a breath to hitch in my throat before I whirl around to face Kaneki, who stares at me with a tearful gaze that breaks my heart, though I can't deny that I'm feeling a little better towards the fact that he's much more animated than before. However, he doesn't do just that; as soon as he's got me in his grip, he suddenly tugs me back towards him until my lips crash into his, a small whimper escaping from him as he clamps me in his grasp.

As usual, I don't resist him, though my head's spinning without any kind of definite end. I seriously don't understand how, one second, he's practically unable to do a single thing and then, the next, he's making out with me! Then again, it's not as if I'm complaining; the way that he kisses me with such a force, larger than he's ever used before, does something crazy to my stomach, sending it into tight coils. Especially when I feel his tongue dabbing against my lips, demanding entrance into my mouth.

I only hesitate for about half a second before I allow him to slip his tongue past my lips, gently lapping at my own as he pulls me even closer, a muffled moan whining from the back of my throat when I feel the heat of my body begin to rise in temperature. Speaking of my body, Kaneki's hands constantly weave over it, tracing the slight curves of my waist and hips until one of them slips over my butt, a startled squeak yelping through the frenching session as it does. This guy. Was he freaking planning this or something?

However, there comes a moment when I have to draw the line, being when I feel the free hand that isn't resting on my _freaking ass_ finding its way to the bottom of my shirt, most likely in an attempt to unbutton it so that he can just grant himself access to a larger portion of my bare skin. When I feel him fiddling with one of the buttons, my tail twitches nervously against my abdomen, as if it's reminding me that he can't see what's under my shirt; that would kinda blow the whole 'demon' thing.

Without thinking, I ensnare his wrist in my grip, causing his entire body to jump whilst he pulls away from me, frowning in confusion with his silver eyes stricken with perplexity; it's not like me to break up a kiss, but it's not exactly my fault. I don't want him to think I'm even more of a monster than I already am. That much I decided a long time ago.

Gently shaking my head, I rest my forehead against his, instead moving his hand so that it settles on my hip, his other soon enough following suit whilst I lace my arms around him, both of us breathing heavily whilst a thick blush spreads over my cheeks. And it doesn't help that I can feel the way that my pants have tightened around my crotch. Don't fucking judge me, alright? He just frenched me out of nowhere and proceeded to grab my butt! How could that _not_ give me a hard-on?

"You saw me naked in the shower. Payback," Kaneki murmurs softly, though his voice still sounds broken and quiet, causing a pang of pain to rush through me, though I try to push it away, placing a subtle kiss on the tip of Kaneki's nose. As I do, he giggles a tiny bit, clutching me tighter so that he can bury his face into my neck, the feeling of his lips gently caressing my skin lacing over that area. But he doesn't restrict it to a peppering of kisses; he starts to suckle at my neck whilst darting his tongue over different parts of it until he finally finds what he's looking for, a moan that I didn't even know I was gonna make slipping from me when he starts nibbling at an area just above my left collarbone, his lips tugging into a smirk against my skin. That damn bastard.

Instantly, I feel heat cluster to that area when he finally pulls away, though he keeps himself pressed against me so that he doesn't have to look me in the eye, which I'm kinda glad about right now. Not because I'm embarrassed... I'm just bright red in the face and would rather him not see it. I'm so damn lucky Yukio's teaching in Cram School right now; if he wasn't, he probably would've heard me moan like that. What the hell is wrong with me? Kaneki was just kissing my neck for Christ's sake, though I've always heard that each different person has some kind of 'sweet spot' on probably every part of their body. Lovely image, I know.

"If anyone at Cram School points this out, I'll kill you," I breathe with a soft chuckle, able to feel a hickey developing where his lips were, the frenzy of burning still tingling under my skin. I wonder if my demon/ghoul abilities will heal that one. Though I'm hoping so, it would be just my luck to have it stick around for everyone to see. At least I can cover it up; I'll just have to button my shirt up all the way. I'm sure nobody will notice.

* * *

"Rin... Are you sure these guys won't hate me?" Kaneki asks nervously, fumbling with the uniform that I managed to scrape from Yukio's cupboard so that he has something to wear that at least makes him look as if he belongs here. I mean, anywhere I am is where he belongs to be honest, but the guys would probably have a different opinion on that. Also... I wanted to see Kaneki in the uniform's oddly-tight pants. He's my boyfriend! I have permission to say stuff like that!

"They're gonna love you. But hopefully not too much; that's my job," I giggle, giving his hand a small squeeze before letting it drop to his side, my fingers feeling extremely empty when they're not intertwined with his. Biting on his lip, Kaneki nods, looking all shy and vulnerable as he nervously continues to fiddle with his tie, which I knotted for him since he was too busy kissing me to do it himself. Again, not complaining. "But I should probably go first," I murmur, Kaneki unable to agree quicker. Where the heck has this side of him suddenly come from; it seems that, the more time he spends with me, the softer his personality gets. I mean, when we first met, he was kind, but he barely showed emotion. Have I... Changed him?

Shaking my head, I place a tiny kiss on Kaneki's cheek before sucking in a deep breath, pressing my palms against the door so that I can gradually push it open. The second I apply pressure, it groans, as if in protest, before finally giving me access to the room. However, before I can take a single step forward, I find myself floored by a huge group of bodies hurtling into me, my name tearing from the lips of every person on top of me.

"Rin! You're back! Oh we missed you so much!" Shiemi chimes with a sweet giggle, hugging me so tightly, I soon lose the ability to breathe, which Shiemi notices, suddenly jumping off of me with a guilty expression whilst the guys help me to my feet. However, the second I'm upright again, Bon's arm suddenly grips around my neck, trapping me in a head-lock whilst I struggle for freedom.

"You ass! Don't you dare go disappearing on us again like that!" He growls, refusing to let me go until I promise him that I won't ever take off without any warning next time, though I'm not sure if it's a promise I can keep. I honestly hope so though; I don't like abandoning the people I care about without being able to tell them my reasoning.

"Rin, what happened to your eye? Does it need treating?" Shiemi gasps, her fingers delicately pressing themselves against my eye patch as she observes me with furrowed brows, though I back off a little whilst shaking my head, chuckling nervously as I rub my nape.

"It's fine. I'm fine. It's just good to be back," I explain, Shiemi smiling softly as she pulls me in for a warm hug, my arms curling around her in acceptance when I notice that she's actually crying, her body shuddering against mine in a way that sends stabs of guilt through me. Shit. I didn't wanna make her cry! Awh dammit! I'm such a damn jerk!

"Good to have ya back, buddy. But... Who's that guy?" Shima asks, brushing his salmon hair out of his eyes before indicating towards Kaneki with his finger, causing Kaneki to shrink into himself a little whilst gripping the sleeves of his blazer in his palms, nibbling on his bottom lip.

"He's a good friend of mine. He helped me survive in Tokyo. Saved my life actually," I explain, without explaining, everyone making 'o' shapes with their mouths in understanding before approaching Kaneki, Shima holding out his hand for him to shake.

"The name's Shima. Any buddy of Okumura's is a buddy of mine," he chimes happily, Kaneki shyly shaking his hand with a wobbly smile, though he seems to stand a little taller as a shred of confidence begins to show. At least he's not acting like a scared kid any more. Once Shima's done introducing himself, everyone else follows suit, each of them as accepting of Kaneki as the next, allowing my heart to breathe a sigh of relief. I mean, I didn't expect them to hate him, but still. These guys aren't the most trusting of people.

"Excuse me, class. If you're all done with show and tell, there's a demon in here waiting to be exorcised," Yukio calls to everyone, each of them scurrying back into class to avoid being punished by my ruthless brother, who won't be afraid to set a pack of rabid demons on us for not doing our homework. He's gotten super strict lately. However, before I follow behind them, I cast a look back to Kaneki, his eyes widened in disbelief as he just stares at me, as if unable to process something. What could he possibly-

Oh shit. I haven't given him the demon talk yet.


	21. Chapter 21: Demons

_**A/N**_

 _ **Omg this chapter made me giggle towards the end x'D I'll leave y'all to figure out why, but just know that it's gonna make people who ship BonxShima very happy :3**_

 _ **I love you guys so... ALL THE GAY :D**_

 _ **So anyhoozles, ima let you get on ;)**_

 _ **(this chapter's just preparing you for extreme feels next chapter... js)**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

"What's wrong? You've gone pale," I state whilst fiddling with the ends of my blazer's sleeves, my stomach coiling up with each new second I spend looking at my boyfriend's hopelessly perplexed expression. I honestly can't believe I forgot to mention that demons are an actual thing as opposed to nothing more than creatures of myth and legend. But I'm also surprised that he's never gotten suspicious before; it's obvious to any that meet Kuro that he's not a normal cat, yet Kaneki didn't even stop to question it! Then again, I guess I was just too scared to tell him about demons just in case he started to connect the dots that I've been desperately concealing from him from the day we met.

"'What's wrong'?! Are you fucking serious, Rin?! First of all, your brother's a freaking _teacher_! And not just an ordinary teacher; he's a fucking exorcist! Which brings me onto the second thing. Demons?!"Kaneki yells, finally releasig all of his pent up confusion in the form of a rage-filled rant, one that I can't exactly blame him for. However, that doesn't stop my ears from pressing themselves into the navy strands of my hair to hide away from the abrasive volume that they're being assaulted with, my body simultaneously flinching.

Noticing the way that I wince, Kaneki's features soon soften, a small sigh escaping from him as he rubs his face, a light groan seeping from the back of his throat. "Sorry. It's just... A lot to take in," he breathes, sounding a little defeated if I'm completely honest. I really don't think I've done him any good by bottling up all of this information just so I can spring it on him all in one go. And now I feel like a jerk for doing that to him.

"I should've said something earlier, I know. But you worry enough about me as it is. I didn't wanna make you worry even more by telling you that I fight actual demons," I admit, hanging my head with a heavy sigh, though I'm forced to look back up at Kaneki when he places a hand to my cheek, cradling it in the warmth of his palm. I can never tell when this guy's mad at me any more; it seems that, whenever I manage to piss him off, he instantly forgives me and treats it as if it's nothing. But, again, I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I can only hope that, if he ever finds out about what I really am, he'll have the same approach; I couldn't bear to lose him. I need him... More than I've needed anyone in a long time.

"Rin... I'm always gonna worry about you. Fighting demons or not, I'm never gonna stop being terrified of anything happening to you. But you could've at least given me a little bit of warning," Kaneki explains with a chuckle, pressing his forehead to mine after ensuring that the door into the classroom behind us is sealed to a close so that nobody inside there can see us doing 'coupley' things. Kaneki and I both agreed that it would probably be for the best that we keep the whole 'gay' thing a secret for now since everyone's already pissed off that I ditched them without any kind of warning. I don't exactly want to make things worse by revealing my sexuality to all of the people that think I'm 100% straight.

"Yeah I know. I'm a crappy boyfriend," I murmur with a pout, Kaneki giving my hand a tight squeeze before peppering a gentle kiss on the very tip of my nose, prompting my cheeks to flush bright red in the process. Why is it that he can always do that to me, yet I can't ever do it to him?! It's so unfair how easy it is for him to get to me like that!

"But you're _my_ crappy boyfriend and I wouldn't change that for anything," Kaneki replies with a smirk tugging on the corners of his lips, though his cheeks have been dusted pink, which pale in comparison to the intense crimson that mine become with his words. Dammit... Why does he have to be so cheesy? And why do I like it?!

"You say that now," I playfully giggle, pecking Kaneki's lips with my own whilst my hands rest lightly on his hips, though he pulls me in for a tight hug that I can't help but enjoy, allowing the soft heat of his body to envelop me until we finally have to part. I mean, it's pretty pointless coming to Cram School if we're just gonna chill outside the classroom for the whole lesson. However, just before we enter the room, I steal a final kiss from Kaneki, his eyebrows plucking up into a mockingly shocked expression whilst I just wink at him before breaking eye contact, making my way into the room.

When I push open the door, eyes instantly fall upon me, their gazes snapping away from a disintegrating demon on the ground, Bon holding a gun tightly in his palm, the barrel emitting a small stream of smoke that dissipates into the surrounding air. I'm guessing target practice, though I can't be certain. And how the heck did I not hear him fire outside?! "Do you hear him shoot?" I ask Kaneki, quickly turning around to face him and his extremely nervous expression, which seems to have taken over in a matter of milliseconds.

Shaking his head, I frown and look back to Bon and Yukio, who're just staring at the two of us as if we've interrupted something, though I can't exactly help it. I guess Kaneki and I just tune out the world when we're left on our own together. That honestly wouldn't surprise me.

"You gonna actually join the lesson, Rin? Suguro just demonstrated how to make a clean kill, and he did so very well. You could learn a thing or two from him," Yukio growls at me, knowing that it pisses me off when he compares me to everyone else in the class, treating me like the incompetent ass that should sit at the back with a paper hat on that reads 'dunce'. Damn four-eyes. Shooting him a glare, I skulk my way over to the back of the room, crash-landing into a seat beside Shima whilst Kaneki stiffly sits down next to me, looking too scared to even speak. This is a side of him I haven't seen before and it honestly worries me.

"I know how to kill a demon!" I spit back at my brother, anger thick in my tone as my eyes shoot daggers at a smirking Bon, who sheaths his gun and strides back to his seat, our gazes locked in silent combat the entire time until he finally breaks his away. There are some times when I really hate that guy!

"Oh really? Then what did that to your eye, Okumura?" Bon questions, twisting around in his chair so that he can face me with a smirk that I'm desperate to punch off of his face, though I keep my cool and slip my hands under the desk, averting eye-contact. Did he really have to go onto the topic of my eye again? It's not like I can tell them the real reason for me wearing an eye-patch, which really pisses me off because they're all gonna think that I got injured or something, showing that I'm weak.

"It's none of your business!" I retaliate, able to see Kaneki flinch in the corner of my eye as Bon and I continue to have this verbal war across the classroom, Yukio pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration when both me and Bon rise from our seats, growling at one another as we slam our heads together. The second that happens, Konekomuru grabs onto Bon, trying to pry him away from me whilst Shima's hands twist around my shoulders, doing his best to tug me back. And, though he's failing at first, when Kaneki gently places his palms on my hips, I instantly relax, allowing them to force me down into my seat again, though my venomous gaze never breaks away from Bon.

"The two of you need to grow up and act your damn ages! I'll be handing out some homework and I expect you two to do extra to make up for it!" Yukio spits, glaring at Bon and I as we once again bolt up from our seats, though it's to protest to my brother this time as opposed to trying to attack one another.

"You can't do that, Yukio! I've not even been back a day!" I wail, though Yukio merely shrugs and shoves the piece of paper with at least 20 questions scrawled on it in my face, causing me to flop back into my chair with a loud groan. I can't believe him! Does he have no sympathy or something?! He has no idea of the shit I've gone through in the past few days! Then again, it's not as if I'm about to tell him.

As Yukio trails around the room, handing out the homework to the rest of the class, I allow a frustrated sigh to slip from me, though it's interrupted when Shima leans into my view, a mischievous smirk pulling on his lips in a way that makes my stomach twist into a knot. Whenever Shima gives me that look, it never means anything good.

"Nice hickey there, Okumura," he mutters, my eyes instantly widening whilst my gaze snaps to him so that I can fully focus on his chilling smile, laughter soon tearing from him the second I give him any kind of reaction. But... I covered it up! How the hell did he see it?! As if he's read my mind, Shima slows his giggles and nods in Bon's direction. "Saw it when you were getting all riled up at Bon. So... Who's the lucky girl?" He asks, nudging me with his elbow whilst one of his eyebrows plucks upwards, my heart sinking in my chest. What am I supposed to say now?! I Here I am, wanting to keep the fact that I have a boyfriend from all of them, yet Shima's managed to figure me out in a matter of seconds, his smirk widening into a grin of realization. "Or... Guy. Oh my God, dude! You're totally porking the new guy!" Shima breathes, my hand instantly clamping over his mouth so that he doesn't say anything more that'll get me found out. As I do, my gaze flickers over to Kaneki, whose eyes are widened in alarm, much like my own.

"You tell anyone and I swear to God, you won't live to see another damn day," I hiss, a look of fear finally passing over Shima's features when my tone and expression finally drill into him, his head frantically bobbing up and down into a nod to seal the promise that I'm forcing him to make. Seriously, I won't hesitate to kill him if he tells anyone about it. "Wouldn't want anyone finding out about your thing for Bon... Now would we?" I tease, Shima's eyes going wide for a brief second before they narrow into a glare, his hands ripping mine away from his mouth before he points an accusing finger in my direction, jabbing me harshly in the chest.

"You. Wouldn't. Dare," he spits, the evil smile that I have plastered on my face only getting larger when I finally know that I've got him wrapped around my finger, trying my best to quell the menacing vibe that I'm attempting to project whilst I fold my arms behind my head, loudly sighing a content breath.

"That all depends on you. Keep your mouth shut and I won't say a word to anyone about your man crush. Deal?" I murmur, cracking an eye open to gaze upon a furious Shima, his cheeks bright red with what I'm willing to bet is complete and utter embarrassment. And I freaking love it. Pressing his lips into a straight line, Shima's eyes flicker in Bon's direction before snapping back to me, a sigh escaping from him as he holds out his hand, which I roughly shake with a victorious smirk.

"Deal."


	22. Chapter 22: Breakeven

_**A/N**_

 _ **Don't hate me**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

"Don't you think that was a little harsh with Shima earlier?" Kaneki inquires, wrapping his arms around my bare torso, staring at our reflection in the mirror as I lazily brush my teeth in preparation for bed. I swear, he loves to cling to me no matter what I'm doing, though I can't deny that I absolutely love the feeling of his arms around me. It's kinda like being cuddled by a hot-water bottle. When I shrug, he buries his features into my shoulder, placing a soft kiss on my neck whilst he runs his thumb over my stomach, slipping over each individual muscle that rests there. Not trying to sound big-headed or anything, but I have some pretty fucking neat abs. What can I say? Hard work and determination will do that to you. But they've become extremely evident since I became a ghoul as I'm not eating anywhere near as much as I used to when I could snack on normal food. Whether that's a good thing or not, I'll never know.

Once I'm done with my teeth, taking extra time around my canines since they've started to ache a little recently, I slowly turn to face Kaneki, his hands resting on my hips whilst mine hook onto his shoulders, a smirk prickling my lips, which I gently place against his. However, when I pull back, he's frowning a little, assessing my form with his eyebrows furrowed. "You've gotten thin," he mutters with a pout, prompting me to scan over my body with my own eyes. I mean, sure, I've lost weight. But is it really _that_ noticeable?

"I'm not trying to," I state with a small sigh, curling my finger around his chin so that he doesn't keep staring at me as if I have some kind of eating disorder (understatement of the century). Once his eyes fix on mine again, his silver irises shimmering with worry, I lean forward to press a small kiss on his cheek. "I'm fine, Kaneki. You don't have to worry about me," I ensure him, pulling him into a hug in order to comfort him since he's apparently got it in his head that this is a serious issue. It's just a little bit of weight loss.

"I know. But I'm your boyfriend. It's my job," Kaneki murmurs whilst we pull away, gradually making our way towards our room so that we can finally get our heads down for the night, the bottoms of my slacks dragging along the floor with a soft shuffling sound. Ever since I started sharing a bed with Kaneki, I've had to take the safer approach when it comes to hiding my tail. I mean, it could easily slip out of a pair of boxers, though that's difficult with slacks. It's worked so far so fingers crossed that winning streak holds.

"You're so overprotective," I chuckle lightly as I look at him from over my shoulder, watching as a playful pout quickly starts playing on his lips, causing me to giggle a little until he begins frowning in a way that I can't help but find both hilarious and absolutely adorable. Shaking my head, I stop and place a tiny kiss on his cheek before flopping down on the bed, patting the space beside me to encourage him to take a place there. However, he simply folds his arms sternly, glowering at me in a joking way that sends a smirk rippling across my lips. "I didn't say it was a bad thing," I add, his features instantly softening a little whilst he gives me a soft smack upside the head, both of us laughing under our breaths until he finally decides to follow my silent order and sit next to me.

Once he's sat down, I press my body into the mattress, tugging the covers up to my shoulder with a soft whine, desperate to get some sleep and just end this hectic day. If Cram School wasn't enough, I had to spend at least an hour trying to convince Mephisto to let Kaneki enroll in True Cross as long as he lied about how old he actually is. That took way too much sweet talking to get him to agree, yet he finally did and stated that Kaneki can start tomorrow.

Settling under the covers next to me, Kaneki's arm soon laces around me, his thumb tracing circles over my chest as he holds me against him, allowing me to be enveloped in the warmth of his torso, which is drowning in the jumper that I stole when we went on our date. Yeah I didn't do a very good job of holding onto it, though he always lets me wear it whenever I feel like I want to snatch away an article of his clothing.

"I'm only overprotective because I care," he explains softly in my ear, his lips tickling the tip so that I shudder a little in his grasp, starting to worry that that's just gonna get him in the mood to start touching me up again. However, he doesn't go any further, merely tugging me closer so that he can nuzzle his face into my back, his breath slipping down my spine in a flurry of warmth. Smiling, I cup his hand and press it to my lips before allowing him to curl it around me again, both of us snuggling into each other until there's not an inch of distance between us. I'm so glad Yukio never dares to come in my room any more.

"I know," I murmur, burying my head deeper into the pillow with a sigh, shrugging the covers over me a little more until I feel myself slipping into slumber, unable to fight sleep's claws as they hook onto me, dragging me down. "Goodnight, Kaneki," I mumble sleepily, yawning before I finally allow my eyes to fall to a gentle close, Kaneki giving me a small squeeze in response.

"Goodnight, Rin. Sweet dreams."

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V**_

 _With a small groan slipping from my limp form, I feel my body awaken from slumber, sending me into confusion since Rin and I only just got our heads down literally minutes ago. How am I already awake? However, something's different, the feeling of Rin's steady warmth no longer present on my back, bringing me a slight element of fear that I always hate. Why can't I feel him? Where'd he go?_

 _Snapping my head up to try and survey my surroundings, I find myself crying in a terrified breath when I instantly recognise where the hell I actually am, my body slumped in a chair, hands bound by chains behind me whilst my ankles are attached to the chair's legs by a harsh metal that encompasses me in a freezing bind. No... N-Not here. I... I can't be here! Get me out! GET ME OUT!_

 _"Kaneki," a weak voice suddenly croaks, my eyes flickering to the source, only to make my stomach coil in on itself uncomfortably to the point where I can't contain my scared screams any more, Rin's form crumpled before me with rope binding his hands together, both of them tied to his ankles so that there's no hope of him getting up._

 _"R-Rin!" I wail, desperately fighting these binds so that I can try to reach my boyfriend, who's bloody and beaten to the point where he looks nothing like the strong boy that I fell in love with. What... What the hell's happened to him? Who the fuck did this to_ my _Rin?!_

 _"K-Kaneki," another voice whines to the left of Rin, my eyes darting in that direction and instantly widening when I meet Hide's chocolate gaze, my hands quickly beginning to tremble when I assess that he's in exactly the same state as Rin, ugly bruises and vicious cuts embedded into the skin of both of them. Why are they being made to suffer?! Who... Who'd do such a thing?! Neither of them have done anything wrong! What's going on?!_

 _"You have... To choose... Kaneki," Rin gasps, his dull eyes that usually swirl with an intense blue fire fixating on me as I carry on attempting to escape the metal prison that these shackles create, though I can't do a single thing to fight it. And, just to top it all off, I can't activate my kagune in order to at least sever their bonds and help them escape. What the hell does he mean by 'choose'? In an instant, I remember back to when Jason tortured me, the faces of the male and female he slaughtered flickering through my mind as I do. No. No no no no please no! Please! Please tell me it's not what I think it is!_

 _"This can't be real. This can't be real!" I cry, already sobbing, though my tears aren't warm against my skin; they're freezing cold, slithering over my cheeks in a silver coat that chills every inch of my face until each feature feels numb. Even still, I clamp my bottom lip in my teeth to stop it from quivering, not wanting to display the weakness I can feel swelling within me. It can't be. I can't. I won't. There's no way I can choose between them! I can't do it! Please... Don't make me!_

 _"Choose," a harsh voice growls from behind them both, a few seconds passing before a shadow slips out of the darkness, my eyes taking a few seconds to adjust before they lock with those belonging to a face that I never wished to see again as long as I lived. And I killed him to ensure that wouldn't happen. Yet here he is, grinning evilly at me with a glare that sends all hope I may have had plummeting to the pits of my stomach, his right hand gripping around the back of Rin's neck whilst his other clamps onto Hide, both of them releasing whimpers of pain._

 _"Let them go. Please, Jason. LET THEM GO!" I desperately scream, feeling the metal of my shackles cutting into my wrists as I try to resist them, applying all of the force I possibly can to reach two of the people I care most for in this twisted world. However, as expected, nothing works at all, Jason's menacing chuckle growling from the back of his throat as he glares at me, a sickening grin plastered on his face._

 _"Choose. Now." The second those words hiss from between Jason's teeth, I know that there's nothing I can do but scream and wail for him to change his mind and let Hide and Rin free, though there's no chance in hell that he's ever going to do that. If I don't choose... He'll kill them both! I can't do it! How am I supposed to decide between the boy who's been like my brother for the entirety of my life and the boy that gave me my life back?!_

 _"Don't make me... I'm begging you!" I whimper, hanging my head in defeat so that I don't have to stare upon Rin and Hide's frantic eyes, both of them desperately trying to convince me to follow Jason's orders so that I'll only have one person I care about torn from my life. I can't choose. I just can't! There's no way. "I can't do it! Don't make me choose! Please!" I whine, my head snapping up when a low chuckle snarls from Jason, his vicious eyes glinting in a way that sends lashes of sheer terror through me._

 _"Very well," he spits, his grip getting tighter on the necks of both Rin and Hide, the two of them releasing piercing shrieks of pain as he does, my own screams tearing from me as I watch them suffer. It's my fault! They're going to die because of me! Please... Don't kill them! I... I can't lose them! I just can't!_

 _"K-Kaneki," Rin manages to choke out, his eyes flickering in my direction as he weakly smiles, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth so that it can slither over his pale skin, my heart gradually shattering. No matter how much I beg. No matter how much I struggle. I'm too weak to save him. I'm too weak to save both of them! "I-" Before he can finish, the sickening sound of both his and Hide's neck snapping rips through the room._

* * *

 _The second that sound splits through me, everything inside me turns hollow, my hands violently shaking as I just stare at their limp bodies, clutched tightly in Jason's hands whilst he manically cackles, marveling at the dead forms he holds. Dead. They're both dead. They're both dead because of me. This... This can't be real! This has to be a sick hallucination! Rin... Hide... You can't be gone!_

 _However, when Jason finally drops them, their bodies fall to the ground with a dull thud that sounds devoid of life, Rin's still-open eyes staring straight ahead of him, both of them glassed over with a dead look._

 _"Rin? H-Hide?" I whimper, Jason gradually melting back into the shadows with a sinister chuckle whilst I desperately try to wake them both up, refusing to accept that they're dead. I don't want to be alone! I need them. I need Rin. The second Jason fazes out of reality, the shackles around my ankles and wrists dissipate, allowing me to rush over to the two of them, crashing to my knees beside Rin whilst I pull his head onto my lap, trying to ignore the way that his neck's no longer offering any support for his skull._

 _He's not dead. He can't be. He's not dead! "Rin? Come on, Rin. Wake up. It's time to wake up, lazy bones," I whimper, brushing his hair away from his eyes when he doesn't respond, tears welling up in the corner of my own, though I try to hold them back. He isn't gone. I... I won't accept it! "Rin, wake up! WAKE UP, DAMMIT!" I scream, harshly shaking him to try and get some kind of response. Anything. A silent breath. A blink of his eyes. Anything to tell me that he's alive. That his heart's still beating under his chest. "Please, Rin! This isn't funny!" I cry, tears finally managing to roll down my cheeks as I cradle the empty shell of my boyfriend, sobs hitching in my throat every time I draw fresh breath. He... He can't be gone. I never got to tell him that I love him. "Please. Please wake up. Please wake up, Rin. Please!" I beg, the tightness in my chest only growing when I eventually allow myself to realize the truth. I'm talking to myself. I'm never going to get a response. He's... He's dead._

 _Unable to help it any longer, I finally break, screaming out into the silence whilst I clutch Rin's lifeless body to my chest, sobbing into his hair whilst I gently rock him, unable to let him go. It's my fault. He's dead because of me. I couldn't fight back. Just like back then, I was unable to stop Jason from killing innocent people. I haven't changed at all. Even still, I can't protect the people I love. "I love you. I-I'm sorry. I... I love you," I cry, clinging to him in the hope that he'll hug me back. Tell me everything's alright. Tell me that he's never gonna leave me alone with the monster that's constantly begging to take over my mind._

 _With no reply, I allow myself to go numb, wailing cries of sorrow whilst tears bead in his navy hair, my arms refusing to release him, despite how cold his skin is turning. It seems that all I can do is scream. Scream for this to be false. Scream for him to come back to me._

 _All I can do is scream for the boy I love._


	23. Chapter 23: Are You With Me?

_**A/N**_

 _ **Guys... I'm sorry, okay?! I didn't mean to break your feels (well... I say that...) Long story short, I'm sorry and I hope I make up for it in this chapter...**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

I was having a great sleep. Nice and peaceful for probably the first time since I became a damn ghoul. However, that much appreciated serenity is soon shattered not by the call of the morning. More like the feeling of one of my ribs snapping in half. The second the agony splinters through my torso, I awaken with a pained yelp, jumping out of sleep in a matter of seconds so that I'm able to figure out what the hell is attacking me in whilst I'm trying to catch up on needed rest.

However, I find myself extremely shocked when I notice that I'm still in my bed, clamped in Kaneki's arms, though his grip on me is so tight, I can barely breathe, my torso aching terribly. Shit... He must be having a nightmare! This notion is only confirmed when he whimpers again, increasing the clamp that his arms have on me until I feel yet another one of my ribs crack, encouraging second cry of agony to tear from me. I have to wake him up; if I don't, who knows how many of my freaking ribs he's gonna break?

"K-Kaneki. You gotta... You gotta wake up!" I hiss between my gritted teeth, trying to push down the pain so that I can pull my boyfriend out of the vice-like clutches that his nightmare clearly has on him, a terrified scream suddenly ripping from him so that it can tear through the silence that was previously filled with his echoed pants. Hearing him like this is enough to break me; he sounds so afraid and alone. He's in agony. "Kaneki! It's not real! Wake up!" I yell a little louder over his wails of fear, though it hurts immensely to do so, my broken ribs complaining as I do. Well what other choice do I have? I _need_ to wake Kaneki up before this nightmare completely consumes his mind!

Just when I think I'm gonna need to sit up and physically shake him awake, I hear a sudden hitched breath rip through the air behind me, Kaneki's arms releasing me instantly as he bolts upright. However, he soon slams his back against the wall that our bed's pressed up against, his breaths being pulled into his lungs in thick shrieks that signal hyperventilation. Partnered with the way his hands are viciously shaking, I can only guess that he's having a panic attack, his eyes staring blankly ahead as if there's something horrifying awaiting him on the floor.

With panic filling me, I crawl over to him, ever so gently wrapping an arm around his shoulder so that I can hold him against me, his entire body quivering whilst he refuses to look away from that one spot on the ground, not even noticing that I'm cradling him as softly as I can. "It's alright, Kaneki. It was just a nightmare. It wasn't real," I whisper gently into his ear, though it makes no difference; he's still unresponsive, his trembling never ebbing whilst he continues to suck in breaths at an alarming rate. I have no idea what to do. What the fuck do I do?! He's freaking out and I can't stop it!

"I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to. I-I couldn't choose. I didn't mean to," Kaneki starts whimpering from under my arm, his shaking starting to get even more vicious to the point where I'm scared that he's having a fit or something. I can't just sit around and do nothing! I have to get help!

"Y-YUKIO!" I cry out as loud as my lungs will permit, though I have to stop for a few seconds to catch my breath when the ache from my ribs slams down on me hard. But it's not exactly like I should be caring about myself right now when Kaneki's sat here, tucked under my arm, probably bordering on a freaking seizure!

Thank God I can trust my brother to always show up when I call him, a frantic Yukio bursting into the room with an alert look in his widened eyes, which quickly fall upon me and Kaneki, who won't stop twitching in my hold, mumbling incoherent words under his breath, some of them causing him to randomly burst into tears, which just forces his emotional turmoil to hurtle further out of control.

"What happened?!" Yukio exclaims, darting over to the two of us and seating himself down next to a panicked Kaneki, placing his fingertips to Kaneki's neck with a focused frown, my pulse going absolutely crazy whilst tears prickle at the corners of my eyes. I'm so scared; I've never seen Kaneki act like this before. And it's terrifying. "His pulse is through the roof," Yukio states in a much calmer tone, sliding his hand under the blanket of ivory that Kaneki's hair forms over his forehead, his teeth catching his bottom lip when he pulls his palm away. "And his temperature too. What induced this panic attack?" My brother questions, trying to look me in the eye, though I'm too busy whispering soothing words to my broken boyfriend to pay him any attention. Even still, I managed to catch his question, my eyes only flickering to him for a brief moment before I turn my gaze back to Kaneki.

"A nightmare. I dunno what happened. I... I don't think I want to know," I murmur solemnly, giving Kaneki's shoulders a gentle squeeze as a tear finally leaks from the corner of my eye. I'm so desperate to cuddle up to him. To kiss his cheek whilst repeating over and over that I'm here and everything's gonna be fine. But with Yukio here, I can't exactly do that, so I just pull him closer and continue to whisper assuring words into his ear.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-I'm s-sorry," Kaneki murmurs on repeat, clutching a shaking fist to his chest as he curls up to me, allowing a loud sob to catch in his throat before he begins wailing, sorrowful tears streaming from his eyes as he weeps into me, shattering me internally. What the hell was so bad that it's done this to him?

"Shh... It's okay, Kaneki. I've got you. You're okay," I say in a gentle tone, rubbing his shoulders whilst I work my thumb into his back, though I keep the motion soft so that it's just enough to calm him down. And, though I don't expect it to work, his trembling suddenly starts to fade, the grip that his hands have on me lessening a little as he pulls away, eyes wide with either fear or relief.

"R-Rin?" He whimpers, another tear tumbling from the corner of his eye as he just stares at me, as if he can't believe that I'm really here in the first place, his bottom lip quivering for a few seconds before he practically dives onto me, letting out a choked wail as he clings to me. Encompassing his fragile form in both of my arms, I hold him close, hushing him whilst giving Yukio silent permission to leave, a crooked smile catching on his lips as he stands. I think he knows that I've got this now that Kaneki's come out of his little freak-out session.

The second Yukio shuts the door behind him, I distance myself from Kaneki a little, staring into his swirling, silver irises that shimmer with tears, his teeth gripped onto his bottom lip to stop it from trembling as it was just a few moments ago.

"What happened, Kaneki?" I inquire, using as small a voice as possible so that I don't trigger another panic attack, his watery eyes flickering down whilst he sniffs, clearly unable to get over whatever he saw in his dream. Respecting that he doesn't want to talk about it, I hold him close to me, tugging him into an embrace that he quickly accepts, his arms lacing around me as he just cries into my bare chest.

"I... I had a nightmare. And what happened in it... It was like when... Like when I was... T-Tortured," Kaneki chokes out, my blood suddenly running as cold as ice the second I repeat those words over in my head. Tortured?! Kaneki was... He was tortured?! But... But why the hell would anyone do that to him?! Who the fuck would ever want to hurt him?!

"You were tortured?" Is all I can say, unable to look him in the eye or even speak without making the tears that slip from my eyes extremely evident, though my voice still manages to waver with the pain that's filling it. I just can't imagine why anybody would want to do that to him. Why they'd to that to _my_ Kaneki? Feebly nodding against me, he clings to me tighter, gasping in a sob as he snuggles his features into my chest, as if it'll help him forget about the memory if he reminds himself of the present enough. So I help him, rubbing his shoulders with a soft motion, planting a kiss in his hair.

"Y-You didn't really think my hair was naturally white, did you? And my nails... How many people do you know with black nails that haven't been painted?" Kaneki whimpers, pulling away from me a little so that he can lock gazes with me, his kakugan glowing through the darkness that shrouds us. I don't know what I thought in all honesty. I guess I just never payed it any mind.

"If you wanted to call me a dummy, you could've just said it," I mutter with a wonky smile, Kaneki breathing a chuckle that's quickly followed by a sniff, his lips hesitantly pressing against my own, stopping me from watching a single crystal bead race over his cheek, which I cup in my hand to pull him closer to me, deepening our kiss. I swear to God, he gives me the scares of my life sometimes. I guess it keeps me on my toes though.

"I... I was so scared it was real. I thought I was back there, Rin. It... It was awful," Kaneki explains when we pull out again, his fingers nervously fumbling with the fabric of the covers as he nibbles on his bottom lip, which I lightly pepper with my own for a brief second, my palm cradling his shoulder.

"Well it wasn't real. You really think I'd ever let something like that happen to you?" I ask, even though it comes out as more of a statement than anything, a crooked smirk slipping onto Kaneki's lips as he looks upon me from under his eyelashes. "I may be a dummy, but I'm not completely useless," I joke, encouraging a small giggle from Kaneki that lifts my spirits a little. At least he's starting to feel a bit better.

"I think that's debatable," Kaneki then chuckles, causing my eyes to widen before they settle into a mocking glare, only making Kaneki to laugh more, his finger jabbing into my chest for a second before he spontaneously tackle-hugs me, nuzzling his nose into my neck with a light giggle. "I'm only joking," he whispers, a small smile tugging on my mouth as I stroke his hair with my palm, my other pressed against my stomach due to the aching ribs that are currently crying for relief; with Kaneki pretty much on top of me, I'm in a shitload of pain. Broken bones usually take a little more time to heal, though it's only by a few extra minutes.

Even still, Kaneki notices the way that I'm wincing and pulls out, a small pout resting on his features. "What's wrong?" He questions, sitting himself up so that he's merely straddling me, his butt (which is only clothed in his boxers) resting on my lower abdomen, dangerously close to my crotch. I think his tackle-hug just got a lot more suggestive... At least in my head. Damn... His pervertedness is rubbing off on me!

"Nothing," I lie, though I know that Kaneki's figured out I'm not telling the truth from the second he takes a look at my torso, instantly able to see the bruises that have formed around the ribs that he broke, the violet splotches extremely evident in the dark since my skin's so damn pale.

"I did that?" He asks numbly, unable to look me in the eye as he bites down on his lip, crawling off of me so that he can tuck himself under the covers, shyly tugging them up to his eyes so that all that pokes out is his guilty gaze and wild, white hair. "I'm sorry, Rin. I didn't mean to hurt you," he whimpers, my eyes rolling themselves before I clamber under the shell of warmth that the covers create, my arms wrapping around him and hugging him close to me, the ache that my ribs send across my torso making me wince a little. But I can deal.

"I'm not hurt. But you need sleep. Don't worry about a thing; I'm never gonna let anyone touch you, alright? You're not gonna go back to that place, so don't worry. I'll be right here the whole time," I murmur, cradling him softly as he gently nods, my lips pressing into his hair before I curl myself up, resting my features in his neck. "I promise you, Kaneki. Nobody will ever hurt you again."


	24. Chapter 24: Young Volcanoes

_**A/N**_

 _ **As a warning to all of you fangirls out there... I suggest leaving the room now if you happen to be with family. Just saying. It doesn't get too full-on but... This is just a nosebleed warning ;)**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

"Come on, Kaneki! You're not even trying!" I call over my shoulder whilst my feet pound against the dirt beneath my feet, the rumbling sound of the perusing Reaper thundering from behind Kaneki and I as we carry out the exercise that we're lumbered with each week to build endurance. But would it kill them to change it up a bit? I mean, running's fun, but running in circles from the same demon over and over again? Not so much.

"Okumura! This isn't a race!" Ol' Sideburns shouts down in that scolding tone of his that never ever puts a single one of us in our place, despite his attempts to be intimidating. Plucking my lips into a smirk, my eyes fall back to Kaneki again, who's only barely managing to run fast enough to keep out of the Reaper's reach. I can't really blame him after the hell he went through last night. I'm honestly surprised I have the energy that I do considering that I didn't sleep at all after he woke me up; along with having to endure the ache of my healing ribs, I knew that there was no way I'd be able to drift off with the constant worry that he'd wake up screaming again. And, though he was fine for the rest of the night, that's not exactly the point. I don't want him suffering.

"You're no Olympic athlete yourself!" Kaneki retaliates, pumping his legs harder until he's matching my pace, my eyes widening a little at his sudden spurt of energy, though I soon narrow my eyes into a playful glare that makes him giggle between his ragged pants. Okay... That's adorable. Shaking my head, I allow a menacing smile to curve onto my lips before I nudge his shoulder with my own, knocking him to the side a little with a jokingly evil laugh.

"Well at least my reflexes aren't as terrible as yours are!" I spit with a chuckle, a victorious smirk playing on my lips, despite Kaneki managing to get himself back in place, this time taking his turn in pushing me off-course, a startled yelp catching in my throat when I nearly trip over my own feet, Kaneki soon receiving a flaring, cyan glare.

"Boys! This is _not_ a race!" Sideburns barks again, though Kaneki and I are too busy constantly trying to mess the other up to pay any attention to him, the sound of the Reaper's pounding pace not even enough to break through our conflict. However, whilst I'm in the middle of digging my shoulder into his bicep to try and force him to lose speed again so that I can pull ahead, the sudden sound of a phone ringing tears through the air, both of our gazes flickering up to Sideburns, who's fishing his cell out of his pocket. "Hello? R-Right now? But I'm teach- Okay okay! I'm on my way, Kitty Cat!" He rapidly stutters before giving our small class a salute before taking off, kicking up dirt as he does, my eyes rolling in an irritated manner.

"Ditched for a booty call," I grumble, still keeping my eyes on the ground before me that Kaneki and I are still ploughing through, probably close to lapping the freaking Reaper at this point! However, Kaneki's extremely confused orbs of silver flicker in my direction, widened in complete and utter disbelief.

"Is he allowed to do that?!" He gasps through his heavy breathing, seemingly too distracted by Sideburns' departure to focus on anything apart from his own perplexity. Perfect. With a mischievous grin, I suddenly ram myself against his shoulder, causing him to tumble to the side, loosing his footing so that he crashes to the ground with a surprised cry, laughter instantly tearing from me when I meet his glare. However, I know that I shouldn't be so proud of myself when he quickly gets up again, lunging at me until both of us are floored, scrabbling to land playful punches and kicks on the other. What can I say? Play-fighting's fun!

Yeah... We probably should've payed more attention to where exactly we were brawling. Just as Kaneki's pushing me onto my back, pinning me down by my biceps, I suddenly allow a breath to hitch in my throat when my eyes lock with those belonging to the Reaper, Kaneki frowning at me since he has no idea that he's got a freaking demon looming over him.

Not even thinking, when the Reaper releases a low growl, widening its jaw so that it can easily snatch Kaneki up and probably freaking eat him, I grab Kaneki by the shoulders, throwing him off of me and out of the way of the demon's reach. Meaning that I'm the new target.

"You wouldn't dare!" I hiss at it, feeling my eyes beginning to swirl viciously, my pupil most likely burning bright red to prove to the demon that I'm of satanic heritage and that to harm me would be like assaulting Gehennan royalty. Instantly, it stops its attempt to try and take a nice bite out of me, a purr of a whimper echoing in the back of its throat as it pulls away, unable to meet my intimidating gaze. However, that doesn't stop my heart from pounding heavily under my chest, ragged breaths ripping from me as I just stare skywards, trying to calm my insane pulse.

"Rin! Oh my God are you okay?!" Kaneki's frantic voice suddenly questions from my right, his face soon hovering into my vision with panic darting through his irises, a small smile plucking on my mouth as I slowly nod.

"I'm good," I breathe, knowing that my only visible eye must have gone back to normal by now. Otherwise I'm pretty sure Kaneki would've flipped his shit. I honestly have no idea how he hasn't figured out that I'm half-demon yet with all the stupid risks I've been taking. Then again, I guess it's not a bad thing that he's completely oblivious to everything around him, including yours truly. However, no matter how much I reassure him, he still doesn't allow the worry to shift from his eyes, a sigh slipping from me. "Kaneki, I'm fine," I reassure him, sitting myself up with a strained groan, rubbing my nape since it aches from being pinned down as roughly as I had been. I don't think this guy realizes his own strength sometimes.

"Rin! Kaneki!" A harsh voice snaps, splitting through the near-silence whilst we scan around for the source, though my stomach instantly contracts when my eyes meet with Yukio's furious ones, his hand resting on the Reaper's leg whilst he glares at the two of us. "What the hell were you two thinking?! You're supposed to run from the demon not fight in front of it! You could've both been killed!" He spits, though I can help but scoff a little under my breath; with Kaneki and I both being ghouls, I don't think that'd be much of a problem. Saying that, I think being eaten would've sucked. "You think it's funny?! Well I can't wait to see how much you laugh this out in detention! Both of you!" Yukio spits, not fazing me in the slightest; he's given me detention more times than I can count. Kaneki, on the other hand, has a whole different opinion on the matter.

"Detention?! But... I've never had detention in my life!" He wails, his eyes pleading for Yukio to reconsider, as if he's just given him the death sentence or something! Jeez, it's not all that bad, even if you're a teacher's pet like Kaneki; all day, he's been making every single teacher he's had fall in complete and utter love with him and his goody-two-shoes personality. How he does it, I have no idea.

"Well there's a first time for everything," Yukio growls before turning his back to us, my eyes flickering to Kaneki, who's still apparently in shock, his face pale whilst he looks like he's gonna freaking cry. I don't care if he's my boyfriend; that's just sad. Detention's not all that bad!

* * *

"This is your fault," Kaneki grumbles, arms folded as he glares at the endless sheet of questions in front of him, a textbook the size of an encyclopedia resting in front of the two of us whilst Yukio projects an ominous aura from behind both of us, quickly giving Kaneki a sharp smack around his head with a ruler.

"No talking," he mutters, sounding as if he's enjoying this way too much, Kaneki flinching from the impact whilst he fiddles with the pages of the book, flicking through it to research the answers without breaking his gaze from the text. Is he seriously scared of _my brother_? Rolling my eyes, I shoot a glare at my twin, refusing to do what he's told us to since I frankly couldn't care less. I don't need this researching crap when I can pretty much kill any demon I come into contact with with my flames. Facts don't help one bit on the field.

Just when I think I'm about to snap from the crushing silence, partnered with my killer boredom, Yukio's cell suddenly starts buzzing wildly in his pocket, a sigh of relief slipping from me as he presses the device to his ear, Kaneki's eyes curiously flickering over his shoulder. "Yes? Can't it wait? I'm just... A-Alright, I'll be right there," he mutters, meeting my confused gaze with a somewhat frustrated one, his fingers delicately re-positioning his glasses. "I need to collect some papers from Shura. I'll be back in around five minutes. I don't want you talking or slacking off whilst I'm gone," he threatens, hesitantly turning his back to us before exiting the room, a collective sigh whining from Kaneki and I the second he leaves.

"Thank God!" I breathe, leaning back in my chair and stretching my arms out, a small squeal leaking from my throat as I do, Kaneki taking a similar action, though he folds back over his textbook again, scribbling down notes onto the piece of paper before him. Wait... Is he actually doing what Yukio's telling him to? "You do realize he's gone, right?" I inquire, trying to lean into Kaneki's view, though he doesn't dare look at me. "You're pissed off, aren't you?" I state, not even that getting his attention, though his jaw tightens as he nods his head once, carrying on with writing. Well it doesn't take a genius to work that one out.

Sighing, I push my book to the side, getting up from my chair so that I can pace over to Kaneki, lightly poking his cheek so that he'll connect his gaze with my own, which he does for a brief second before I press my lips against his, pulling him closer to me as I coil my arms around his torso. Whimpering a little, Kaneki clutches me tighter, my hand feeling around for the back of his chair so that I can pull it from under his desk, trying to distract him with my tongue as I slide myself onto his lap, soon straddling him whilst my hands tangle in his hair.

Whilst my tongue explores his mouth in a little more depth, his hands weave over my torso, his fingers nimbly tracing the faint remnants of the love bite he gave me in a way that makes the skin tingle, causing me to shudder under his touch. Whining, I too let my palms wander, slipping them underneath his shirt so that I can trace each individual abdominal muscle with my fingertips, our tongues still lapping at one another in a playful conflict, a light moan slipping from the back of Kaneki's throat. And don't think I can't feel his member hardening against my thigh, my own close to doing the same.

Motioning my hand downwards, I run my fingers along the waistband of his pants, a whimper trickling from him when I allow myself to curl my touch around his back, cupping what I can of his ass, despite him being sat down. I don't care. I don't care that my heartbeat's through the roof. I don't care that my body-heat is beginning to rocket. All I care about is him.

"R-Rin," Kaneki breathes through the kiss, though I instantly silence him by forcing our lips together again, not wanting to waste a single second of this. However, I decide against frenching him this time, my teeth chewing on his bottom lip in a way that causes his grip on my shoulders to get tighter, a moan whining from me when I feel him pushing his member against my inner-thigh, encouraging me to motion closer to him. How the hell have I lived without this before?! As cheesy as it is to say, this is like nothing I've ever known before. A rush that I constantly wanna feel.

However, something breaks us apart almost instantly, the sound of the door opening splitting through the room in what I can only describe as a sickening crack, my gaze frantically flying in the direction of whoever's just barged in on us. Shit. Shit shit shit shit! I totally forgot! How could I _forget_ that my brother was gonna be coming back?!


	25. Chapter 25: Pressure

_**A/N**_

 _ **I know... It's been forever (2 weeks give or take) and I'm sooooooo sorry ;~; I missed my baybehs too, don't worry! I was just on holiday in Cyprus and I literally got home at 5am this morning after a 5 hour flight, on which I didn't sleep so I was pretty much awake the whole night :L But I still had to get this chapter written because I missed writing this story so much and I love my little babies too much to leave them, though Kaneki isn't in this chapter much tbh... Eh**_

 _ **So yeah, if it's not great, that'll be why; I'm tired as all hell but I'll put up with it for you guys x'D**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

For a few seconds, Yukio, Kaneki and I just stare at each other in a silent standoff, none of us really sure how to react in the slightest; my twin brother just walked in on me touching up my fucking boyfriend whilst frenching him! However, once those brief moments tick by in an agonizing manner, I suddenly spring off of Kaneki, practically tumbling to the floor as I slide off of his lap, which he proceeds to cover up with the closest pillow to hide his hard-on. Which means I have absolutely no way of concealing my own.

"DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO KNOCK?!" I scream at my twin brother, whose turquoise irises are still a little wide, as if he's unable to process what he just saw. In all honesty, if I saw him making out with another guy, I'd probably freak out as well. However, the second I yell these words at him, my cheeks extremely hot and most likely burning a painfully bright crimson colour, a wave of calm soon rushes over Yukio, though I can tell that he's trying to not completely lose his shit, eyes constantly flickering between me and an extremely embarrassed Kaneki, who can barely break his gaze away from the desk in front of him. Talk about a supportive boyfriend. Then again, it kinda _was_ my fault.

"Rin, can I speak with you please... Alone?" Yukio inquires in as laid-back a tone as he can manage, re-positioning his glasses, most likely so that he can hide the look that he's got cooped up in his aqua irises, though it's pointless since I know my twin better than anyone. He's pissed. Which is an understatement. And, though I can't really blame him, if he's gonna bitch at me, he might as well do it in front of Kaneki.

"No. If you wanna say something, you can say it in front of him as well," I state, my gaze quickly locking with Kaneki's for a few seconds before he breaks his eyes away, what looks to be guilt swimming through his features. I forgot he blames _everything_ on himself. I was the one that kissed him. I was the one that forgot about Yukio. So none of this is his fault, though I doubt he'll let me tell him that. He'll probably say that he should've reminded me or pushed me off or something. He's just weird like that, though I can't help but love him anyways.

"I want to speak with you privately, Rin," Yukio spits through gritted teeth, a much more authoritative tone catching onto his voice as he does, causing me to wince a little at the harshness; he's only ever like that when he wants to discuss a serious issue. And, as serious as homosexuality may be to some people, I doubt it's the only thing my brother wishes to talk about. Yeah... Maybe it would be best if Kaneki wasn't around for this.

"Fine," I grumble, though I don't follow him out of the room instantly; instead, I turn on the spot and make my way over to Kaneki, folding around him so that I can place a light kiss on his lips, whispering that I'll be right back into his ear before leaving his side, meeting the eyes of a very frustrated-looking Yukio. He's gonna chew me out big time, isn't he?

* * *

Once we've managed to get a good distance away from the room in which Yukio was holding our detention, he finally turns to me, wiping away all of the false calmness to reveal just how angry he is, rage instantly filling his features within seconds. And, before I can even go to defend myself, he suddenly opens his mouth, allowing his rant to spill from his lips.

"What the hell, Rin?! You could've told me you have a freaking boyfriend! I'm your damn brother and you never even thought to mention it?! What's wrong with you?!" He snaps with an intensity that hits me squarely in the chest, my heart feeling as if it's tightening with his questions. He's never this mad at me unless I've really done something to piss him off, my relationship with Kaneki being something that I didn't think would do that. And, though I hate to consider it, I think it's most likely more than just that.

"I've had a lot to deal with, Yukio. I guess I just forgot to mention it," I mutter, trying not to raise my voice or act snarky in any way; he'll just get even more angry with me if I even try to sass him. I just have to do what I like to call the 'twin trade', in which Yukio starts acting like me and I take on his personality. Whilst he rants, I hold my tongue. Whilst he bitches, I calmly respond. Then again, I've never really been successful in pulling it off so it's probably not gonna work.

"Just how you've constantly 'forgotten to mention' what really happened to your eye? And don't spout anything about it being an infection or something because your healing abilities would've fixed it in minutes. You're hiding something from me, Rin! I'm your brother. Why can't you just tell me?" He exclaims, my eyes widening a little when he brings up the subject of them, my right one tingling a little, as if with nerves, though I'm certain that it's most likely my kakugan going crazy. Brilliant. So he still hasn't let that topic go? Why the fuck can't he just accept that I can't tell him?!

"There are some things I just can't say, Yukio!" I reply with a shout to my voice, Yukio not even recoiling from my tone in the slightest, that mask of fury only getting more and more solid as he begins to glare at me, a glint flickering through his glasses. Taking a step forward, as if to intimidate me, Yukio pushes his hair out of his face, his irises burning with the anger that's completely directed towards me and every response I make.

"It's more than that, Rin! You've not been eating, either! All you ever did was constantly snack and eat whenever you could. I haven't seen you touch a single piece of food since you got home! Ever since Kaneki showed up, you've been acting different!" He snarls in a way that causes my body to go rigid, my teeth quickly gritting together whilst my fingers curl themselves together into two tight fists by my sides. How dare he blame Kaneki for this! Who the fuck does he think he is?! There are some things I just won't accept, and placing someone innocent at fault is one of them.

"Don't you dare blame Kaneki! If anything, it's your fault!" I yell, losing control of my mouth until I realize what I just said, instantly wanting to take the words back when Yukio's eyebrows furrow in a frustrated confusion that's beckoned from my statement. I shouldn't have said that. Shit, I shouldn't have said that!

"What do you mean it's my fault?!" Yukio cries out, my form flinching a little when I realize that he didn't just let that go; he's gonna interrogate me further about my meaning. I can't tell him. I can't tell him that he's a large part of why I became a ghoul in the first place; if he hadn't have ordered me to leave the dorm on that day, none of what happened then would have. I wouldn't have been turned into a ghoul, nor would anything have changed. But he can't know. He just can't.

"Nothing. I didn't mean anything by it. I just-"

"-No. You said it's my fault you're like this! I'd love to know how, Rin! I haven't seen you since you ran away so I'd love to know how you figure blaming me is fair!" He pushes, not allowing me to escape the subject just as I'd like, irritation, as well as panic, beginning to surface when I feel my pulse start to increase, heavily thudding in my neck whilst the ache returns to my canines, though it also rings through my ears too, as well as my tail. Why won't he just drop it?!

"Just forget what I said, Yukio! I didn't mean it!" I retaliate, desperately trying to get him off of the subject before I snap at him and start ranting with no end; with the intense feeling of pressure building up in all of my demonic features, as well as my pounding pulse and raging headache, I know exactly what'll happen if I get myself any more worked up than I already am. And I'm certain that, if it does, I can't be anywhere near Kaneki. Just the idea of him finding out just causes me to panic even more.

"Stop lying to me, Rin! All you've done since you've gotten back is lie to me and I'm tired of it! Why won't you just tell me the truth for once in your goddamn life?!"

"Shut up. Just SHUT UP!" I scream, my body suddenly erupting into a wild frenzy of blue flames that flicker eagerly around me, as if glad to finally be released from the prison that I threw them into upon meeting Kaneki, relief flooding through me as all aches melt away, the fire licking at the air. Crap! I need to calm down! I have to put them out! However, no matter what I try, I can't bring myself to quell them, each attempt failing horribly, only causing them to pulse even more, like they're taunting me. Why aren't they going out?!

"This is what I'm talking about, Rin! You've been keeping your powers bottled up, haven't you?! You know how dangerous that is! You know that, whenever you push them down, they'll end up springing free even during the smallest of arguments!" Yukio explains, an aggravating tone laced through his voice that only increases my irritation; I don't need him bitching and moaning at me whilst I'm trying to get my pulse back to normal in order to calm my flames to the point where they'll dissipate. If Kaneki were to come down now... No, I can't think about that. It'll just work me up even more. Calm. I need to be calm. I just have to collect my head and ignore Yukio and the way that he constantly reminds me of my own idiocy.

I know it's stupid to keep my powers contained. Like with anything, if I keep them all bottled up for way too long, they'll eventually break out of control in instances where they're completely unneeded, which could prove fatal to anyone around me. And, with my turbulent emotions, I'm not exactly the best at handling my temper. Which is why it's so difficult to quell my flames, the embers spitting out in azure flecks that litter the ground before extinguishing. Every time I try to calm down, I remember why I'm pissed and my pulse hits the roof again.

"Just shut the hell up, Yukio! Please!" I try to order, though it comes out as more of a beg, my hands now tucked under my arms so that they can press themselves against my body, which is slightly doubled over in a feeble attempt to settle my nerves and heartbeat. I just need a couple of minutes. A few moments where Yukio doesn't say a word to get myself back to normal, eliminating the danger of Kaneki seeing my flames.

"I just want what's best for you, Rin! And hiding them isn't gonna do you, or anyone around you, any good! For your sake, you need to tell Kaneki; I know that's why you're keeping them cooped up. You don't want him finding out. Well secrets can't last forever, especially when they're being kept from people you care about. He's going to find out, Rin. So you might as well tell him before it's too late and people get hurt. I think he'd rather hear it from your mouth than figure it out when you lose control." Gritting my teeth, I force my eyes shut, trying to block my brother out as he attempts to convince me that telling Kaneki the truth is really the best option for me. If I told him about me being a demon, he'd be terrified. He'll hate me. He'll think I'm a monster. I don't want to lose him. I'm so scared of him leaving me. That's why he can't ever know. I can't ever let him. I can't watch another person I love disappear from my life, just like dad did.

However, just when I think that my flames are beginning to quell a little, despite panic still bristling through me as I start considering just the idea of Kaneki abandoning me, my chest instantly tightens again whilst the cobalt fire burns brighter.

"Rin?" Kaneki's voice echoes through the empty halls, drawing closer with every single breath I suck into my lungs. He must've heard us shouting and got concerned about me. Shit. No no no no I can't let him see. I can't! I have to calm down. I have to calm down. Why can't I fucking calm down, dammit?! "Rin, is everything alright?" Kaneki's voice calls again, my pulse making a startling leap when I realize how close he is. He's gonna see. He's gonna see me for the demon I really am.


	26. Chapter 26: Uneven Odds

_**A/N**_

 _ **Right... So I'm putting in a smut warning later in the chapter just to let y'all know (even though idk if a hand-job qualifies as smut) so yeah... Sensitive readers or anyone with parents in the room may want to either ignore that part of the chapter or leave the room x'D**_

 _ **With that said...**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

Knowing that there's no hope of me calming down before Kaneki reaches us, after exchanging a terrified look with Yukio, I bolt from the room in any direction that leads away from Kaneki's voice, pants being ripped from my lungs whilst my pulse boosts into overdrive, preventing me from putting my damn flames out. Shit! Why now, of all times, do they have to disobey my commands?! I don't really care where I end up; as long as I flee to a place in which I can settle my heartbeat and get everything under control again. I'm not ready for Kaneki to find out. I don't ever want him to! I can't blow it now; I don't want him to push me away. I can't lose him!

Eventually, I round a corner, my eyes desperately searching for anywhere to conceal myself, soon falling upon a me-sized crevice in the wall that I should be able to curl up in for a few minutes, hopefully out of sight so that I can extinguish these dame flames! Darting into the small area, I hug my knees my my chest, trying to keep my tears from falling as I suck in steady breaths, my eyes closed so that I can soothe my racing brain. I just need to stop thinking, which shouldn't be a problem for me. So I try, allowing my mind to go blank, focusing only on my breathing to ensure that it's drawn out enough to slow my heart.

Just when I begin to feel the powerful throbbing that is created whenever my flames are free starting to ebb away, I allow myself to crack my eyes open ever so slightly, though I'm met with a sight that instantly causes my pulse to rocket again, the azure fire growing viciously around me once more.

"Rin...?" Kaneki breathes, his eyes wide with an emotion that I find myself unable to place, though his silver irises tremble with what is clearly fear as I stare up at him, my stomach crumpling into one massive knot that threatens to choke me. "Y-You're... You're a... A demon?" He croaks, that confirmation causing him to take a few steps away from me, though his gaze doesn't break from my flames, which flicker as a reflection in his eyes. He's scared of me. He's... He's scared of me.

"Kaneki-" I start, though I have no clue how to finish, gradually getting to my feet, though my knees tremble as I do, clearly weak since the thought of him abandoning me because of what I am takes possession of my mind, sending me into all kinds of panic. He has to understand why I didn't tell him. He needs to know that I'm not dangerous! Ever so gently, I reach my hand out to him, hoping that he'll take it and tell me that he understands. That he's not gonna reject me But, instead, he smacks it away from him, staggering back a little more as a harsh breath hitches in my throat, the sting of the slap racing up my arm.

"Those flames... They belong to Satan," he somewhat hisses, my heart cracking when I see something flicker through his irises for a split second, a sob choking from me. Just then, I swear I saw hatred. Out of everything we could've studied in detention, he _had_ to look up the Blue Night. He _had_ to read about the event that constructs the worst possible image of the powers I hold.

"Kaneki... Just... Let me explain. I-"

"-Explain what, Rin?! That you're the fucking son of Satan and you never even mentioned it?! You... You lied to me! After I told you _everything_ about me. After I trusted you with _every_ _single_ secret I hold. And you were just keeping a plethora of your own this whole time," he whimpers, tears beading in his furious eyes, his kakugan flaring viciously whilst his hands curl up into fists to the point where his knuckles turn ivory.

"You think I don't know that?! I hated keeping this from you but I didn't have a choice! Because I knew you'd push me away! I knew you'd hate me and call me a monster. I never told you because I was fucking terrified!" I wail, a single tear rolling down my cheek before many more follow, tearing over my skin as my flames continue to lash at the air in a somewhat vicious manner to mirror my sorrow. I'm losing him. He... He hates me. He's gonna leave me and I'll be alone again. Whilst I stare at him, Kaneki seems to go through about a million different emotions all at once, his mouth slightly open, as if he wants to say something, whilst a couple of silver droplets leak from his eyes, the hands that he previously had clutched into fists loosening themselves, if only a little.

"Why didn't you trust me, Rin? After all we've been through... I thought you'd at least be able to trust me with something like this," he mutters, a stab of pain twisting through me as I bite down on my bottom lip, hanging my head, as if in shame. He's right. I should've trusted him. But I was so afraid. Afraid of him leaving me. Afraid that he'd hate me. I lost my friends once because they found out about what I really am. I couldn't let that happen again with the only person in my life I love more than anything.

"I... I was scared, Kaneki. I... I didn't want to lose you," I whimper, guilt instantly splintering through Kaneki's face when I finally break, collapsing to my knees with a sorrowful sob, my cheeks completely sodden with tears as I choke out breaths, unable to even try and hold them back any more. "I'm sorry. I-I should've told you. I'm sorry," I cry, gritting my teeth to try and prevent more weeps from audibly sounding, my entire body shuddering with petrified wails of despair, ones that constantly like to tear themselves from me. He's not going to listen. He's not going to care about me any more. Who'd love a lying, disgusting demon like me?

"Rin-" Kaneki starts, though he's abruptly cut off by a shattering crash that explodes through the silence that was only filled with my sobs, my head quickly whipping up whilst a breath of shock catches in my throat. Right behind Kaneki, a beast unlike any I've seen before hovers, multiple heads (I'm counting at least five) gradually starting to curl themselves into the building via the gasping hole they've made in the structure, the gentle purr of a snarl leaking from its throat. Until one of their gazes fixates upon Kaneki, a forked tongue whipping around in the air in front of that respectable head before it draws closer to him. And he can't see it!

"KANEKI!" I scream, pouncing to my feet and unleashing a rage of flames upon the demon before it can get anywhere near him, though Kaneki becomes quickly engulfed in the attack as well. But I don't have to panic; I won't hurt him. I'll never hurt him. With a pained shriek, the demon stumbles away from Kaneki and I, clearly losing its footing since each head is sucked from the building whilst its body tumbles to the ground from which it came. Without hesitation, I instantly dart over to Kaneki, who's crumpled to his knees, his fist clutched over his heart. No... Please tell me I didn't hurt him. I... I can't have hurt him!

"It's not hot," he suddenly whispers, though I don't hear him, a frown knitting onto my eyebrows whilst contradicting tears race from my eyes. I don't even know if he'll let me touch him after what he found out. And this lack of understanding is killing me. I need to get closer, to comfort him and beg to be forgiven. But I don't want to be pushed away. "Your flames... They're not hot," he says a little louder, his silver irises flickering up from the single spot they were previously fixed with, a crooked smile on his lips whilst a crystal-like bead slips over his skin.

Before I can even react, he throws his arms around me, a gasp catching in my throat as the warmth of his embrace coats me, a soft whimper echoing from me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have freaked out like that. I know what it's like to keep secrets. I know what it's like to be so scared of losing the people you love because of what you are. I'm sorry, Rin," he sobs, clutching me tighter as I finally curl into his hug, burying my features into his collarbone as I start to wail cries of relief, my fingers latching onto his blazer.

After finally realizing how much of a monster I am. After figuring out that I've been lying to him this entire time. After knowing that I'm the son of a demon who killed hundreds of people that didn't deserve to die, he's still willing to accept me. To forgive me for never telling him. To actually hold me and _apologize_.

"We're two pretty fucked up guys aren't we?" I breathe with a small chuckle, my lips plucking into a smirk against his neck before I proceed to nip lightly at it, Kaneki's grip on me getting a little tighter whilst a whine leaks from him, only encouraging me to nibble more frequently. As I do, I feel my tail gradually slipping loose from around my thigh, weaving its way out of my pants so that it can curl around me, as if curious of Kaneki since I've never allowed myself to expose this specific feature to him before.

When he feels it brush against the back of his hand, Kaneki sucks in a startled breath, leaping a good few inches in the air as he jolts away from me, eyes wide with a fear that quickly develops into confusion, a small laugh leaking from my lungs as my tail twitches by my side, Kaneki's gaze instantly locking with it.

"I _KNEW_ I SAW A TAIL!" He exclaims all of a sudden, my mind unable to recall what he's talking about until I remember the first morning I spent in his apartment when he idiotically walked in on me butt-naked in the bathroom! Upon uncovering that memory, my cheeks go extremely red whilst a pissed-off pout riddles my lips, my glare burning into him more than my flames ever could. However, before I can snap at him, he gingerly reaches out, raising an eyebrow, as if asking for permission from me, before he proceeds to slip his fingers into contact with the tip of my tail, an awestruck expression quickly flitting into the flecks of his irises the second he does.

 *****WARNING: SMUT(?) STARTS HERE*****

And, whilst he's busy marveling over the appendage he didn't even know existed, I'm doing everything in my power to hold in a moan, a jolt of pleasure spiking through me every single time he runs his fingertips over the small tuft of ebony fur. I always knew my tail was the most sensitive part of my body, save for the obvious, but I never expected to have this reaction at all, my grip on Kaneki's clothing getting tighter when he dares to run his touch further up the appendage. I can't help it. Opening my mouth only a fraction, a whimper of a moan rings from my throat, Kaneki instantly freezing so that he can take in the sight of my crimson cheeks.

But that only lasts for a second.

Being the pervert he is, noticing what touching up my tail does to me, he _carries on_! His delicate fingers continue to trace along the fur of my spindly tail, causing those shock-waves of what I can only describe as pleasure to assault me all over, louder and more frequent moans starting to rip themselves free from me. That fucking asshole. Now is _not_ the time to freaking turn me on! "Someone's a little sensitive," he purrs in my ear, causing me to shudder a little in his touch, a smirk crawling onto his lips before he slams them into my own, holding my torso against his whilst he just twirls my tail around in his hand, my hips flinching whenever when wraps it around a new finger.

"K-Kaneki," I stutter as soon as he lets me break for air, though he only hums once before joining our mouths together again, his tongue sliding past my lips so that it can weave with my own, our bodies literally pressed against one another's now, Kaneki managing to shift the weight so that I'm somehow beneath him, his legs curling around me so that he's able to straddle my hips. "Kaneki~!" I whine when he leans down to suckle on my Adam's apple, a moan leaking from me yet again when I feel blood cluster to where his lips are placed, probably creating another freaking love bite. We just got attacked by a _demon_ yet he's still determined to make out with me.

However, I'm snapped out of thought when I feel his one of his hands, being the one that's constantly fiddling with my tail to beckon whines, whimpers and moans of pleasure from me, starting to creep its way to where my tail meets with my body, his fingers tracing around the base of it before they allow themselves to cup my ass, a surprised squeak catching in my throat. And, though I expect that to stop him, he works his hand around until it lightly brushes against my hardened member, a whine leaking from me as I grip Kaneki's shoulder tighter, my teeth clamped onto my bottom lip to hold in a moan.

"Don't be like that, Rin. C'mon. You can make noise if you want to," he whispers flirtatiously, using his lips to pry my one out of the hold of my teeth, causing me to inwardly curse him when a low and soft whine tears itself from me, Kaneki's mouth tugging into a satisfied smile before he takes possession of my own again. I can only guess he's trying to distract me from the way that he's starting to slowly curl his hand around my member, gradually motioning it up and down whilst he pushes his erection against me. Has he forgotten about my fucking brother being in the same building?! However, with the way that he refuses to break his lips from mine, I'm pretty sure that's the least of his worries, his hand beginning to pump my cock faster until a loud moan, louder than most, rips out of my lungs, my hips rocking upwards a little.

"Kaneki... I-I'm... I'm gonna-" Before I'm able to finish, I feel myself cum with a harsh cry, the warm liquid seeping onto the skin under my clothes, though I'm pretty fucking sure that it's managed to leak through them too, a sweat running over my skin to mirror the heat that's pulsing through my blood. "You ass," I breathe, Kaneki chuckling lightly as he traces his lips down to meet with the left side of my collarbone, sucking at the skin, though it's much softer this time as opposed to how he was acting earlier. "Was it really necessary to wank me off?" I hiss, this time causing Kaneki to burst into laughter when he meets my glare, peppering a light kiss on the tip of my nose before smiling sweetly.

"Sorry?" He squeaks with a giggle, a playful glower forming across my features as I gently push him off of me, his body rolling onto the ground next to me with an adorable laugh that I can't help but find cute. This time, I pin him under me, his silver eyes staring up at mine as I straddle him, as if in victory.

"No you're not," I chuckle, Kaneki biting down on his lip a little before cupping the back of my neck in his palm, pulling me down to meet his lips, the smile that I have tickling my features pressing against his. Is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time? Because now I need a new change of clothes because of this asshole. But holy hell he knows how to make that feel good.

"Alright... Maybe not," he responds when we pause for breath, my forehead leaning against his whilst my chest heaves with pants, his lips pecking against my own for a quick second before he rests his skull against the ground again, just gazing at me with an indescribable look. All I know is that I love it. Just as I lean down to kiss him again, the sound of footsteps causes me to scrabble off of him, both of us shooting to our feet whilst I try to hide myself behind Kaneki, Yukio soon rounding the corner the second I manage to conceal myself behind my boyfriend.

"You two. There's a demon loose in the town causing all kinds of carnage. You wouldn't happen to have seen a Hydra, would you? You know... A massive demon with multiple heads?" He hisses with a raised eyebrow, his eyes flickering towards the huge hole in the wall just right of Kaneki and I, both of us blushing bright ruby as we nervously laugh.

"Uh... Maybe?"


	27. Chapter 27: Crossfire

_**A/N**_

 _ **Well howdy there (because that's a thing now)! I don't think I have a lot to say about this chapter apart from ohmygodlastchapterwasoneofmyfirsttrieswritingsmuthowdidIdo?**_

 ** _I say ONE OF my first tries bc I_ have _written it before... Just not a detailed hand-job... I'll stop talking x''D_**

 _ **So yeah, I got addicted to Minecraft today and spent half my time trying to connect with my friend on a server ._. But I managed to get this chapter done AS WELL AS next chapter :O**_

 _ **Uh huh... Chappies for days! Well anyhoozles, I'll leave you to read now...**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

"I still don't understand why we had to wait for Okumura to go through a wardrobe change!" Bon rants as our small group of exorcists make haste towards where the demon, which is apparently called a Hydra, is headed, though _some_ of them can't drop the subject of my sudden desire to change clothes before setting out on this mission. I'd tell them all to blame Kaneki for that one, who I shoot a glare at whenever he nervously flickers his eyes in my direction, though I doubt they'd all approve of being told about my boyfriend doing _that_ to me. I swear, if we live through this mission, I'll freaking kill him.

"Well I wanna be comfortable doing missions! Unlike you, I take pride in my appearance!" I hiss in response, Bon's eyes quickly narrowing into a glower whilst he grits his teeth, looking about ready to lunge at me if it weren't for Shima creating a human wall between us, though anger pretty much sparks off of the two of us as we growl at one another.

"What did you say?!" He spits, Shima sweatdropping in the corner of my eye when he realizes that he's sandwiched between yet another one of our arguments. If it weren't for the whole panic about this demon right now, I'd probably be beating the crap outta that asshole just for using the wrong tone with me! Then again, he'd probably have me in a headlock before I even got close.

"Will you all shut up and focus!" Yukio barks from his place at the front of our small formation, causing me to roll my eyes as I fix them back onto the path before me, leading right to the amusement park where we were assigned to track down that ghost last year. Apart from Amaimon decided to drop in to have some 'fun' with me, that freaking asshat. When we were first told the name of this place back then, I think my mind accidentally translated it as 'Meth Land' which had me inwardly giggling the whole time we were doing that mission.

"Earth to Rin!" Kaneki suddenly calls, snapping me out of my thoughts so that I can focus on him, only to find that every single head is turned in my direction, all with pissed-off looks on their faces, though it's most potent on Yukio's. I'm gonna take a guess and say that he was explaining something whilst I zoned out.

"As I was saying... This Hydra isn't the same as the ones in Greek myth. This demon works in the opposite way, so to speak. Whereas the Hydra Hercules fights in the legends regrows two heads whenever one is severed, the _actual_ beast grows a body for every head it loses. Say I were to slice one of five heads off. The severed head would then grow itself a body and the process is pretty much endless. It acts sort of like bacteria, if you wish to use such an analogy." Bacteria. Analogy. My brother needs to learn to speak the same language as the rest of us, though, apparently, I'm the only one who thinks that when I see that everyone else is bobbing their heads in understanding. Whatever! I know what he was talking about!

"So how do we kill it?" I casually ask, Yukio thickly sighing, as if he knew I was going to ask such a question since it appears that all I care about is killing demons as opposed to learning all the facts and crap like that. What can I say? I prefer action and being on the field, not sitting in front of a text book absorbing fuck all information.

"To kill the bodies formed from the heads, you have to pierce its heart. But for the main body, or the host, as most call it, you have to use a demon sword," Yukio explains, all eyes once again falling on me with his inference. So what he's saying is that it's all down to me, as always, to kill this thing before it does the same to everyone here? Awh yeah!

"I always knew you guys couldn't do shit without me," I state proudly, some of them groaning whilst others roll their eyes, though Kaneki constantly fixates his concerned gaze upon me, as if he's worried that something's going to happen to me during this mission. Well no job's without its risks.

Before he can open his mouth to oppose the idea of me throwing myself headfirst into the fray, a sudden demonic screech rips through the air, all of our eyes being drawn towards the roller coaster that twists through the entire theme park, the writhing body of the Hydra perched on top with tongues flicking from the mouths of its multiple heads, its grape-coloured scales glinting in the harsh, evening sunlight, giving them a somewhat amber glow.

However, it's not the only demon here; slithering towards us with spindly, scaly bodies, what must be the smaller forms of the Hydra's severed heads move in to attack, my teeth gritting together. "You guys take care of them! I'll take the Hydra!" I command, every person present, save for Kaneki, nodding in agreement, unsheathing their weapons whilst Shiemi and Izumo summon their familiars.

"I'm not letting you go alone!" Kaneki cries, grabbing my wrist as I motion it to unleash my sword, though my eyes lock with his, fear darting through the flecks of his steely irises. Breaking my gaze away, I direct it towards the Hydra, gritting my teeth since I know that I can't waste any time. But if Kaneki gets hurt, I'm not gonna forgive myself for doing this.

"Fine. Let's go kill this thing," I growl, a small look of shock darting through Kaneki's features before they harden in determination, my hands ensnaring the crimson fabric that shrouds my sword, flicking open the clasps and allowing the material to crumple to the ground, revealing the sheath of Kurikara. Gripping the hilt of my blade, I tug it free from its home, blue flames instantly erupting from me the second it slides away from the scabbard, Kaneki's eyes widening a little in what looks to be awe when they do. I guess he's still not used to it yet.

Giving him a rough tug to snap him out of it, both of us begin our sprint towards where the Hydra awaits, the sound of dying demons echoing through the air as the guys take on the smaller creations that this beast has formed. It might seem like they're taking the back seat in all of this, however, the fact of the matter is that their weapons won't do shit to this creature. I'm the only one who can kill it so it makes sense that they take care of what they can. That makes quite a lot of difference from when we first became a team, when we really had to focus and plan to work well together.

When we finally reach the frame of the roller coaster, we waste no time in scaling it, gripping onto the freezing-cold metal rods and bars that construct the ride, both of us having to focus on not losing our footing since, if we did, one of two things could happen. Either we'd fall to our death or we'd have to use our kagunes to support us. Which, put lightly, would _not_ go down well with the guys! And, though I half expect something to go wrong, in no time at all, Kaneki and I are on the same level as the demon, the multiple heads of the Hydra motioning around, as if they're writhing, preparing to attack. "Distract them so I can get to the heart!" I call to Kaneki over the screaming of the wind and the wailing cries of the demons that are being slaughtered below us.

"Got it!" Kaneki shouts in response, tugging the twin pistols that Yukio had given him before the mission started from the holsters on his thighs, gripping tightly onto them before he darts forward, firing silver bullets left and right, doing exactly what I predicted. Due to the constant rain of bullets, the Hydra's confused heads all twist around to evade the onslaught of ammo that they're being assaulted with, growling and shrieking in frustration.

Taking my chance, I suddenly leap forward towards where I'm sure the heart of this thing lies, readying my sword so that I can instantly sink it into the demon's flesh. Releasing a strained cry, I lunge towards its chest, burying my blade right into the Hydra's skin, a pained scream tearing from the demon to signal that I clearly hit the right place. However, just for good measure, I twist my sword deeper, my flames engulfing it in raging azure fire that viciously licks at it, tearing away at its flesh.

However, before I can even take note of what's happening, one of the Hydra's heads begins to sway before it slams right into me, harshly knocking into me in a way that causes my body to lose balance, my feet slipping out from under me as I feel myself falling backwards with nothing to grab onto to support me.

Until Kaneki gives me something, his hand ensnaring mine with terror laced through his eyes, his fingernails practically sinking into my palm in his desperate attempt to stop me from falling, his teeth gritted together with the strain of trying to keep himself balanced. "I've got you, Rin! I won't let go!" He yells, grasping onto me tighter so that he can attempt to haul me back up to safety. But, just before I can latch my hand onto anything that will offer me an ability to clamber back up, the Hydra's dying body suddenly tumbles into Kaneki, completely throwing his balance until he tumbles from the frame, both of our bodies soon tearing through the air right towards the ground.

The second Kaneki increases his hold on me, I know exactly what he's going to do, a lump quickly forming in my throat. If he doesn't, we'll die. If he does, how the heck is everyone going to react? Then again, I don't think Kaneki's really concerned about that, his kagune tearing free from the base of his spine, two of the limbs reaching out and securely wrapping around the frame of the roller coaster whilst the other two curl around my torso, cradling me close to him whilst his arms encompass my shoulders.

Once we've managed to climb back onto a stable rod of metal, we begin to work on reaching the ground safely, unable to find any words since we're too busy trying to catch our breaths, counting our lucky stars that Kaneki managed to stop our descent before we met the ground and, most likely, our deaths.

After a few carefully placed steps, Kaneki and I are able to drop back to the floor again, Kaneki's arms instantly clutching me in a hug whilst his kagune crawls around my form so that he can hold me closer, his hand running over my hair in a protective gesture. "Are you alright? I'm so sorry. I panicked," he whimpers, prompting me to gently nod against his neck, peppering a light kiss on his jaw before curling up to him, appreciating the comfort that I get from his embrace.

"I'm fine, Kaneki. Calm down," I whisper in reassurance, able to hear Kaneki's frightened chokes, despite them being muffled in my hair. He worries way too much about me, though I don't really blame him considering that I'm constantly putting myself in danger. If I weren't so busy patting myself on the back for finally killing the Hydra, I wouldn't have gotten knocked off of the roller coaster in the first place.

Just as I go to pull away from him to assure him even further that he did the right thing, a sudden click from behind Kaneki causes my eyes to fly up instantly. And they're met with the sight of Yukio aiming a gun at the back of Kaneki's skull, my pulse spiking when I see what can only be defined as pure hatred in my brother's irises.

"Get away from him, Rin," He snarls under his breath, causing Kaneki to slightly turn towards Yukio, a startled gasp catching in his throat when he realizes that he's got a gun positioned right between his eyes, ready to be fired at a moment's notice.

"Yukio, what the fuck are you doing?!" I shout, clenching my hands into fists as I untangle myself from Kaneki's kagune, gradually motioning in front of him so that Yukio's unable to put a bullet through his brain without going through me first, my brother's unbelieving eyes widened when he figures out that I'm defending the person he's determined to kill.

"You know what he is, Rin. Don't you?! You've known all this time yet you allowed him near the class. Near _our_ friends! What the hell possessed you to think that it was perfectly alright to let a ghoul into a school full of humans?!" Yukio exclaims, refusing to lower his aim, what I'm sure is fury building up even more in his eyes whilst my entire body fills with exactly the same emotion, my teeth gritting together until it feels as though they're going to crack under the pressure.

"What about me? I'm a demon but I'm still allowed near them!"

"Ghouls are worse than demons, Rin. They're monsters that feed off of the flesh of innocent people for no other reason but to slake their disgusting lust! And it's my job to kill monsters," Yukio hisses with malice thick in his tone, his eyes locked with Kaneki, who I've completely pushed behind me at this point, as if I can protect him this way. So ghouls are worse than demons are they? Raising my hand, which is trembling with rage, I slide my fingers under my eye patch, tearing it from my face to reveal my furiously burning kakugan, my kagune slipping free from me so that I can curl it around Kaneki in a protective manner.

"Well then... You'd better have enough bullets for both of us," I spit, Yukio's eyes fixed on me and the way that my kakugan rages in the looming darkness of twilight, about a million emotions swamping his features before he suddenly allows them to dissipate, forming a stoic look on his face. With no words or hesitation, he switches his aim, placing it right between my eyes, his gaze cold and heartless as he stares at me as if he doesn't even know me any more.

Right before the crash of gunfire tears through the silence.


	28. Chapter 28: You Are Enough

_**A/N**_

 _ **BAM. That cliffhanger tho ;) And I had this chapter written instantly after the last one but I decided to hold it back because I'm eeeeeeeevil (maybe)**_

 _ **So ya, here's the next chapter and I'm updating earlier today because I've decided to do a double update tonight *yay* See! I'm not all that bad!**_

 _ **But this chapter might break your feels**_

 _ **Sorrynotsorry**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

"That's enough! Sorry, teach, but this is going too far!" Shima's voice protests, confirming that I'm still alive and breathing _without_ a bullet in my head, my body gradually losing tension whilst I blink my eyes open again, Yukio's gun clattering to the ground as Shima holds what looks to be Bon's in his grip, the barrel steaming. However, there's no blood on my brother, only a dent in the handle of his pistol that was clearly made by Shima to shock Yukio into dropping his weapon.

"Shima!" Bon protests, his eyes swimming with disbelief as they flicker between me, Shima, Kaneki and Yukio before locking with the salmon-haired teen again, who has a look of no regret in his chocolate irises. I can't believe that _Shima_ just saved my life. He's never gonna let me forget that one is he? However, Kaneki's kagune suddenly curling around me from behind snaps me out of my thoughts, cradling me in a protective shell whilst one of the four limbs smashes Yukio's gun, Kaneki's arms trembling against me as he holds me close to him.

"I'm sorry, Bon. But I'm not just gonna stand by and watch Okumura get his brains blown out by his own brother for no reason!" Shima argues, his voice no longer holding that tone of calm that all of us are used to; it's instead filled with a touch of fury combined with fear. Allowing his jaw to hang open, Bon steps forward, clamping Shima's shoulders in his grip so that he can stare at him with a solid gaze.

"You saw it yourself. He's a ghoul. He's a monster! And you're just gonna let him live?! He could kill all of us, Shima!"

"But he hasn't! I thought you'd learned to trust him! So what if he's a ghoul? So what if he's a demon! He's our friend, Bon! Or did you forget that?!" Shima cries, thrusting Bon away from him with hurt laced through his eyes, stumbling back a few steps closer to me, not allowing himself to relax at all. "I'm not gonna let you guys kill a friend. No way in hell," he tries to growl, though it comes out as more of a scared whimper, his hands visibly shaking, even from this distance.

"Sh-Shima's right! I'm sorry, Yuki, but this _is_ going too far," Shiemi squeaks, taking a place by Shima's side, widening the barrier that they create between my brother and me, like they're protecting me from him as if _he's_ the monster. I never thought _anyone_ would ever have to form a shield against my twin. Does Yukio honestly hate me so much that other people have to get involved to stop him from killing me without a second's hesitation? Am I really that much of a monster in his eyes?

"I'm not exactly all for siding with someone who's willing to kill his brother," Izumo sighs so nonchalantly, it actually makes me want to laugh, though I know that now is definitely not the time since I'm too busy breaking up inside towards the fact that Yukio was so ready to end my life. He didn't even look sorry about it. All I saw was fear and anger and hatred all in one glance. It takes everything I have to hold back the tears.

"Kaneki. Take Okumura to the train station. Give us the head's up when you get to Tokyo and we'll meet you there," Shima commands (yes, commands), locking gazes with Kaneki over my shoulder, his K'rik gripped firmly in his palms. Nodding once, Kaneki hesitantly unwraps his kagune from around me, his hand slipping into mine, which he proceeds to lightly tug, encouraging me to move. However, before I do, I lock eyes with Yukio one final time, seeing the exact same mixture of emotions that he held when he readied himself to kill me only seconds ago.

My own brother hates me.

* * *

When we finally reach the train station, Kaneki and I manage to get on a train to Tokyo pretty easily. And, since not many people tend to make this journey at this time of evening, just as with coming back to True Cross, there's nobody in the same cart as us, both of us completely alone. Once we step onto the train, I instantly slump down on the nearest seat, my tail limply dangling by my side when I allow it to lazily slip out from under my shirt, my head hanging itself so that I'm forced to stare at the ground, thinking of anything but crying.

Placing himself next to me, Kaneki rubs soothing circles into my back, just between my shoulders, whilst whispering comforting words to me in a way that would usually make me shudder, though all I'm able to do is just sit there, not moving, talking or listening. My head's too loud right now to permit any other form of communication to reach me. My friends. Who are they? I don't even know any more.

I thought Bon was my friend, yet he wanted Yukio to go ahead with killing me. I thought Koneko was my friend, yet all he did was cower behind Bon, looking as terrified of me as he did when he discovered that I was a demon. And Yukio. My brother. My _twin_. He's supposed to be the one person on the whole planet I can trust to defend me. To look after me and protect me because I'm family. To accept me no matter what happens to either of us. But he didn't. He wanted to kill me. Holy shit... My brother was gonna kill me.

Before I can control it, I suddenly burst into tears, completely breaking down to the point where Kaneki has to cradle me against him, my features instantly burrowing into his chest as I wail out pained sobs to mirror the agony in my heart. My brother. My only family. And I've lost him! No matter how much Kaneki rubs my shoulders, that pain never goes away. The pain of the truth. I don't have a family any more; it's been completely destroyed and there's nothing I can do to put it back together again.

"It h-hurts, Kaneki. It hurts s-so much," I weep, holding onto him as he attempt to hush me, placing gentle kisses in my hair as I cling to him, knowing that he's the only person I have left in the world to love and care about. The only person who would never hurt me, despite being the things that I am. Nuzzling his nose against my forehead, Kaneki proceeds to kiss the spot between my eyebrows, a hiccuping sound catching in my throat as he does.

"I'm sorry, Rin. I wish I could say I know how it feels. I wish I could tell you it's alright without lying to you," Kaneki whispers, my head nodding feebly against his chest as I suck in another sob, tears running down my cheeks in burning ribbons compared to the cold I feel inside. I just can't help it; every single time I close my eyes, I see Yukio pointing a gun at my skull. And it's breaking me bit by bit.

However, all of a sudden, I get a sudden urge. A desire to go somewhere that I've neglected visiting for so long because I've never been able to face the pain and guilt of what happened. But right now, I need a feeling of sanctuary that not even Kaneki arms can provide me with. Pulling myself away from Kaneki, I rub my face with the heel of my hand, shakily making my way over to the doors as we approach one of the stops along the way, Kaneki resting his hands on my hips with a small frown. "Rin? We're not in Tokyo yet," he murmurs, though I don't respond, too numb to feel anything but this longing right now.

"I know. There's somewhere I have to go, Kaneki," I croak, Kaneki's eyebrows furrowing closer together, though he doesn't stop me from getting off the train, his hand cradling my own as he follows beside me, not daring to ask what's on my mind, nor why I've randomly decided to get off at a stop that doesn't make any sense to him. I'm sure he'll get it eventually.

* * *

"Rin... Why're we in a graveyard?" Kaneki inquires as we pace into the site before the two of us, the tombstones of hundreds of different people dotted around in a linear fashion, allowing easy access to exactly who you wish to visit should you forget the exact location of where they were buried. How could you forget something like that? Remaining silent, I stiffly move through the graveyard, reaching exactly where I intend to go in a matter of minutes, staring down with my lip gripped between my teeth.

"Hey, old man. You miss me?" I whisper, placing a hand on my old man's tombstone with a choked hiccup, unable to hold my weight any more as my legs collapse from underneath me, causing me to crash to my knees with a sob, Kaneki's arm instantly wrapping around me so that he can attempt to soothe my quivering form. "I'm lost, dad. Yukio h-hates me. My friends t-turned on me. I feel s-so alone," I cry, cupping my face in my hands as I weep, as if trying to hide my tears out of shame. I feel so damn weak, though it isn't exactly my fault. It feels as though I've lost everything.

"Rin..." Kaneki murmurs, clutching me close whilst nestling his face into the back of my neck, allowing me to cry without him seeing how painfully broken I am, even though his arms are trying to hold me together. I know I still have him. I know I still have the people who protected me. But the thought of my own brother hating me sends stabs of pain through my heart, ones that never cease in their assault on my emotions.

"I need you, dad. I-I miss you," I whimper, tracing the engraving of his tombstone with my fingertips before my hand falls limp to my side again, the rest of my body following suit until I pretty much collapse into Kaneki's embrace, wailing in sorrow just like a child would, begging for my dad to come back. However, I soon find myself thinking back to when he was alive, constantly nagging me to prove how mature I'd become. Prove to him that I could fight even if it looked as if there wasn't any hope at all. Closing my eyes, I let out a short breath, feeling exhaustion clawing at me as it drags me into unconsciousness, my tears still leaking into Kaneki's clothes.

* * *

 _"Get off your ass and stop crying, you big baby!" A familiar voice snarls from above me, though it's only in a playful manner as opposed to an intimidating one, my eyes suddenly flying open and flickering up to see a misted image of my old man perched on his tombstone, grinning at me in the idiotic way he always did. "And before you ask, no, I'm not a freaking ghost. I'm the part of your head that's screaming at you to stop being such a huge wuss!" He yells, a wince warping onto my features, though I can't help but stare. He looks so real. Like I could reach out and touch him._

 _"And how am I supposed to do that? Yukio tried to kill me!" I retort, my voice wavering with the tears I'm still shedding, though I roughly rub them away so that I can get to my feet, my hands bundled into fists as I do. "How am I supposed to get over that, old man? Huh?!" I growl, though he just chuckles a little under his breath, connecting his feet with the ground whilst he places a comforting hand on my shoulder, a breath hitching in my throat as he does._

 _"All this time and you still don't have a single speck of hope in you, do you? So Yukio had a tantrum. Can you blame him for being scared?" He asks, my eyes casting themselves downwards as I slowly and solemnly shake my head, feeling a twinge of stupidity racing through me. I really_ can't _blame him; if it were me, I'd be freaking terrified too. "I know that isn't an excuse for him to shoot you. But c'mon. When have you ever acted rationally when you're scared?" He carries on, a small laugh catching under my breath as I shrug, running my hand through my hair._

 _"Never," I croak, the old man's lips tugging into a smirk as he pats my bicep twice, grinning like the idiot he always was._

 _"Exactly. Now you'd better wake up; I think your boyfriend's gonna be bordering on a heart attack," he chuckles, causing me to bite my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing along. However, before I even attempt to fight off sleep, I encompass my old man in a hug, holding him close to me as I burrow my face into his misty shoulder, his arms curling around my form ever so gently._

 _"I love you, dad," I whimper, a light smile tickling his lips as he runs his fingers over my hair, giving me one final squeeze before he pulls away, reaching his hands out so that he can tighten up my tie a little, smirking softly, as if with pride._

 _"I love you too, son. Even if you fell for a guy instead of a hot chick," he mutters, causing me to break out into a small fit of giggles, though I quickly quell them and catch my bottom lip underneath my teeth. "Don't give up, Rin. Your brother still loves you as much as he always has. And there are so many people who gain strength from your own. You gotta fight for them. You hear?" He orders, jabbing a finger into my chest as I let out another breath of a laugh, my head bobbing into a silent nod._

 _"Got it. See you around, old man," I chuckle, the scenery around me starting to fade into a pulsing ivory that gradually warps into the image of a single silver iris and a glowing kakugan, filled to bursting with worry._

"Rin! You scared the shit outta me, dammit!" Kaneki cries, hugging me close to him whilst his face buries into my neck, my arms slowly winding around him so that I can hold him against me, a small smile playing on my lips. I guess, no matter what, I'm always gonna have a bit of fight left in me.

"Stop crying, you big baby."


	29. Chapter 29: Radioactive

_**A/N**_

 _ **As promised... Double update**_

 _ **But you might not be thanking me after what happens... And I think you can probably tell that there's gonna be hella feels in it already...**_

 _ **Sorry but plot ;~;**_

 _ **I'm just gonna say two things**_

 _ **1\. Don't kill me**_

 _ **2\. I nearly cried writing this so don't be ashamed if you do cry**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^ (goes off to cry in a corner)**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

"Alright. Yeah, that's fine. I'll be right there," Kaneki mutters down the phone to Shima, who's most likely giving him the news that he, Izumo and Shiemi have managed to reach Tokyo safely, softly ending the call and slipping his phone into his pocket. "Will you be alright here with Touka whilst I go get them? I don't want you being in danger and there could be exorcists out there," he murmurs, gently cupping the hand that I don't have clasped around a cup of coffee, my head gradually bobbing into a nod, though that doesn't seem to settle the worry in his eyes. After what happened earlier, I bet there's no way he wants to leave me on my own. In order to reassure him, I cup the back of his neck in my palm, pulling him down for a quick kiss before I lock my gaze with his.

"I'll be fine. Go get them," I mutter, Kaneki's nervous eyes flickering in Touka's direction, knowing that me and her aren't exactly the best of friends. I guess I can understand why he's so nervous about going it alone knowing that me and her are gonna be left in one room that's filled with a lot of breakable china. Hey... As long as she doesn't start anything with me, then maybe everything will be in once piece by the time he gets back.

"Alright. I won't be long," Kaneki assures me, planting a firm kiss on my forehead before pulling away, that nervous look never abandoning his irises as he makes his way towards the exit of the shop, one final glance being cast towards the two of us. "Behave!" He commands, narrowing his eyes into a slight glower before finally leaving the shop, my body instantly losing tension as I flop back into the chair with a loud sigh.

"So... You must've really fucked up to have your brother point a gun at your face," Touka states with a chuckle, running her hand through her hair as she lands into the seat opposite me, trying to meet my eyes, though I keep them away from her; she knows I don't like her and that she doesn't like me. So why the heck is she even trying to make conversation? "I know how it feels, you know. To have your brother turn on you," she suddenly mutters, my eyes widening a little as I actually allow myself to stare at her, a dismayed look flickering onto her features whilst she sadly smiles, as though there are fond memories there that have been tainted by sadness over the years.

"How come?" I inquire, a slightly startled look flooding into her irises when her gaze snaps up to meet mine, though they quickly soften again whilst she brushes a strand of indigo hair away from her eyes. Cupping her own mug in her palm, she brings it to her lips, taking a steady sip before placing it down again with a small sigh. I never imagined that _Touka_ , of all people, would have many troubles given how tough she seems on the exterior.

"I have a brother. Ayato. When we were younger, we got along well. Until he took off out of the blue. He just abandoned us. Abandoned me. Now he hates me and tries to kill me whenever we meet. So trust me, I can empathize," she explains, my eyebrows rising a little at her story as I gulp down another mouthful of coffee, though I can't help but feel a slice of guilt twist through me when I see the clear pain that this brings to her, even if she's too 'tough' to show it.

"It's horrible to think that your own blood will turn on you so quickly without reason," I murmur sadly, staring down at the swirling liquid held within the mug in my palms, letting a sigh slip from me when I'm hit with the agony in my heart all over again, even though, despite trying to kill me, Yukio apparently still loves me deep down. It just hurts knowing that he was so quick to almost pull the trigger. Noticing my clear dismay, Touka leans back in her chair, throwing her gaze in a different direction so that it doesn't have to meet mine, though I'm too busy wallowing in self-pity to connect my eyes with hers again.

And it stays that way for about an hour, nothing but silence filling the small shop in its evening hours, though the sun has completely sank into the horizon by this point, the midnight-blue canvas of nighttime stretching across the sky with the occasional silver speck creating a dab of light upon it. Kaneki should be back by now. He should've gotten back at least ten minutes ago. "I'm going to the station," I mutter blankly, getting to my feet whilst my tail swirls around my ankles, though Touka also follows suit, shaking her head as she blocks my way.

"Kaneki told you to stay here. I'm sure he's fine, Rin," Touka tries to assure me, though it only results in my hands balling up into fists, my teeth quickly gritting themselves together as I advance towards her. And, though I can't see them, sparks begin to spit out of my fingertips, though I keep them curled against my palm so that they're not released.

"Just let me pass, Touka," I growl a little menacingly, something that catches Touka off-guard, though she manages to cover up any fear that my tone brought her by pressing her lips into a straight line, eyebrows folding into a frown of protest. Why the fuck won't she let me go out to find him?!

"No way. Kaneki wants you to stay here, Rin! He doesn't want you putting yourself in danger!" She yells, her kakugans beginning to activate so that the whites of her eyes gradually start to drown in ebony, her irises turning a brilliant crimson that attempts to burn into me. However, I simply show my own, snarling a little under my breath. Something could be wrong. Somebody could've gotten to Kaneki whilst he was out trying to bring back _my_ friends. If he got injured, it'd be my fault!

"I think I can handle myself," I hiss, eventually gathering up my courage and forcefully pushing past her, though her hand roughly ensnares my wrist, preventing me from going anywhere. "Let go," I spit, though her grip on me only gets tighter, causing my fingers to gradually uncurl until sparks are leaping from them in small flurries. "LET GO!" I yell, my body suddenly exploding into blue fire as I push Touka away from me, her form being thrown to the ground with a sharp intake of breath when I use a little more force than intended.

And that second is the exact moment Kaneki walks in.

Instantly, his eyes fly between me and Touka, taking in the way that I'm enveloped in flames and how Touka's crumpled on the floor, the palm that she used to try and hold me back appearing to be burned, blisters splintering across her palm. As predicted, Kaneki rushes over to her, crashing to his knees beside her as he inspects her for any sign of injury, a breath hitching in his throat when he sees the burns, causing my stomach to begin knotting up into about a million coils.

"Rin... What the hell did you do?!" He exclaims, his panicked, yet fearful, eyes locking with me and the way that my flames crawl around me, flickering through the dimly-lit shop to illuminate every surface in an azure hue, my friends somewhat cowering in the doorway. Opening my mouth to speak, I find that no words form, my head eventually hanging itself when I give up; I have no way of defending myself. 'I got pissed because she was doing what you told her to do' doesn't really sound like a very good excuse.

"I got worried about you. I wanted to go and find you but she got in my way. And I... I got angry," I mutter under my breath, unable to lock eyes with Kaneki since I know that he's gonna hold a look in them that's most likely going to tear through me, leaving pain in its wake.

"So you attacked her?! What the fuck is wrong with you, Rin?!" Kaneki shouts in a harsh tone, causing me to flinch as I gradually connect my gaze with his, though I'm met with exactly what I didn't want to see warping through his silver flecks. Fear. Anger. He's scared of me. He's angry at me. He... He hates me.

"It was an accident! I swear! I didn't mean to hurt her!" I try to defend, though Kaneki breaks his eyes away from mine, shaking his head as he starts murmuring inaudible utterances to Touka, her head nodding itself at certain points and shaking at others, that knot in my stomach only doubling in size whilst my hands begin to tremble.

"I trusted you, Rin. I trusted you to stay here with her without anything going wrong. I trusted those damn flames of yours and now look what's happened!" He barks, a sudden sting slamming through my heart as I suck in a small gasp, tears beginning to gloss over my eyes at I stare at Kaneki's furious ones, which aren't willing to forgive me for this accident. Why can't he believe me?! He's supposed to love me and trust me and know that everything I tell him is the truth! Why can't he see that I'm not making this up?! I didn't mean to injure Touka; it was all just an accident torn from my shitty temper!

"Why won't you believe me?! I didn't mean to, Kaneki! I promise, it was just an accident!" I wail, unable to breathe any more without every single breath sounding like a desperate gasp for air, riddled with sobs that barely make it into my lungs. I can't have him push me away too. I can't lose him. Not over this. Not over a dumbass mistake that he should be able to forgive. "Please, Kaneki. Y-You have to believe me," I whimper, eventually clamping my teeth onto my bottom lip to stop it from quivering. And, though I expect to see any sign that Kaneki's reconsidering, none present themselves, an emotionless look possessing his features as he does something he never has before. Getting to his feet, he coldly makes his way over to me, raising his hand before harshly slapping it across my cheek.

"You used those powers to hurt _my_ friend! That's just something I won't tolerate, Rin! I thought you knew how to control them! I thought you'd never hurt anyone you didn't have to harm! But I was wrong. How could I fool myself into thinking that a demon can be tamed?" Those words, said with so much venom and rage, sends a spear of agony right through my heart, ripping through my chest until it burns through my veins like poison, those tears that were contained in the corners of my eyes soon tumbling down my throbbing cheek, the stinging slicing through my face each time I draw breath.

Demon. He called me a demon. And he spat the word with so much viciousness, as if it was like a toxic substance in his mouth, even more so to say. Every time I repeat his words over in my head, the pain is refreshed until it feels as though I'm unable to breathe without feeling it. Unable to think or move or do anything without being assaulted by this agony. He hates me. The only person I have left. The only person I've managed to love more than anything or anyone I've ever loved before. And he's pushing me away.

"Kaneki... Please... Please don't," I whimper, trying to hold myself together whilst I fool myself into thinking that he's actually going to change his mind. That he'll see me as he always has prior to learning about my demonic origins. But he doesn't; the expression on his face doesn't change, though tears begin tumbling down his face, which he turns away from me in rejection. "Kaneki," I sob, reaching out a hand to him, begging every single God I think of right now that he'll take it and forgive me for accidentally harming Touka.

"Don't touch me... Demon," he spits, the words tearing through me like scissors through paper, my heart splintering bit by bit as if someone has shot a bullet through glass, the damage spreading from the source until my entire body is consumed, scalding tears tearing down my face. He hates me. Kaneki hates me.

Unable to take the crushing agony any more, before anyone's able to stop me, I sprint out of Anteiku, wailing out sobs as I run away from there and the only one to ever heal me. He's broken me. And I don't think I'll ever pull myself back together again.

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V**_

What the fuck have I done?


	30. Chapter 30: White Silence

_**A/N**_

 _ **So... Last chapter.**_

 _ **I'm sorry... But the heartbreak doesn't end there... Js ;~;**_

 _ **THIS HURTS ME TOO, Y'KNOW! THEY'RE MY BABIES TOO!**_

 _ **Sorry I needed to get that out of my system x'D But yes, I love these two with all of my little heart and I hate doing this to them but I don't have any other choice. This is how the plot goes and I must stick to it :'(**_

 _ **Anyhoo, I'll let you read now :3**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V**_

Before I know what's happening, a palm suddenly collides with my face, causing my head to snap to the side as a bitter stinging sensation sizzles across my skin, a hiss of pain slipping through my gritted teeth.

"What's wrong with you?! You have no idea what Rin's been through!" Shiemi cries with an anger that I've never heard in her voice before thick in her tone, my eyes flickering in her direction to see her visibly quivering with rage, her hands crumpled into fists at her sides. I've never seen her with anything but a smile on her face, though, now, her features are folded into a mixture of sorrow and fury, tears running from her eyes. "He's always scared of people pushing him away! H-How dare you say those things to him! If anyone's a monster, it's you!" She spits, a twist of pain instantly coiling through me as her words force me to wince, fingers curling up by my sides so that the rest of them don't notice how they tremble.

"That's enough, Moriyama. C'mon. We're all tired. We just need sleep," Shima mutters softly, though he also projects a cold look in my direction, another thing that's out of character for him. They really hate me, don't they? And rightfully so. What the fuck is wrong with me?! What the hell possessed me to say those things to Rin? I wish I could say something did, but I know that there wasn't a demonic presence attached to me when I yelled at him. It was completely my choice. What the fuck is wrong with me?!

"I... I'm going out to find him," I croak, tears beading in the corners of my eyes, though I don't permit them to fall since I know that, if I do, they're not gonna stop. I'm such a fucking idiot. Why the hell would Rin even wanna talk to me again after everything I accused him of being? He's not a monster. He's not a demon... Not in my eyes. Why did I push him away like that?! He was begging me to believe him and I didn't. Why the hell didn't I?! Just as I make my way over to the door, Touka grasps my sleeve, tugging me back whilst she slowly shakes her head, causing a frown to knit upon my eyebrows.

"Just give him time to cool off first. No offence, but he probably doesn't wanna see you right now," Touka mutters, hurt racing through my chest as her words slam into me like somebody just threw a brick squarely at my torso. Because I know she's right. I wouldn't be surprised if Rin hated me by this point. And I deserve it all. To feel this guilt. To be hated by him and his friends. To completely and utterly hate myself.

"She's right. You've done enough damage already," Izumo hisses, my eyes darting between the three of them and the way that all of their glares agree, my hands slipping out of their tight fists so that they can quiver violently, my lips parted, as if to speak, though no words form. Clamping them shut, I bow my head and push past the small group of the people who now hate my guts, quickly breaking into a sprint the second I'm away from them until I'm shut away in my old room here in Anteiku, the door firmly locked behind me.

The second the click snaps through the air, I press my back against the wood, breathing in a shaky breath before I slide down to the ground, pressing my knees to my chest so that I can rest my forehead on them. And, as soon as I do, I finally break, tears streaming from my eyes as my body shudders with sobs, the occasional wail tearing from me whenever I think back to the desperation on Rin's face before I spat those disgusting words that I wish to take back with everything I have. He trusted me to believe him. But, in that moment, I didn't. And now I regret it more than anything I've done before.

"I d-didn't mean it," I whimper into my knees, hugging them closer to me when my sobs start to catch in my throat, sounding more like sorrowful chokes as opposed to the sound that accompanies tears, my heart chipping more and more with each fresh breath I take. "I didn't mean it," I whisper again, continuing to weep until I feel physically exhausted, though I can't bring myself to stop. I hate myself. I lashed out at Rin for no reason and now he's gone. What if he never comes back? What if he never lets me anywhere near him again? He was bringing me back to life. He was giving me my humanity back. And now I've pushed it all away again. Shiemi's right. I'm a monster and I always will be.

"Kaneki?" A soft voice sounds from the other side of the wooden barricade that I've set up to seal myself away from the world that I no longer wish to face as I'd be doing so alone. Hiccuping a sob, I slightly raise my head, my eyes flitting over my shoulder for about a second before I bury them into my knees again.

"Leave me alone," I weep, ignoring Shiemi since she probably only wants to speak to me so that she can further blame me for something that I already know is my fault. I'm not exactly in the mood to be reminded of what an idiotic asshole I am; I already know far too well. I need to try and think of something to distract my mind from it all. To try and stop myself from freaking crying. So, unraveling my kagune, I start carving numbers into the wooden floor beneath me. 1000. 993. 986. 979.

"Kaneki, I wanna speak to you," Shiemi insists, though I try to pay her no mind, still scratching away at the wood whilst breaths that portray my pain constantly hitch in my throat, the three idle limbs of my kagune curling around me in a sense of protection. Like they can shield me from the hatred, despite it filling me from the inside, as well as out.

"Just go away!" I cry, my voice wavering with the tears that won't stop, constantly tumbling down my face until they numb the stinging pain that I felt when Shiemi slapped me; now, scalding lines are being traced by the silver liquid that won't cease in burning ribbons onto my face. I don't want to see anyone. I just want to be alone.

"I'm not leaving until you let me apologize!" Shiemi calls from the hallway in which she stands, my body instantly going numb whilst my kagune halts at the number 400. She wants to apologize? Why the hell would she even consider doing that after what I did? She hates me, right? So why would she think of saying sorry to a monster like me? Even still, curiosity consumes me and I hesitantly use my kagune to flick the lock open, though I only shuffle to the side a little so that she can step into the room, keeping myself huddled into a ball with the limbs of my kagune cradling me.

Once she's able to, Shiemi slips through the small gap in the door, instantly noticing the numbers etched into the panels of wood on the floor, her eyes hesitantly falling upon me and the mangled ball of black, white and crimson that I am, barely any colour to my skin at all. As my gaze hesitantly locks with hers, I see regret splintering through her soft, mint irises, her feet carrying her over to me so that she can kneel beside me, suddenly tucking me under her arm in a comforting gesture. Without even thinking about it, I free my arms from under my kagune and cling to her, burying my face into her kimono as I loudly sob.

"I didn't mean it. I... I don't know what the hell happened. And now he's gone and it's all my fault and I don't know what to do. I hate it. I hate myself," I wail, pouring out all of my thoughts and sorrows in one go, Shiemi only trying to hush me as I weep like a frightened child, her hand gently rubbing my back as I cry.

"Rin's had this happen before. Being accused of things he didn't mean to do. When we all found out about him being a demon for the first time, Bon and Konekomaru were terrified of him, especially Konekomaru. When a demon took advantage of that fear, Rin was the only one who could see it. But whenever he tried to attack it, Bon thought he was attempting to hurt Konekomaru. Nobody believed him until he finally killed the demon.

But even then, he never ran away. He never let the words get to him. I know you know this, Kaneki, but you've really hurt him in a way that none of us would ever be able to. I think you've broken his heart," Shiemi explains, relaying the honest truth, which I both respect and resent her for. I know that I've managed to damage Rin's emotions so much to the point where he physically couldn't take it any more. And the guilt of that action is crushing me from the inside. It's only a matter of time before it starts affecting me on the exterior too.

"I know what I've done. And I'd do anything to take it back. But I can't! No matter what, Rin's always gonna have the memory of me pushing him away, even if he forgives me by some insane miracle. I'm the one who's supposed to be there for him. To tell him it's all alright and that, even if his brother sees him as a monster, I'll never think of him that way. To tell him that I love him. But, instead, I turned on him too. What the fuck's wrong with me, Shiemi?! What the fuck is wrong with me?!" I whine, though it reduces to nothing but whimpers as I carry on sobbing, Shiemi's fingers running through my hair as she once again tries to hush me, though I can't calm myself down no matter how much anyone may try.

Rin's gone. He's out there on his own in danger because of me. He could get hurt and it'd be my fault. He could get captured by exorcists and it'd be my fault. Whatever happens to him out there is completely down to me and the stupid words I somehow permitted myself to say, despite having full control of my actions. And even if I did go after him and managed to find him, what's to say he'll even come back? I've hurt him. I've _broken_ him. Why would he ever even think of coming back to me. "I've lost him. I've lost him and I can't get him back!" I wail, eventually tugging myself away from Shiemi so that I can envelop myself in the shell that my kagune creates around me, whimpering sobs into my arms as they link around my head, trying to offer me at least a tiny shred of support.

"It'll be alright. Rin loves you, Kaneki. He may not have said it directly to you, but he does. And I'm sure it's not easy to stop loving someone, even after they hurt you," Shiemi murmurs, my cracked heart suddenly throbbing in my chest at the word 'love', as if it's not used to hearing it said aloud often. Does he? Does he really love me? I don't understand how he could. How anyone could. I'm just a fucked up kid whose life was torn to shreds and all I've done is scream and cry about it ever since it happened. I can't imagine _anyone_ loving someone like that.

But Rin and I are similar. Just like me, his humanity was stolen from him upon becoming a ghoul. He was forced to face the hunger and the horrific things that had to be done to slake the blood lust. Just like me, he was forced into a world that he didn't know without a choice of whether he wanted to adjust or not. But, unlike me, I tried to help him. To support him and give him hope that life is worth living, even like this. I guess I've never realised it until now, but, whilst I've been helping him, he's done the same for me. He's... He's made me human again. As human as I'll ever be.

"I have to find him," I mutter under my breath, gradually rising to my feet whilst Shiemi does the same, her eyes shimmering with a determination that partners her confident nod, the smallest flicker of a smile gracing the corner of my lips. We need Rin; despite him being more damaged than most of us, he's the one that fixes us when we're broken. Without him in our lives, we're nothing.

However, the second Shiemi and I go to take to the streets, Shima suddenly bursts into the room, ragged pants being torn from his lungs whilst his face drowns in a salmon hue that burns darker than his hair, which is tossed all over the place.

"Guys... Y-You have to see this!" He gasps, beckoning for us to follow him down the twisting hallway that eventually leads to the shop, Touka's panicked eyes falling upon us the second we tumble out of the shadows, though her gaze soon flickers back to the TV that's suspended from the wall, displaying an image of the news. At first, I'm confused, until I see the 'Breaking News' banner tracking along the bottom screen.

With an image of Tokyo engulfed in blue flames partnering it.


	31. Chapter 31: Let the Flames Begin

_**A/N**_

 _ **This is it. This is the big one, though it's NOT the end of the story! I promise you guys that much :3 But yes... This is where all the shit goes down and I'd like to thank the people in the comments who were having an argument last chapter (you know who you are) for giving me a small idea for this chapter, though I already had it planned for at least a month now x'D**_

 _ **So I won't keep you any more... Just... Be prepared for feels m'kay?**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

Demon. That's all I am. That's all I'll ever be in the eyes of any who gaze upon me for the disgusting monster I've become. Why did I think that anybody would ever see me differently? What made me so sure that Kaneki would truly accept me for the beast I am? Why did I fool myself into that idea? Now he hates me and the pain I feel shattering through my heart, proceeding to tear through my limbs at a rapid pace, is worse than having my lung torn apart. It hurts more than bleeding out. Because it's a hurt from which I'm never going to find relief.

I still love him. I still love Kaneki more than anything I've ever known, despite all of the things he said to me back there. I can't help it; all he's given me since we met is support, constantly caring for me in a way that nobody ever has before. He's made me feel cherished and worth something, even if it's exclusive to just him. He saved me. And, no matter what he does, nor what he says, there's nothing I can do but be completely and utterly in love with him. Which is why this pain is so great. Why him spitting the word 'demon' at me stings so much whenever I think about it. I love him... But he hates me.

Eventually, after God knows how many minutes of non-stop running, a dull ache begins to twist through my body, starting in my legs until everything is completely consumed, a weakness washing over me like a tidal wave that wishes to bring down anything in its path. Unable to hold my weight any more, after slowing to a lifeless walk, I collapse to my knees in the center of town, cupping my face in my hands as I just weep, my form trembling with each fresh sob. I'm alone. Once again, I'm all alone, abandoned by the people who love me, more tears leaping to my eyes when I consider that thought. I... I have no one.

"What's it like living with a broken heart, demon?" A voice suddenly hisses from the shadows, the tone sickly sweet as the speaker inquires with a small giggle to her voice, causing ice to rapidly splinter through me as I suck in a sharp gasp, only encouraging her cackles to grow in volume. I know that voice. I know that laughter. But it can't be. Th-There's no way! "Did you miss me, Rin?" She squeaks, my skin paling as I gradually raise my tear-filled eyes to stare directly in front of me, only to be met by a blur of sakura.

"You're not real. You can't be. I-I killed you!" I wail, terror instantly lacing through me when I remove the liquid from my eyes, able to get a better image of the girl in my vision, a thick lump forming in my throat the second my suspicions are confirmed, my hands beginning to tremble at my sides. I... I can't believe it.

Shoki's still alive.

Giggling in an insane manner, Shoki tilts back her head so that her maniacal laughter can tear through the silence of the night, a wince forming on my features as I try to clamber to my feet, though she quickly snaps her eyes in my direction, her kagune racing from the base of her back so that she can punch holes through my hands and legs, keeping me pinned to the ground whilst I release a pained scream.

"You got close. And I was very offended; I just wanted a decent meal. I'm sure you can understand that now, right?" She hisses, my teeth clenched together whilst I hiss out pained breaths, anger swirling through my blood at her words when she reminds me that, not only am I demon, but I'm also what most people in this world consider to be a monster too, my kakugan activating, as if on cue.

"Shut up. I don't k-kill people," I spit, trying to strengthen the barriers that I wish to impose against her so that she can't get through to me; if I let her do that, who the heck knows what'll happen? However, Shoki just cries out another screech of a laugh, twisting her kagune deeper into my legs until I can't hold in my wail of pain, agony splintering through my limbs each time she drills the appendages further into my flesh.

"Oh I know. You prefer to feast off of the corpses of hopeless humans with no care for their own life any more. How does it taste, Rin? All of that sorrow. That cold, hard regret of existing. I'd really love to know. I bet it's just as satisfying as ripping apart the living," she whispers, chilling my blood with every fresh breath, though rage sizzles through the coldness as her words send vicious spikes of anger through me, sparks spouting from my fingertips every other second. Why aren't I trying to fight back? I have my kagune. I have my flames. What the hell am I doing?!

Not giving her a verbal response, I allow my flames to erupt from my body, instantly forcing them to attack her, though she effortlessly evades their wrath with a childish giggle that only increases my rage, a furious snarl growling from me as I send yet another attack towards her. However, just as before, she jumps out of the way, my hands balling into frustrated fists as I resort to unraveling my kagune, which I hurl in her direction in the hopes of landing a single hit. Even if I don't, I need to at least pin her down.

But everything I throw at her constantly misses, her own kagune combating my own whilst she effortlessly ducks and dives out of the way of my flames, a bored expression on her face whenever she brushes the stray chunks of sakura-coloured hair away from it. Unable to take the irritation of not landing a single attack on her, I finally unsheathe my sword, lunging forward with a vicious cry of anger, slicing my blade through the air in her direction, though she manages to defend herself with her kagune, which she uses to slam Kurikara out of my hands before burying the tip of one of her kagune's limbs deep into my stomach.

With a scream of agony, my own kagune goes limp, blood instantly gushing from the wound whilst Shoki just cries out shrieks of laughter, twisting her gruesome appendages around so that more pain shoots through my body, my flames quickly going out the second weakness completely overrides me, meaning that I'm unable to even hold myself up any more, my knees buckling within seconds. Why... Why can't I fucking beat her?! "It's so sweet seeing you try. But you can't kill me, Rin. You're too weak. You'll never protect the people you love, even if you wanted to. Not even sweet little Kaneki, the love of your life. I can't wait to get to him, you know. I can't wait to rip his flesh from his bones strip by strip whilst he screams, still alive to endure the agony. It'll be so much fun! Just like when he was tortured by dear old Jason!" She squeals, though everything around me suddenly falls completely silent, my body going numb the second she reveals what she plans to do to the person I love with everything I have.

She's going to hurt Kaneki. She's going to put him through sheer agony unlike anything he's faced before. Worse than the torture that he still wakes up screaming about after being plagued by the nightmares that they've cursed him with. And I won't be able to protect him. Unless I stop her before she even manages to lay a hand on him. I have to do it. I have to if I want to protect him.

 _Accept me, Rin. My power's yours for the taking. Do it. Kill her. Burn her. Destroy her body so that she may never get close to Kaneki. Take my power, Rin. Take it, my son._

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V *PRESENT***_

I can barely breathe as I force myself to sprint as fast as I possibly can towards the eye of the storm, raging blue fire spreading through every single alleyway and winding street, meaning that I practically have to evade each wall of flickering flames I find myself facing. Because they're hot, burning into my skin whenever they make contact. When I first felt Rin's flames around me, they were warm and protective, like the embrace of someone who wants nothing more than for you to be safe. But these flames are different. These are the flames of someone who's lashing out. Someone who's filled with a rage unlike any other. Someone who's terrified. And it's all my fault.

Eventually, when I figure that I can't dive any deeper into this violent fire without being burned to a crisp, I know that I must be close to him, my kagune curling around me to protect me from the blue blaze, as if it'll stop me from getting injured. And, despite the fact that it won't be much, it'll at least offer a small shred of shelter, though I know that I'm going to be attacked the second I try to enter the swirling epicenter of this cyan sea of fire. But Rin's in there. I have to save him from whatever has consumed his mind.

As predicted, once I step into the flames, a cry of pain instantly rips from me when the blaze burns at any skin it can find, screams of agony clogging up my throat as I push them down, not allowing myself to cave in to the torturous sizzling that splinters through me. Rin. I need to get to Rin. However, every time I take a step forward, it feels as though gravity is doubling in strength, my body losing energy fast every single time I try to draw in breath. Is this the full potential of his powers? Or is this a greater force in play?

Just when I feel as though I'm never going to find him through his massive swelling of flames, I suddenly spot a figure through the fire, though it's bent into a feral pose, a pair of crimson pupils blaring through the blue without any kind of struggle. At first, I refuse to believe it's Rin, until I take a few steps closer, only to catch sight of the navy hair that I'm all to familiar with, the strands of it viciously whipping in the swirling vortex surrounding him whilst his tail writhes behind him in sync with his kagune, which looks ready to rip into the next person who dares to face him until nothing's left of them.

"Rin...?" I whimper, his eyes instantly fixing on me with an animalistic snarl, causing a sharp gasp to hitch in my throat when I realize that, whoever it is that's stood before me, it sure as hell isn't the Rin I know. I think it's fair to say that what I'm staring upon right now is a demon. But he's in there. He has to be. Hesitantly lifting my foot, I take a single step forward in his direction, though, in that same second, one limb of his kagune shoots through my stomach.

Gasping in pain, I clutch the area that's now leaking blood at a dangerous rate, his kagune drawing back whilst he continues to growl at me, warning me to not come any closer. But I can't stop. I need to get through to him otherwise this side of him will completely take over. "Rin... You need to wake up," I choke, taking yet another step towards him, only to have my arm sliced open by the razor-sharp edge of another limb of his kagune, a cry of pain tearing from me when blood begins to rage from the wound.

Yet I carry on, putting up with each fresh hit every single time I motion even a tiny bit closer to him, though agony slices through probably every inch of my body. I can't let this happen to him. I can't let him fall into the hands of this demonic influence, never to surface again as the boy I know and hopelessly love. I'm not just gonna lose him to this!

When I finally get close enough, literally within arm's reach of him, he releases a sharp roar of complete, demonic fury, slamming all four limbs of his kagune through my middle, tearing through my torso in the hope that he'll hit my heart and kill me before I can get to him. But he doesn't, though I can't deny that the agony felt from the blow is almost enough to knock me out, my head wildly spinning as blood streams from the gaping wound in violent waterfalls of ruby.

Trying my hardest to ignore the pain, I finally collapse onto him, my arms throwing themselves around his neck as I pull him closer to me, his kagune twisting around inside my stomach to widen the wound, encouraging a scream of agony to tear from me right beside his ear, which has doubled in length and ends in a much more aggressive point. "Rin... Please. You have to hear me. Wake up. You gotta snap out of it," I whimper since I'm doing everything I can to cover up my wails of pain, his kagune seeming to suddenly freeze with my words. "Stop this, Rin. You're hurting people. You're... You're hurting me," I choke, blood rising to my mouth until I have to cough it out over Rin's shoulder in order to carry on breathing, my body shuddering with pain. As I do, I swear I feel him flinch in my arms, his kagune sliding out from my torso whilst what sounds like a whimper catches in the back of his throat, a pair of arms suddenly curling around me.

"K-Kaneki?" Rin's terrified voice whispers, his hands clinging to me to confirm that he's finally come back to me, a sob sounding from me as I press his body against my own, his face instantly burying into my shoulder as he releases a loud cry of fear, all of my pain melting so that I can focus on comforting the broken boy in my arms.

"It's okay, Rin. You're okay," I assure him, my eyes cracking open to see the flames that were previously swirling around us in a vicious manner are beginning to ebb and quell from their source, meaning that, hopefully, the entire city will soon be devoid of them. Sighing in relief, I run my hand over his hair, cradling him as softly as I can whilst the tingling sensation of regeneration races through my torso, most likely joined to the wound that's slowly swelling shut again.

"I'm sorry, Kaneki. I'm so sorry. Sh-Shoki came back. She said she was gonna torture you. I-I killed her and I... I just couldn't control the power," Rin sobs, though I only shake my head, hushing him softly as I plant a tiny kiss onto his skull, whispering comfort to him, his arms trembling around me. However, he suddenly hisses in what sounds like pain, causing me to pull out so that I can study his face, a trail of blood slipping from the corner of his mouth whilst he appears to cry blood as he weakly looks at me, tears beading his eyes, as if he knows something I don't. "I'm sorry, Kaneki. I... I love you," he whimpers before his eyes roll back and he collapses onto me, a terrified breath hitching in my throat the second his limp form collides with my lap. No. No no no no! Please no!

"Rin?! Rin, wake up!" I cry, my eyes frantically searching him for any sign of life, though his body doesn't shift with the breaths that he should be pulling into his lungs, my blood instantly running cold the second I even begin to consider that what I'm thinking is true. "RIN! PLEASE!" I beg, desperately trying to shake him awake with viciously shaking hands, though he doesn't respond to anything that I try. He's not gone. He's not. He can't be! I cant't lose him again! Not like this!

But, no matter what I do, he says nothing. He doesn't move. He doesn't open his eyes. His body doesn't shift with his breathing. He just lies in my lap, his lips slightly parted whilst that sliver of blood stains the corner of his mouth and chin, trails of the crimson substance also splattered on his pale cheeks.

With shaking fingers, I brush a few strands of hair out of his eyes, tears already racing from my own as I softly cup his face in my palm, trying to avoid having a complete breakdown. "Please... Wake up, Rin. I love you. PLEASE! Just wake up!" I wail, bundling him up in my arms so that I can press him against my chest, finally screaming out sobs as I hug him as close as I possibly can, willing with everything I have that he'll open his eyes like this is all just some kind of joke. "I'm sorry. I love you. I-I'm so sorry, Rin. Please wake up. Please, Rin. Wake up. Wake up! I'm sorry. I-I... I love you," I choke with a voice that wavers with complete and utter sorrow, though I get no response, my tears splattering into his hair as I weep in despair.

He's gone.

R-Rin's dead.


	32. Chapter 32: Hold On To You

_**A/N**_

 _ **So... About last chapter...**_

 _ **I'M SORRY! IT HURTS ME TOO YOU KNOW BUT PLOT Dx**_

 _ **But like I said, that was not the last chapter, nor is this one. However, there will only be either one or two chapters left of this story until it's finished and then SEQUEL! But I'll give you more info on that in the epilogue...**_

 _ **Anyhoo, I'll let you fix your hearts now...**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V**_

 _Why does it always rain? Whenever something like this happens, why is it that the sky feels the need to weep alongside you? Maybe that's just it. Maybe the heavens feel sorrow for the loss almost as much as you and wish to let their despair known. Gripping my hands into fists, I tolerate the words that fall from Yukio's lips, going on and on about how having Rin in his life affected it and how much he'll be missed, despite having turned him away not hours before he... No. I refuse to use that word. I'll never say it again. I can't._

 _Once he's finished, he steps down from the podium, trying to avoid my eyes as I glare at him with hands balled into fists, using everything I have to not lunge at him and blame him for what happened to Rin. Instead, I swallow my breaths, though they tremble viciously, something that Touka notices, her eyes falling upon me with a concerned glance. Nudging my knuckles with her fingertips, she slips her palm into mine, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze whilst I fight off the tears, as well as nerves. They want me to talk. They want me to say something. But I don't have any words to say. I don't want to speak. Ever since it happened, I've refused to talk._

 _"Kaneki, you can't not say something. It'll be alright," Touka murmurs softly, my eyes flickering down to meet hers for a brief second before I turn them away again, gulping down the lump in my throat whilst salty water races to the corners of my eyes, quickly slithering over my face in silver trails. Nodding once, knowing that she's right, I hesitantly drop her hand from mine, gradually taking a few steps towards the podium before I hesitate, casting a look back to Touka. After she mouths 'it'll be alright' again, I break eye-contact and take my rightful place beside where they've placed his body, my brain unable to process the words linked to the passing of a life. I still can't accept it, even though he lies there, completely motionless with no life to his skin. No smile to his face. No emotion to his features. Just... Nothing._

 _Staring out at the sympathetic sea of black clothing, I gasp in a deep breath, my eyes constantly flickering between them and Rin, my bottom lip already trembling weakly whilst tears slip over my cheeks. I have to do this, even if I can't. I won't let him leave without me saying goodbye properly, even if I'll never accept that he's gone._

 _"When I first met Rin, he was broken. Just like me, he was terrified of everything that was happening to him. He needed someone to help him, so I tried. Holy hell I tried. But, in doing so, he helped me too. He saved me from the monster in my head. He saved me from never feeling anything but numb. He made me human. Gave me life again. And this is how I repaid him. If it weren't for me... He... He'd still be alive!" I sob, suddenly feeling my knees buckle from under me as I collapse to the floor, Touka instantly darting over to me so that she can cradle me under her arm, my pained wails tearing through the silence whilst everyone watches, nobody sure how to react as I allow my despair to consume me. "I-I'm sorry, Rin! I-I'm so sorry!" I cry, Touka softly hushing me, though her gentle words take no effect._

 _It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault!_

* * *

With a sharp gasp, I jump out of slumber, tears still clinging to my cheeks as I loudly groan, a sob hitching in my throat as I do. I swear, for the past week or so, all I've had is that same fucking nightmare over and over again. And it's driving me absolutely crazy! It's as if my mind loves to taunt me into thinking that it's real, displaying such vivid images and scenarios that I wake up fearing that it's an actual memory.

Sighing, I rub my face with my palms before I gently rest my fingertips against the back of Rin's hand, soon curling them around it so that I can clasp it tightly, pressing a kiss against the skin with a shaky breath. Last week, when the fight between Shoki and Rin broke out, I was so certain that I'd lost him. That he'd died and it was all my fault that he'd never draw breath again. Until I heard his heartbeat, throbbing against my ear like the pounding of a drum.

After that, I did the only thing I cold think of, being to rush him back to Anteiku as quickly as possible, where they got him breathing again and tried everything they could to get him to wake up. We waited minutes. Hours. Days. Eventually, Yoshimura confirmed that he'd slipped into a coma and there was no telling when he'd open his eyes again.

Whimpering a little, I hold his wrist against my ear, his pulse still strongly thudding through it, allowing me to breathe a small sigh of relief, though that still doesn't cast away the utter despair that's possessed me ever since all of this happened. Because, despite what Touka says, this was my fault. If I hadn't have freaked out, Rin wouldn't have ran away and none of this would've happened in the first place. He'd still be awake. He'd probably be teasing me about how, when we got to Tokyo that night, that one guy at the train station asked me where I got my nails done and I had to awkwardly tell them that it was some kind of made up medical condition, though it was so cringey, Rin practically couldn't stop giggling.

But he's not doing any of those things. He's stuck here, in this bed, unresponsive in every single way, though I'm unsure of whether or not he can hear what we're saying; sometimes comas work in such ways and, others, it's just as though the person's asleep. With Rin, none of us have a clue, though we're leaning towards the fact that he can't hear us since, when he was in a coma after his first encounter with Shoki, he awoke thinking that he'd only been knocked out for a few hours. But it's not as if we'll know until he wakes up. If he does.

I know I shouldn't, for the benefit of myself, as well as everyone else, think about the unhappy ending to all of this, but I just can't help it. Becoming a ghoul turned me into a pessimist, which sucks in situations like these where it's literally a matter of life and death. I mean, Rin could wake up any second now, perfectly fine and back to his old self. But he could also stop breathing at any given moment and that would be it. Then again, I guess that's true for life in general really. Even still, I can't help but worry 24/7, which is why I've been unable to get sleep for the past week. Whenever I do, I'm awoken by nightmares.

But that's not all I'm lacking the ways of health; eating's been another issue too. I guess I decided that, if Rin has to suffer in this state, then I don't deserve to feed myself. I don't deserve to be healthy after what I did to him. If anything, I should be suffering far more than he is, so I refuse to eat, no matter how many times Touka tries to shove flesh at me, demanding that I at least take one mouthful. That argument is quickly won when you have a size-altering demon-cat on your side to back you up.

"I'm telling you, Kaneki's not gonna let you in there!" I hear Touka urgently hiss from down the hallway, my body flinching a little as I gradually uncurl my kagune from the base of my back, Kuro twitching a little in his sleep as he bundles himself up next to Rin, as if he can feel the tension that instantly fills me. That's another thing: the list of people allowed in this room is a very short one indeed. Anyone I don't trust isn't allowed anywhere near Rin without getting a kagune to the face. And I'm being literal about that.

"I don't care! I have to see my brother!" A voice retorts, my hands instantly tightening into fists as I mechanically get to my feet just in time for Yukio to come crashing into the room, his gaze falling upon his unconscious brother before he clasps a hand to his mouth, tears quickly beading in the corners of his eyes. "Rin," he gasps under his breath, hatred burning through me like a frenzy that I really don't regret not being able to control. If it weren't for him, Rin wouldn't have had to flee from True Cross. If it weren't for him, Rin wouldn't have gone through pain.

"Get out. You don't have the right to be here," I spit, my kagune writhing behind me to form a barrier between Rin and everyone else, Yukio's eyes suddenly developing a vicious look as he narrows them into a deadly glare that would intimidate anyone else. But not me. Even when he takes a step towards me, looking as if he's ready to punch me square in the face, I don't flinch, though my kagune twitches a little, like it's eager to defend me instead.

"I don't have the right to see my own brother?" Yukio spits, my fists trembling at my side as I grit my teeth, doing everything I can to control my breathing whilst holding back my anger, trying to get a handle on it so that I don't allow it to do something stupid. As much as I wanna kill Yukio right here and now, I know that Rin would probably kill _me_ when he wakes up.

"Oh so he's your brother now? Because last week, you were calling him a monster!" I yell, Kuro suddenly jumping awake from the harshness of my tone, the small feline hopping down from the bed before staring up at Yukio with lazy eyes, which widen when he notices who's decided to show his face. Glaring at me, Yukio takes another step in my direction, a small lump catching in my throat when I realize his superior height, though I hold my ground nonetheless.

"Well according to Shiemi, I'm not the only one," Yukio hisses, pain suddenly lurching through my chest as he brings up the vile words that I used against Rin, my tough facade cracking the second the memory splinters through me. And, though I want to act as if what he's just said doesn't bother me, I can't; I know he's right to blame me. I hate it, but he's right. I called Rin a demon. My words were the ones that pressured him to flee.

"I know, alright?! I know what I did and I haven't stopped hating myself ever since!" I exclaim, my kagune lowering itself a little as sorrow begins to prickle through me, tugging my emotions through the floor until I can barely keep my hands scrunched into fists, my fingers relaxing as a soft hiccup catches in my throat.

"Me too," Yukio admits in the smallest voice I've ever heard him use, my eyes quickly snapping up from the place they've fixed with on the ground, a slight look of shock racing through my features as I connect my gaze with his guilty one. He... He regrets what he said? Tracking my eyes over to Rin, my kagune finally relaxes completely, crawling back into my tailbone as I sigh, pushing my hair out of my eyes.

"We both screwed up, didn't we?" I mutter, looking up to find Yukio nodding in agreement, though he soon arches his eyebrow in questioning, waiting for my permission to get closer to Rin. And, though I really don't want him to, I can't hold this against him forever. Like I said: we both screwed up. It's our fault and we know it, so the least we can do is wait by Rin's side until he wakes up and we can finally drown him in our apologies.

Nodding once, I turn back around to face Rin, slumping down in the chair I've positioned by the bed whilst Yukio places himself onto the mattress, staring down at his brother with tear-filled eyes, his bottom lip trembling as he sucks in a shaky breath. I know that look; it's the look of someone who can't stop blaming himself for what he's looking at. Because it's the only way I've looked ever since Rin fell into a coma.

"We'll wait for you, Rin," Yukio murmurs, clasping his brother's hand in his own as he silently cries, my heart twisting when I can't help but see my exact actions in Yukio, my own eyes tearing up as I place a small kiss on Rin's cheek, proceeding to brush a piece of hair away from his face.

"And we'll be right here when you wake up. I promise," I mutter, Yukio's lips plucking into a crooked smirk as he nods in agreement, though I soon find that his eyes are tracking over my body, a frown of confusion flickering onto my face when I catch him doing so. "Something wrong?" I ask him, his eyes quickly flying up, as if he didn't expect me to notice him staring like he was. Breaking his gaze away, he fiddles with the fabric of his clothes before looking in my direction again, concern etched into his irises.

"No. It's just... You've gotten thinner, Kaneki," he states, my eyes quickly breaking from his, as if it'll help me avoid the subject, though I doubt he's gonna drop it, this suspicion only being confirmed when he continues to talk. "You know it's crucial for you to eat. What do you think Rin's gonna say when he wakes up? If you're like this after just a week, I can't imagine how you'll be if Rin's in a coma for as long as he was last time." As Yukio explains, I try to tune myself out, though something hits me hard in the chest when he brings up the subject of how me doing this to myself will make Rin feel. I don't care about me, but what if he wakes up and the first thing he feels is guilt?

"I'm not leaving him," I state bluntly, giving Kuro a good scratch behind the ear when he jumps up onto the bed so that he can curl up next to Rin again, nuzzling himself against Rin's shoulder with a small, content purr. I guess you could call that an excuse, but I don't feel as if I deserve to eat. Because I honestly don't. Rin's like this because of me so it's my duty to constantly watch over him and monitor his every breath. I'm not just gonna ditch that to go and feed myself when I don't even feel as if I should be eating anything at all.

"Well I'll go and get you something then. I'll be back in a bit," Yukio murmurs before he rises to his feet, leaving the room before I can stop him. Softly smiling, I reclaim Rin's hand running my thumb over the back of it as I sigh a little.

"Me and your brother actually getting along? That's a new one." I mutter, knowing that, if he could, Rin would probably laugh at that or make some kind of sarcastic comment. But, even though he can't, I'm sure he'll have enough to say when he wakes up. And I can't wait to hear it all.


	33. Chapter 33 FINALE: Light

_**A/N**_

 _ **This is it, guys... The last chapter ;~;**_

 _ **BUT WORRY NOT! For there is an epilogue to come yet that will most likely cause several nosebleeds x'D**_

 _ **I'll also be posting information about the sequel in a chapter after the epilogue too for any who are interested, though it might not be for all of you, which I'd be able to understand.**_

 _ **Anyhoo, that's all from me; I'll leave all of the mushy 'thank you' shiz for a separate chapter. With that said...**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

 _Cracking my eyes open, I release a low groan from the back of my throat, allowing my vision to fill with what, at first, appears to be nothing but a blinding white light. However, after a few moments, the ivory veil fades away to reveal the vague shapes of the people and objects that surround me, though it's difficult to make out specific features due to my overtired mind. Shaking my head a little, I managed to shift some of the blurriness until more things come into detail, such as colour and form._

 _I'm... I'm at a funeral. Why the heck am I at a funeral? I don't get it; nobody I know has died recently. So being here, staring down at a sea of black clothing and sorrowful looks, sends confusion darting through my head at a painful rate. Don't you just love it when nothing ever adds up? Sighing, I run my hand through my hair, trying to see if I recognize anyone here. And, low and behold, I actually do; within seconds, I find myself fixing my gaze with Kaneki, though his head is bowed, as if he can't bear to break his eyes away from the floor for fear of what lies in front of him. A little worried, I hop off of the slightly elevated platform on which I stand and pace towards him, concern welling within my stomach. Why does he look so upset? So... Broken._

 _"Kaneki?" I mutter when I know I'm within hearing range, though I try to lean lower into his vision so that he knows that I'm here. However, he doesn't even lift his head; he keeps it hanging towards the ground, fixed with his shoes that look as if they've been freshly polished. This is starting to make less and less sense. "Hey, Kaneki! Stop being rude and look at me!" I snap, though I'm soon dragged out of my attempts to reach him when I notice a flash of black motioning past me, my eyes quickly falling upon Yukio as he makes his way towards where I just came from. However, he instead takes a place behind the mahogany podium, looking as though he's trying his hardest to hold back tears._

 _"I don't know where to begin. Rin was... He was someone I wanted to protect. But he was always the one defending me whenever I was in a tough spot. No matter what, he refused to give up on me, even when I turned on him. Apart from dad... He's the only one who ever really believed in me. Without him, I don't know what I'm going to do. He was who I fought for. He was the person I always wanted to save. Now he's gone, I... I don't have that any more," Yukio chokes out, his voice rasp as he relays his words that send tight coils wringing through my stomach. What the heck does he mean by 'now he's gone'?! I don't... I don't understand._

 _"Yukio! I-I'm right here!" I exclaim, quickly running up to the platform so that I can stand directly in front of Yukio, proving to him that, wherever he thinks I've gone, I'm not there; I'm here! But his expression doesn't shift; he merely allows the tears to fall, my chest tightening. He can't see me. Why the fuck can't my own brother see me?! "Yukio..." I whimper, my twin making his way back to his place before he has the breakdown I can see him holding back in front of everyone. To see him this way, even after what he did and said to me, sends splinters of agony through my nerves. Because, whether he sees it this way or not, we're brothers and his pain is my pain. And, right now, looking at him with such sorrow and hopelessness on his face is causing my heart to twist into uncomfortable knots._

 _"I-I can't do this, Touka," I hear a weak voice croak from behind me, my eyes soon flickering back to Kaneki, who has thick tears laced along his waterline, though he's strongly biting down on his bottom lip in order to hold them back before they spill. He sounds so... Alone._

 _"I know it's hard. But you can't let him go unless you say goodbye," Touka whispers soothingly in Kaneki's ear, curling a hand around his to reassuringly squeeze it whilst I just stand by and watch my boyfriend's determination to hide away his emotions gradually cracking. If only he could freaking see me! He needs to know that I'm here with him, just like I always am!_

 _"I don't want to say goodbye! I want him back!" Kaneki wails with clear agony in his tone, the eyes of the crowd surrounding him soon fixing upon him when he finally permits himself to violently sob, his knees giving out until he's crumpled on the ground, Touka's arm wrapped around him as he heavily weeps the tears that send a fresh spear of pain right through my heart with each new one._

 _"I'm right here, Kaneki! Just hear me!" I cry, feeling my eyes beginning to sting as I crouch beside him, desperate to make him notice me. Anything. Just voice. A shadow. Literally anything to let him see that I've not abandoned him. That I'm still here and everything's alright. But, as usual, he stares right through me, a pained breath hitching in my throat when I see the dead look in his eyes, as if he's lost a light he once held. "I'm right here," I repeat, deciding to lift my hand to place my palm against his cheek in a caring gesture. However, the second my fingertips come into contact with his skin, everything suddenly shifts._

 _In a single instant, blood starts to viciously race from Kaneki's eyes in sickening ribbons that create crimson cracks over his porcelain skin, his eyes rolling back into his head a few seconds before blue flames consume him. And the whole time he's screaming in sheer agony, his shrieks ripping through me as I stumble away from him, pulling back my hand as I stare with wide eyes. What the fuck's happening?! That question's soon answered when his body falls limp to the ground, darkness exploding from where he hits, erasing every single person and detail in the surrounding area until it's just he and I consumed in an ebony abyss that hums with the glow of the fire that's attacking him._

 _Crying in a gasp, I rush back over to his lifeless body, pulling his head onto my lap whilst choking down gulps of air, my eyes desperately searching for anything to show that he's still alive. It all happened so fast. And all I did was touch him. "Kaneki? Oi, Kaneki!" I yell, shaking his form to no avail, that blood still staining his face in disgusting trails. I can't have done this to him. Am I really that much of a monster?_

 _Once I release a wail of emotional torment, my flames ignite in a frenzy around both of us, a deathly ring surrounding me and the boy that I love with all of my heart, who's now lying in my arms with no sense of life to his being. He doesn't move to signal breathing. He doesn't scream to signal pain. He's just motionless._

 _'This is your fault,' a vicious voice hisses from the depths of the darkness, my heart twisting as I clutch Kaneki to my chest, weeping into his hair as I softly cradle him, begging with everything that I have that he'll come back to me. He has to. I don't want to be alone in this world. My life... It'd be nothing without him. 'You destroy everything you touch,' that same voice spits in such a menacing tone, my eyes finally flying up to see a sight that causes a terrified breath to catch in my throat._

 _Bent before me in an unnatural pose, the body of my dad stands, though he has a sickening, almost insane, grin plastered onto his lips, revealing a set of jagged teeth that jut out from his gums in threatening points to match the ones that hold a place at the tip of his ears, looking much like mine when I unleash my powers. However, his eyes leak blood and, when he connects his gaze with my own, I see the crimson pupils that I know all too well swirling with what appears to be eagerness, his entire body drowned in flames. 'Me. Him. Who will you kill next, Rin?' He growls, a demonic laugh soon tearing from him when I feel a single tear slip from my eye. I-I'm not a killer! I'm not! It wasn't my fault!_

 _"I didn't mean to!" I whimper, though my only response is that same resounding giggle that drills directly through my skull, my features eventually finding sanctuary in Kaneki's hair as I release a choked sob. All of the people who have died because of me. Did I kill them? Were their lives stolen from them just so that I could live to do it all over again? No... I... I didn't do it. I didn't kill them! I didn't! "I'M NOT LIKE YOU! I DON'T KILL! I DON'T FIND PLEASURE FROM PEOPLE'S PAIN! IF THEY'RE HURTING, THEN IT HURTS ME TOO! SO DON'T YOU DARE... DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT I'D WILLINGLY KILL THE PEOPLE I LOVE!" I scream, clutching Kaneki as close to me as I can whilst I whimper into his shoulder, my heart feeling as through it's been completely torn in two._

 _"Rin. Honey, you can open your eyes. He's gone. It's alright," a soft tone coos from before me, my head and tear-filled eyes gradually tracking upwards until they meet with the form of a beautiful woman with dark-brown, almost black, hair that falls past her hips in gentle waves that lap lightly at her pale complexion. Upon her face, she has several splotches, kinda like Yukio, with the most beautiful, aqua irises adorning the area just below her bangs. "My baby. Look at how big you've gotten. How strong," she murmurs, a few tears running down my cheeks before I suddenly realize just who's talking to me, her hand extended towards me for me to take. However, I keep mine curled around Kaneki, cradling his limp form against my torso. "So much love. I'm so proud of you, Rin," she whispers calmly, instead deciding to kneel beside me so that she can curl her arm around my shoulders in a comforting gesture._

 _"Mom... Is it really you?" I ask with a shuddering tone, fixing my eyes with hers as she slowly nods, my hands staring to tremble against Kaneki when the reality hits me hard. It's my mom. It's... It's really her. The woman I never got to meet. The woman who fought to bring Yukio and I into this world healthily, away from people who may have wanted us both dead._

 _"It's me, sweetie. I finally got to see you all grown up," she breathes as I nestle into her touch, sobbing against her whilst I keep my arms softly clasped around Kaneki, my emotions too mangled and warped to know what they're even feeling right now. "He isn't dead, Rin. And neither are you," my mom whispers, a hiccup catching in my throat at her words. I don't understand, though; if I'm not dead, why can I hear and see her? "It's time for you to wake up, baby. Open your eyes and see light again," she coos, placing a gentle kiss on my cheek before standing, offering her hand to me again. Looking down at Kaneki, I press my lips into his hair with a muffled whimper before allowing my arms to unwrap from him, my body shakily rising from the ground._

 _However, just before I can reach out to slip my fingers into hers, there's the sudden sound of soft echoing, more like the gentle chimes of singing, that begins to weave through the air, the lyrics holding a strength of emotion that I can't say I've experienced before._

 _"May these words be the first_

 _To find your ears._

 _The world is brighter than the sun_

 _Now that you're here._

 _Though your eyes will need some time to adjust_

 _To the overwhelming light surrounding us,_

 _I'll give you everything I have._

 _I'll teach you everything I know._

 _I promise I'll do better._

 _I will always hold you close,_

 _But I will learn to let you go._

 _I promise I'll do better._

 _I will soften every edge,_

 _I'll hold the world to its best,_

 _And I'll do better._

 _With every heartbeat I have left_

 _I will defend your every breath,_

 _And I'll do better._

 _'Cause you are loved._

 _You are loved more than you know._

 _I hereby pledge all of my days_

 _To prove it so._

 _Though your heart is far too young to realize_

 _The unimaginable light you hold inside,_

 _I'll give you everything I have._

 _I'll teach you everything I know._

 _I promise I'll do better._

 _I will always hold you close,_

 _But I will learn to let you go._

 _I promise I'll do better._

 _I will rearrange the stars,_

 _Pull 'em down to where you are._

 _I promise, I'll do better._

 _With every heartbeat I have left,_

 _I'll defend your every breath._

 _I promise I'll do better._

 _I will soften every edge,_

 _Hold the world to its best._

 _I promise I'll do better._

 _With every heartbeat I have left,_

 _I'll defend your every breath."_

Kaneki?

* * *

 _ **KANEKI'S P.O.V**_

" _I'll give you everything I have._

 _I'll teach you everything I know._

 _I promise I'll do better._

 _I will always hold you close,_

 _But I will learn to let you go._

 _I promise I'll do better._

 _I will rearrange the stars,_

 _Pull 'em down to where you are._

 _I promise, I'll do better._

 _With every heartbeat I have left,_

 _I'll defend your every breath._

 _I promise I'll do better._

 _I will soften every edge,_

 _Hold the world to its best._

 _I promise I'll do better._

 _With every heartbeat I have left,_

 _I'll defend your every breath."_

Once I finally conclude the song that I couldn't help but sing after having to endure a month without knowing whether or not Rin can even hear me, I rest my head on the bed beside him, running my finger through the frequent rise and fall the sheets, though I manage to catch the small bead of silver that slips from my eye. I miss him. I miss his voice. I miss the goofy faces he makes. I miss feeling of his conscious touch.

Right up until I feel fingers lace through my hair.

With a sharp gasp, I instantly bolt up with widened eyes, my heart hammering heavily in my chest when my eyes track down to Rin, who I'm so used to seeing with nothing but a dormant look on his features. However, when I finally fixate my gaze with his face, the first thing I notice is a pair of swirling, azure orbs burning into me, a crooked smile gracing his lips.

"You've gotten thin," Rin croaks, though he can barely finish when I suddenly launch myself onto him, my features instantly burrowing into his neck whilst his arms gently encompass me and my sobbing form. Please... Please tell me this isn't a dream! It can't be; his touch feels to real. Too familiar.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Rin! I-I'm so sorry! I love you. I love you so much!" I cry, Rin softly hushing me as I begin to get myself completely and utterly worked up, tears refusing to stop running from my eyes as he holds me, peppering a light kiss into my hair. The second he does, I find myself drawing away, just staring at his face through my blurred vision, my lips trembling viciously. So I do the only thing I can think of and press them to his, a slightly startled, yet soft, moan catching in Rin's throat, though he soon accepts the kiss and curls his arms around me, cradling me close to his chest.

The second he does, I try to halt my sobs, reminding myself of just how perfectly our lips fit into one another's, tears racing to my eyes all over again when I start to feel the warmth that I haven't felt in the month that he's been unconscious, my heart heavily throbbing against my chest as I weep. But these are tears of hope. Of happiness and joy. Ones that only Rin can bring me.

"I love you too, Kaneki."

* * *

 _We are loved._

 _We are loved more than we know._

 _We hereby pledge all of our days_

 _To prove it so._

 _Though our hearts are far too young to realize_

 _The unimaginable light we hold inside._


	34. EPILOGUE: Stole the Show

_**A/N**_

 _ **Here it is. The epilogue...**_

 _ **If you're prone to nosebleeds, I suggest you find a little hole to curl up in with a lot of tissues because the smut is real in this part ;D**_

 _ **So ya, you have been warned. I'll just give the smut warning right now because it's pretty much right away x'D**_

 _ **Also, information on the sequel will be released in an A/N chapter that I'll be posting later tonight :3**_

 _ **So, for the last time in this story...**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter ^^**_

 _ **Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX**_

* * *

 _ **RIN'S P.O.V**_

"See? Told you it'd work," I mutter with a smirk from over Kaneki's shoulder, admiring his reflection as he sighs with a light smile, my fingers running over his stomach whilst warmth pulses through me each time my heart beats. I've been doing pretty much everything I can over the past few months to make sure that Kaneki gets his health back into shape, which means that I've forced him to eat, sleep and also work out so that he can actually get a little more muscle on his bones. And it seems to have worked pretty well, though I'm a little worried that perhaps I've done too good of a job; holy shit he looks really fucking good with more tone to his form.

"Yeah I know. I've said sorry enough times though, Rin," Kaneki states in response, a small chuckle leaking from me as I nod against his neck, my arms curling around his bare torso to pull him closer whilst my tail eagerly wraps around his legs. He's right; ever since I woke up, every morning he'd apologize. Every night he'd apologize. Even when he didn't need to he would. I guess the guilt he feels is something he's not gonna easily overcome. But I honestly wish he wouldn't beat himself up about it so much; he didn't make me go out of control. That was all thanks to Shoki. It was _her_ words that caused me to snap and lash out. However, every time I tell Kaneki that, he instantly brings it back to how I ran away in the first place because of what he said. Every time he always links it back to himself.

"Well you're looking better so that's all that matters," I murmur into his skin, Kaneki humming in response before he twists around in my arms so that he can face me, resting his palms on my hips with a lopsided smirk that always causes my heart to throb against my chest.

"I'm still convinced that I'm gonna wake up. After three months, you'd think that I'd know this is real by now," Kaneki suddenly admits, a frown knitting onto my eyebrows as I tilt my head a little, not really understanding why he still thinks this is all a dream. I've had times over the past few months where he's woken up holding me so tight I can barely breathe, begging me to wake up so he knows that I'm still alive. And it's horrible to watch; I just want his mind to accept that I'm not in that coma any more.

"You want me to prove it's not a dream?" I inquire with a raised eyebrow, Kaneki furrowing his into a look of confusion that's slowly demolished when I forcefully push my lips against his, both of them instantly fitting together like the pieces of the puzzle that is our messed up lives. But these two link into each other perfectly, softly lacing over the other in such a delicate way that still manages to tighten my chest with eagerness for more.

With the smallest whimper, I dab my tongue against his lips, which gradually part so that I can begin lapping at _his_ tongue, a soft moan whining from Kaneki as I do, my arms tightening their grip around him so that I can pull him closer. However, just when I think that I'm about to take control, I suddenly feel his fingers twisting around my tail, a smirk forming on his mouth the second I release a sharp whine through the kiss. Damn asshole. He _knows_ that's my sensitive spot!

"You know you can moan, right?" Kaneki whispers when he breaks for air, though he soon motions his lips to my neck, his teeth nipping at the skin just around my left collarbone, my hands balling into fists against his bare back when what I'm sure is pleasure shoots through me.

"Pervert," I jokingly spit in response, a light breath of a laugh escaping from Kaneki before he begins lacing his tongue over my neck, suckling at the one spot he knows will encourage a reaction from me, a soft moan leaking from my throat when I feel him also tug a little at my tail at the same time. And, though I should feel uncomfortable, knowing that it's Kaneki doing this to me allows me to instead enjoy everything he's doing, despite also being sure that he's slipped into pervert mode. Which means he's got control over me, just like I'm sure he wants.

I'm quickly beckoned out of my thoughts when Kaneki's hand gradually slips under my shirt, tracing over my stomach since I no longer have any excuse to stop him now that he knows about the little secret I was keeping up there for the majority of the time we were dating. However, he doesn't stop there; once he's graced each one of my muscles with his fingertips, he works them towards the hem of my shirt, gripping the material between them as if awaiting permission.

Pulling away a little, I allow him to tug my tee over my head, letting it crumple to the floor before he gathers me up in his arms, placing several kisses along my neck, as if to distract me from the hand that's motioning downwards, eventually crawling past my waistband until his knuckles brush against my cock. Instantly, with no control over it, I let out a whine, burying my face into his collarbone, my teeth starting to nip at his skin. "Take them off, idiot," I hiss against him, my tail suddenly twitching free when he relaxes his grip on it, instead placing his hands back onto my hips.

"You sure?" He asks in a whisper against my ear, a shudder running through me; why the fuck would I not be sure? And why is he suddenly stopping to ask permission when he's been so keen to touch me up whenever he gets the chance? Nodding my head, I latch my lips onto his collarbone, feeling the cold air gradually nipping at my legs when he begins to wind the fabric down my thighs, allowing it to fall completely when it reaches my knees. Once the denim pools on the ground, I step out of the mangled material, instantly pressing myself against him, my erection pushing against his thigh.

Almost right away, I slip my fingers around his waistband as well, continuing to repeatedly kiss and nip at his neck as I work his pants off of his legs, though I decide to crouch a little so that I can run my tongue over his torso when I rise again, his fingers gripping the back of my neck as I do. Smirking, feeling as though I'm taking back a little bit of control, I once again place my lips to his, though he realizes what I'm doing and seizes my tail in his grip, a moan suddenly breaking free from my lungs.

Not wasting any more time, his soft palms run along the curves of my body until his fingertips start to pluck at the elastic of my boxers, my head simply nodding against him so that he can proceed to strip them off of me, leaving me completely exposed as his arms knot around me again. In response, I do exactly the same, revealing his hardened member, which he presses against me in a way that causes a whimper to hum at the back of my throat.

"A-Are you gonna fuck me or what?" I somewhat snap in a bit of an aggressive tone, though I can't exactly help it; I've been craving this for so long now. I need him to satisfy the hunger before it drives me completely insane. Chuckling, Kaneki allows his arms to guide me into the sheets of the bed, my back pressed against the material that feels freezing in comparison to the burning frenzy that races through my blood.

"You're so impatient, Rin," he breathes, my eyes rolling themselves a little, though they're instantly stopped when I feel Kaneki motion himself lower, his lips lightly curling around my tip whilst his tongue runs along it, a whine hitching in my throat. But he refuses to stop there, his mouth working its way further down my member until I understand what he expects me to do. Rolling my hips forward ever so gradually, I allow Kaneki to lace his lips and tongue around my cock, breaths of moans occasionally ripping from me whilst more and more pressure starts to build. However, just when I'm sure I'm at the edge, Kaneki suddenly pulls away.

"Hey, at least finish what you started!" I snarl, Kaneki rolling his eyes as he crawls onto me, reaching over me so that his fingers can ensnare something in their grasp, his palm gradually opening to reveal a tube of lube, his lips pressing against my neck as he uncaps it.

"Oh I will," he whispers in a way that causes a vicious shiver to race through me, a whine leaking from me as he coats his fingers in the substance, gradually guiding them downwards. Then, without any kind of warning of how it's gonna feel, Kaneki slides one of them into me, prompting me to suck in a sharp hiss that only develops into a small whimper when he motions his finger around.

Once the pain ebbs a little, he proceeds to inserts another, this time encouraging a loud whine to tear from me, my hands crumpling into fists against his back. Noticing that he's clearly bringing me pain, even though I could probably mistake it for pleasure if this wasn't my first time, Kaneki leans down and presses a kiss against my cheek, allowing me to relax, if only a little. "Just one more, Rin. It'll hurt but not for long," he assures me in that silken voice that I can't help but melt into, though I'm snapped back into feeling tense again when he places the third and final finger into me, pain ripping through my lower body in a sharp jolt that makes my hips jerk a little.

Out of said pain, I find myself wrapping my tail around my leg, the ebony fur soft against my skin in contrast to the stabbing sting that splinters through my south, a sensation that doesn't even ebb when Kaneki proceeds to pull his fingers out again, his lips still suckling at my neck. And, though I don't expect to, I can't help but still feel that burning hunger, though I'm distracted from it when Kaneki's tip begins to test my entrance, a soft wail echoing from me as he does. Scrunching my toes up, I tighten my tail around my thigh as Kaneki pushes deeper into me, the pain that I felt earlier seeming to double as it explodes through me. Once again seeing the effects of what he's doing, Kaneki hesitates a little, something that, for some reason, prompts irritation and frustration to build.

"Don't fucking stop!" I snap, rocking my hips upwards a little to encourage him to keep going, a harsh moan wailing from me as he follows my movements, bumping forwards and backwards whilst his hand thoroughly pumps my member. Once we manage to form a solid rhythm, we continue to stick to it until I know I can't hold it in any more, my back arching with a loud moan due to all of the pent up pressure."K-Kaneki!" I cry when he increases his pace, rolling his hips faster until I finally release myself, my cum rolling over his hand and onto our skin, pleasure rocketing through me in a sudden instant.

Allowing a similar moan to rip from him, after a few moments, I feel Kaneki's seed being pumped into me, a cry whining from me as he pulls out and collapses onto my bare torso, pants being torn from the two of us as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me close until our bodies are tangled together. "Holy shit," I breathe against his skin, a soft chuckle catching in his throat as he nuzzles his nose into my neck, placing a few soft kisses against it to distract me from the feeling of a little of his cum dribbling from me. And, yes, it works. "I mean, people always say how great sex is but... Holy shit," I repeat, encouraging a louder laugh to sound from Kaneki as he hugs me closer, allowing his lips to grace my jawline.

"I love you, Rin," he whimpers into my skin, a soft smile plucking onto my mouth as I curl myself into his touch, snuggling up to his chest with a soft sigh, a kiss being planted into my hair. I'm so lucky. I'm so damn lucky to have someone like him. Someone who's gonna look after me and protect me because the thought of me getting hurt is too much for him to even consider. Someone who's gonna love me no matter how much of a fuck up I am at life.

Someone like Kaneki.

"I love you too."


	35. AN Sequel Info

So hey there, guys. Glad you stuck around to listen to me get mushy :D

Alright... Here goes

Go To Hell was an idea I randomly got one night when I thought 'huh... I wonder what it would be like if Rin became a ghoul'. Weird thought but I went with it anyway. I didn't intend to ship him with Kaneki until the ship kinda made itself. And I am so so so glad it did; it's given me so much happiness which I feel really big-headed about saying since it's a ship I created myself. But then this story grew and grew until there were thousands of people reading and I realized that I wasn't the only one who admired these two as a pairing.

Also, I was writing this story during exam time when I was suffering from severe anxiety and pretty much threw up every single morning because I was so nervous about exams and just life in general. It was writing this story that probably kept me sane throughout the whole thing and it's what I've been doing to get my mind off of everything in my head right now. It's helped me out so much and I don't know what I'd do without it.

And then comes you guys. You guys made it worth writing (save for the perfection of the ship). Thanks to all of you, I've been able to put up with things I probably wouldn't have. Every time I update, I'm always so excited to read the hilarious, beautiful and downright amazing things you all have to say because it makes me feel as though I'm actually having an effect on people. Reading your comments make me so happy and pushes me to write more.

Which is why I'm writing a sequel.

This isn't a surprise by this point; I've already hinted in previous A/Ns that I'm planning one. But here's the thing that might put some of you off...

It's gonna be an MPreg.

Now I know there are some people who don't like them out there but I just want you to know that I'm not gonna drop an idea I have just because a few people won't read it. If you don't want to, I respect you for that and I won't hold it against you. But to those who are actually going to carry on reading, thank you.

And thank all of you for reading through this story, which I pretty much love with all my heart by this point.

Thank you.

* * *

Without further ado, here's the blurb for the sequel 'Run From Heaven'

 _Things were starting to get easy... More or less. Shoki had been killed, the Vatican had calmed down about what they had called The Blue Night Mark II, and it seemed that no danger was about to present itself. Well doesn't life always love to come crashing down like usual?_

 _Rin and Kaneki, fresh from their battle for at least a moment's peace, were just adjusting to a normal way of life. Well... As normal as it can get for a half-demon half- ghoul and a half-human half-ghoul. However, their sense of reality is quickly shattered when they learn of a possibility that they'd never even considered before._

 _And matters are only made worse when the Vatican decide to get involved again, desperate to see the end of Satan's son and the 'danger' he presents. Now, both of them are fleeing for their lives, terrified of being captured by the group of exorcists who are out to kill Rin. Little do they know that, upon doing so, they'd be stealing away so much more as well._

* * *

I hope you're as excited as I am and I can't wait to see you there ^^

Until next time...

Peace out, my lovely peeps!XxX


	36. SEQUEL'S HERE

_**HEY THERE! JUST LETTING YOU ALL KNOW THAT THE SEQUEL HAS BEEN PUBLISHED AND IT'S BEEN POSTED TO MY PROFILE. IT'S NAMED 'RUN FROM HEAVEN' AND I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY! I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU THERE ^^**_

 _ **PEACE OUT, MY LOVELY PEEPS!XxX**_


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